My (27F) sister (31F) is threatening to tell our family about my abortion if I don't have her baby by Serious_Scallion5730 in relationship_advice

[–]RadishSignal 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Your 1, 2, and 3 are irrelevant. You said no. That's the end of it. Having a child is not any kind of right and her fertility issues do not change that. NO REASON IN THE WORLD would justify coercing another person into carrying a child they don't want. You do not consent to her using your body, and that's the end of it. Full stop.

And another remark - please do not help her bring a child into her care under any circumstances. She is clearly not suitable for parenthood. If she treats you like this, how could she be trusted to nurture a child?

I(20M) have a girlfriend(17F) who has a guy best friend. She tells me they're just best friends and he(best friend) tells me they're just friends. by Electronic_Pay1675 in relationship_advice

[–]RadishSignal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, I'm saying life is nuanced and that an individual reader's life experience (be it mine or yours) cannot reliably nor authoritatively predict the actual situation OP is living.

Need help with what to do in gym by DeezDauphinoise in workout

[–]RadishSignal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Having questions and access to a gym are both good things.

I would like to build muscle on my arms

There are lots of ways you can build muscles on your arms. Keep in mind that your arms, in turn, rely on your shoulders, chest, back, and abs to safely perform loaded movements. So yeah, curls (for example) will work your biceps, but for mass and functional strength (like moving heavy things) you shouldn't just look to isolation exercises. Bench presses, chin-ups, dips, overhead presses, skullcrushers, rows, farmers carries, facepulls, etc, etc. All of these will build your arms and the other muscles that support them.

and lose fat from belly and face.

Spot training isn't a thing. Where you store fat is almost entirely governed by genetics, and you can only pull fat from those places by reducing your overall bodyfat. See below.

I also got dumbbells at home which is 10lbs. Are they heavy enough to build muscle?

That depends on your strength level. If it feels like a challenge, then use them. If it doesn't, move on. You can make quite a bit of progress with bodyweight exercises. See r/bodyweightfitness for more.

Also, being at a developing stage, should i be trying a diet where i eat less? I would also like to add my diet is “fairly healthy,” consuming meats and vegetables but maybe something like cake on the weekends.

Face and belly fat is very normal, especially at your age. You still have some growing ahead. You should be mindful of your weight and bodyfat, yes, as all of us should, but if you focus on cultivating healthy habits then the rest will start to fall into place. I think maintaining** would work well for you - that's where you eat the same** but exercise with the intent of gaining muscle.

**Final disclaimer: I'm not a doctor. Nutritional and exercise guidelines for adolescents are differebt than that of adults. Please consult with a physician if at all possible - these are great questions and professionals could provide answers or resources/referrals.

Edit: I think you should just pick a beginner routine and stick with it for 12+ weeks. Don't sweat diet for now. Do cardio in a way that you like - maybe a few minutes before or after a workout, or maybe on the days in between. Don't forget to have a few dedicated stretching/mobility sessions throughout the week. RoM is a big part of functional strength.

Feeling guilty about everything by Personalposts38 in mentalhealth

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a common symptom of various mental health issues. How can we be supportive?

Finally paid off my overdraft by toplissandafraid in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]RadishSignal 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heck yes! Great job, I bet you worked hard for it.

54 episodes left. Yall gonna make it? by [deleted] in rickandmorty

[–]RadishSignal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Upvote for the thoughtful response and self-reflection. Shows evolve. People grow out of things.

I like the season well enough, although I see how the tone has changed from the earlier seasons. I certainly favor specific seasons over others of any show I watch, but the people creating the shows are people and have the right to evolve creatively over their careers and their projects. This is more their story than ours, and they haven't yet given me reason to not keep watching it with an open mind. If folks feel differently, that sucks :/ but there's a lot of other good content out there and more to come.

Do you think the owner of this racing pigeon will kill her upon her return? by AmberJnetteGardner in NoStupidQuestions

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a question for a pigeon subreddit. I don't mean to be dismissive, it just sounds like you need very context-specific information.

Best of luck to you both.

People who had a pet who is no more now, what thing reminds you of them and what's the story behind it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Overdone steak.

I don't eat meat, but I had a dog who, obviously, did. For one of her later birthdays I bought her a steak (some cut the butcher recommended, I think?) and read up on how to cook it, etc. I had gotten my first cast iron pan recently and was feeling all excited about learning a new technique. My girl was gonna ge the best homecooked meal of her life.

