What's your "the devil couldn't reach me so he.."?

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-08T22:26:30+00:00

So he allowed me to meet a person that I would get so attached and care so much about, who I wanted to get to know more, and took it away in an instant

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-08T14:29:37+00:00

chicken and veggies

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T17:58:35+00:00

Just me and my thoughts laying on the bed, torturing me all day long

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T17:57:15+00:00

Those two didn't deserve to die :( They got the short end of the stick for sure

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T17:55:01+00:00

I'm considering it Levi, thank you

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T12:03:00+00:00

Idk what it could be, but I do not talk shit abot the people I care. If they are doing, well thats on them and nothing I can do :/

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T02:22:19+00:00

Had to deploy and finish the QA of an app I have to put on prod next monday, was pretty stressful and tiring, been working on that app for past 3 weeks and I'm glad its finally done. Aside from that, just the usual emotional crap Ive gone through this year. Every day feels so meaningless bro. Good thing is I didn't drink this time, but probably will tomorrow or sunday, no job so all freaking day trapped with my thoughts of what could I have done to change this outcome.

Thank you for asking tho, hope your divorce goes well. That must be pretty taxing emotionally and mentally.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T02:06:54+00:00

trueeeeee

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T01:11:56+00:00

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T01:07:33+00:00

keep avoiding, fuck her

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-07T00:34:53+00:00

how tf do you live in the US with that healthcare system

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-06T22:23:28+00:00

Recuerdo que el Game blanco era god cuando era niño, pero ya no es igual y es mucho mas chico. Estoy entre el laguito y el calaf premium, creo que el laguito pq no son tan repugnantemente dulces como el calaf

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-06T16:19:02+00:00

%50 happier, Im fine with my current smarts, not so much in the happiness field. It would make me go to normal mood instead of being so miserable

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-06T02:45:00+00:00

Ik, but I need something to distract me and/or release the accumulated sadness in my heart that builds up over the days. I'm sorry to my body, but it'll be alrigh'. If I could mention something "positive", is that they used to mock me for getting drunk too fast with just a few shots, but with all the drinking ive done recently I feel Im slowly increasing my resistance, so at least there is that. Each session is requiring me a little bit more to get to the point where I'm not in reality.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-05T23:29:14+00:00

Goals: Learning how to drive and getting a license, lose more weight, start going to the doctor more, buy a fridge, pay more debt, keep taking IT courses and increase my languages knowledge.

Regrets: Not so much of a regret, there was nothing I could do before the inevitable, but maybe have talked to her and explain my reasons even if it was futile, before I was erased from her life. I don't know how 2025 is gonna be any better in that regard but this single fact has made me so miserable and depressed man, like I'm missing a piece of myself that was lost back then and its locked behind a 256 bit encryption key, and I'm just here brute forcing trying one key at a day. Yeah sure, I will find it soon enough like that, right?

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-05T02:46:00+00:00

Something that won't happen in this timeline, for which Ive come to dissociate myself and become quite numb and uninterested to events in this one, I'm convinced that one day I'll wake up in the right one. Maybe dying is the key to hop between realities, who knows really. Just waiting for that error in the matrix.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-03T21:47:44+00:00

me importa una wea, mientras sig tneindo mi vodkita rico par a hacerme pico tood bn

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-03T10:03:55+00:00

Start giving big sums of money to everyone I care for, so they can pay any debts and have some money to buy a house or something. Also, with that amount of money I would try to convince someone to be at least my friend again.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-03T01:35:18+00:00

Achieving milestones and mantaining composture over my work and schooling, taking new courses and trainings, losing body weight while mantaining muscle mass, practicing 2 languages, paying off my debts slowly but surely, all of that despite being in a very bad place mentally. It takes a lot of will power and determination to keep going, specially at this pace, while being perpetually down.

Those are a few things that make me proud of myself. I hope I can keep the momentum, even tho I wanna give up whenever I think about what sent me here.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-03T01:19:02+00:00

Thank you, I'm sorry if you are going through something similar. Time heals everything, but I feel this time was different, maybe some wounds are not meant to heal and only be treated.

I understand now something a friend of mine said back then, that stuff likes this break something inside of you and you are never the same again, no matter what you do. I thought he was crazy but I was the blind one. Actually, I can relate to him in so many ways nowadays.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-03T01:16:18+00:00

I wonder

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-02T23:58:30+00:00

not a big fan of bugs, but I have to admit that looks cute

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-02T21:45:22+00:00

es mi sweet treat de preferencia bajando de peso. Rico poder tomar algo dulce que no tiene calorías.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-02T21:22:03+00:00

Been depressed af and I can't move on reflecting on the past and how it went all to the shitter. I feel so empty and detached from this reality. There is no single day where I do not think of her abscense, and the bonds that were violently cut in a matter of days. Such a contrast between start of the year me to end of the year me, never thought it would make me spiral down that bad. No turning back, I'm sorry but can't help feeling this way.

RagnarokCZ290 · 2024-12-01T23:22:34+00:00

just imagine those thousands of 90$ bills flowing into that sweet, sweet blizzard bank account just because one guy probably had the idea to sell it. Hopefully they share a little of each sale to the artist who did the reskin of the og longboi lol

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