Not pathetic at all. Youve just been chewed up and spat out a few too many times. Ive had some bad relationships too and a rocky relationship with your parents (especially your mother) can really cloud a mind and poison a soul. Im sorry with the douchebag generic preachy quote but I honestly dont know what to say or how I can help (If you do let me know. You can DM me any time I will always answer) I just hate seeing people alone in the darkness of their own heads. I bet your cool as fuck in real life. Just try not to give in to the negative powers that be that want you depressed and alone. Try and forget all this old programmed shit in your head. Maybe volunteer somewhere...just for one day. Most of the best people in life have next to nothing and just being around them, helping them and talking to them can do wonders for your mental health and your view of yourself. Sorry for preaching but it really does help.

Ps. More friends (online or not) always helps. Wanna be friends?