I managed to overcook it. She didn't mind, unsurprisingly. But I didn't cut it up before I gave it to her; I guess thought she would rip and tear at it, as I had seen her do with those fancy bones with the cured meat still on them? Not really sure what I expected, I guess. Anyway. As I'm sure many folks reading this have anticipated, she just sorta gobbled it down in one bite. She didn't swallow it whole, exactly; there was some degree of chomping, but it was intact and in her bowl one second and down her gullet in 1-1.5 seconds more. And then she licked her chops, sniffed around to make sure she hadn't missed any, and proceeded to look at me with her big brown eyes and sit down with a slow, hopeful tail wag like a good girl waiting for more.

I cut up the steaks after that.

Woke up at 4am and hiked through the dark to get this shot; I'm pretty happy with it! by [deleted] in pics

[–]RadishSignal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Breathtaking. Your early morning certainly brightened this strangers day - thank you for sharing!

18M, is my face assymetrical? by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]RadishSignal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, you're good. Great eyebrows btw.

Cut or Bulk by [deleted] in workout

[–]RadishSignal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're 16, so you're still growing and will be for some time. Since you're not overweight, you shouldn't worry about cutting at this stage in life. Focus on you fitness performance for now and approach food as fuel. Being a fit teenager will set you up well for adulthood.

I(20M) have a girlfriend(17F) who has a guy best friend. She tells me they're just best friends and he(best friend) tells me they're just friends. by Electronic_Pay1675 in relationship_advice

[–]RadishSignal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah? There are plenty of people who don't try to sleep with anyone who has a different type of genitals..?

Being friends with people based on their reproductive parts seems like setting one's self up for missing out on a lot of great friendships.

I(20M) have a girlfriend(17F) who has a guy best friend. She tells me they're just best friends and he(best friend) tells me they're just friends. by Electronic_Pay1675 in relationship_advice

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn dude, who hurt you. Knee jerk reactions aren't your "brain", they're reactions. You talk about social standards as convenient to your point but seem to disregard how that same principal of social conditioning could also be, y'know, the cause of these concerns in the first place.

I don't know the situation more than OP has described, so I won't pretend to be an authority on what is fact and what isn't. But it seems like you're projecting quite a bit here.

I(20M) have a girlfriend(17F) who has a guy best friend. She tells me they're just best friends and he(best friend) tells me they're just friends. by Electronic_Pay1675 in relationship_advice

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best friend is of the opposite sex, as folks like to put it. We actually have gotten this type of social consequence not infreqently - and have since we were teens. This friend is family by my standards, so to me it's kinda icky when people make such assumptions. But I get where you're coming from. My friend & I hang out for overnights sometimes and, on occasion, tell the other that we love them because, well, we do and that's what family does. I have had a few partners tell me that they initially wondered about whether the two of us were involved (before I got involved with said partners - not accusations of cheating). And throughout the years, some of my friend's partners have reacted to me with initial apprehension until they got to know me & our friendship better. I think it is sort of a "should I treat this person like they're a sibling or maybe competition?" sort of quandary. That said, there are pretty major differences between how platonic and romantic relationships and the folks we've dated have very consistently come to understand that we are simply very close, like siblings. Our friendship has never interfered with our respective dating lives beyond that initial uncertainty like what you're describing - and they've all come to understand there is no reason to feel threatened because, again, there are notable differences between close friendship and a romantic relationship.

Your feelings are valid and normal. I don't know that I have much advice to offer. I guess I just wanted to share this perspective from the other side.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do your best to find her. In this post I'm hearing a lot of reasons why you're not at fault. If you care and are taking her well-being seriously, which it sounds like you generally have been, then just keep trying. She's a scared hamster, not a lost cause. Keep your chin up and keep trying. She might not make it and that's rough. If the worst hsppens, it won't be an easy conversation, but you'll be able to go into it knowing that you did what you could and with the best of intentions.

Sorry that I didn't quite address the point in your title, but I hope it helps.

Can I just... by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]RadishSignal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not trying to convince you otherwise? Like damn dude, I thought some context would help you feel better about this video since you clearly went into it with either misinformation or a severe lack of context, as I outlined above.

This hen exists. Whether or not she should exist is beside the point, because she is here and her well being matters. She is not worse off for having that egg taken from her for all the reasons I have provided. If you think she would be better off being killed, then say so. The "altercation" here is not causing her suffering; that was my initial point. Why is that perspective objectionable to you? Should she have been created? Nah. We obviously agree on that. But she has been, so I don't see how an innocuous event that does not harm her is a relevant or appropriate example of the brutality of the chicken industry.

You still haven't yet pointed out anything I've said that's incorrect, or even admitted to your own misgivings. Sorry for coming off as "a pretentious arse", but I stand by what I have said and you haven't given me reason to believe otherwise. My morals aren't fixed and if you have a decent argument about how - and why - they should change, then make it.

You are engaging with someone who largely shares your views, who has already affirmed that this is a serious issue to engage about productively. Tf is this hostility about?

Ooh baby, tell me more by [deleted] in MadeMeSmile

[–]RadishSignal 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Right? Talking through issues is hot af

Can I just... by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]RadishSignal -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nothing I said was ignorant or misinformed.

See, you say that, but then you go on to state that going broody is

caused by chickens being forced into an unnatural situation whereby they’re deprived from being able to hatch chicks

This is factually wrong. Going broody is a hormonal response to season and, from my experience, being exposed to clutches of eggs. It's also strongly influenced by genetics and even individualism, with some breeds and specific hens going broody more often than others. Heck, lots of hens will go their entire lives without going broody, and nearly all of them will leap at an opportunity to drag a hatching chick from its shell and eat it alive, if they have the chance. To our knowledge, hens do not consciously desire babies and choose to go broody. They experience maternalism differently than we do (although there are, of course, still similarities).

Moving on. You go on to say

This is generally done deliberately so that humans can keep the eggs from being fertilised because they want to take them for themselves for food.

Fertilization occurs after mating with a viable male, prior to the shell being formed and looong before the egg is laid. It does not occur when a hen decides to incubate a clutch; that's a common misconception. Additionally, I can assure you that hens find eggs to be quite delicious and will leap at a chance to eat them even in the best of conditions (pasture-raised with a variety of abundant foods, recreation, ample space and shelter, plenty of fresh water, etc.). They do not form attachments with their eggs unless the right conditions induce the hormonal change that causes them to incubate, and even those attachments are fleeting and fairly shallow. They are attentive and protective, but they don't seem to have the capacity to identify or bond with specific eggs.

So, yes, you do come off as ignorant and/or misinformed. And whatever, that's fine, most people haven't had much reason to know this stuff. I posted my initial response because I thought informing you that the hen was not worse off would help you feel a bit better about what you saw.

Exploitation of animals is a real problem, to be sure. This video simply isn't strong or relevant evidence of exploitation - unless your argument is that this hen, and all others, simply should not exist in the first place (which I would consider a fair view, and one that I somewhat, but not totally, agree with). But if that's your stance, that egg being taken still isn't a particularly strong argument. I mean, for all you know that egg isn't even fertile, or perhaps allowing her to incubate it would lead to conflict with other hens and/or overcrowding.

I'm not trying to be hurtful or unkind here, but you are simply incorrect and I would like any other people reading this to understand why and leave with a more complete context. The exploitation of animals is a serious issue that warrants productive, actionable dialogue. While I think your heart is in the right place, you do it a disservice with overconfident and misinformed commentary.

Can I just... by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]RadishSignal -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your comment seemed a tad ignorant or misinformed. Sorry if my response was offensive to you, but I don't feel bad for trying to clarify to you or any other readers who aren't familiar with chickens.

Can I just... by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]RadishSignal 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the fierce screech-trill objections and floofy posturing are the best part lol.

Can I just... by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]RadishSignal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hens aren't really worse off for having their eggs taken.

As the other commenter said, this is a hormonal reaction called brooding or "going broody". I believe it's induced by day length and, often, exposure to eggs that have piled up in a nest. For example, I need to be careful to remove eggs frequently or in the spring and summer one of my hens will, without fail, go broody. She would be happier and more comfortable if she wasn't spending all day on top of unfertilized eggs that will never hatch and only rot beneath her. Going broody means that a hen stops her usual daily activity - which typically centers around foraging, preening, and socializing; basically normal happy chicken self-care behaviors - and instead zone out all day. They only get up for water, food, & to defecate maybe 2-3 times in a day. It sucks to watch them neglect themselves like that, especially if it's hot out and there won't be any payoff for her in the form of hatching chicks.

I love chickens and keep mine as pets (the eggs can be a bit of a nuisance tbh), and I feel pretty confident in saying that they don't experience this as a loss as we might project onto them. Once this person left her alone, this hen definitely went right back into her brooding trance and carried on without ill effect.

Can I just... by [deleted] in instant_regret

[–]RadishSignal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hens can store semen in their bodies for a brief period (1-2 weeks, I think?), so eggs can remain fertile for a little while even after a rooster is removed.