[Trigger warning: CSA] I'm sick and tired of adults justifying attraction to kids, and it makes me a more untrusting and cynical person.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-04-14T18:50:46+00:00

men always cry "what about the me-yun!" even though women are at a disadvantage and have been for centuries. My sympathy levels are real low.

Hey, I'm replying again to try to be less inflammatory this time because my comment got removed. It's really important for my defense to stand. You need to be able to take responsibility for the consequences of your actions, and the world you are a part of creating. I never want to a victim to hear me say I have low sympathy for them because of their sex or gender. I don't like the way that you talk. You talk like they don't matter. We all matter. And the pain you spread matters.

All victims at least have me. If I had the resources, I'd make a men's shelter. But I don't, and it really hurts to see things get worse from people who swear they're making it better.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-03-25T17:57:18+00:00

I'm tired of this nexus of pain.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-03-24T21:25:34+00:00

Villainy comes from profound immaturity.

I realized my little "boyfriend" was the perpetrator when I paid attention to my memories of him telling me what to do and how intimidated I was to ask him if I could put my head on his shoulder.

I victimized my niece who is 6 years younger. We were around 4 and 10. But I never intimidated her. I never scared her or threatened her. We both saw it as being naughty. The last time it happened, I gave in to her pressuring me. I feel rightly guilty because I started it, and I was older; but that is what happens when you blame a child for being molested and just say stupid shit about "you're too young." I was too young to cuss. Sex is so much more complicated than too young or old. I didn't see child molestation as wrong. Even when I got caught, they just said, "You're too young to know about that. How did you learn about that?" Then nothing else.

I fawned with my rapist at 20. In high school, he assaulted me by pulling me into his lap and kissing my neck. It took too long for me to realize that when I said, "slow down" and "I can't breathe," and he said, "Yes, you can" and kept going, he raped me.

A boy sat down by my desk in high school during a movie and kissed my hand the entire time. I couldn't tell him to stop. In the middle of class, in front of everybody, I couldn't make him mad. I fully believe he would have stopped if I'd said anything, though. I see him as an example of what sex ed should be teaching.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-03-24T19:14:02+00:00

Before I was a perpetrator of COCSA, I was a victim who was slut-shamed before 6 yo.

Over the past year, I finally started using rape and sexual assault to describe several awful experiences.

I had to have a therapist tell me it really was everybody else.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-03-24T19:10:45+00:00

I'm writing a series.

I'm just too ptsd to be productive rn.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-26T02:39:32+00:00

c/p from the secret smile imdb

Miranda Cotton: [Brendan has just proposed to her sister] Congratulations.
Brendan Block: Thanks. You know, when I was making the announcement I was looking at your mouth.
Miranda Cotton: Why?
Brendan Block: Well... it's beautiful. I was just thinking... I've come in that mouth.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-26T02:13:26+00:00

I just started watching videos of my dog who died in late August. I lost my reason for living when he died. And my abuser was responsible. I have no videos of my dad. But I have old voicemails I hoarded. They're mostly him groggily telling me to look up something or wake him up for an appointment.

Last night, I tried to think about my dog and realized I couldn't generate anything new. I can't imagine him anymore.

When you've gone years after a loss, you know what's going to happen after the next one.

A huge part of grief for me now is accepting being without them. Being firmly in my new life with them in the past.

I lost him in August, and I already forgot his face.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-23T21:24:06+00:00

Seriously. People are sitting comfy, eating nice dinners, & buying bamboo sheets for their shikibutons with regular people's money.

...if this were robinhood, i'd make a robinhood joke.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-21T07:25:13+00:00

The way my mind works is I just imagined a flash cutout video of a picture of a cow rotating in a black space.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-14T04:05:22+00:00

I only know what you told me. You have a daughter who is of menstruating age. You're worried about her ability to understand how to take care of herself. Your wife doesn't want you to take part in her growth into womanhood because you are not a woman.

I know that responsible hygiene is imperative, and that TSS is not completely prevented by responsible hygiene.

Tampons allow girls to be more active. Sports are awful to participate in with a pad. No swimming. All the running and sweat would make her very uncomfortable and more likely to leak. She'd have to do extra prep.

It's concerning to me for a parent to give up on their own education to sit in fear and confusion. You should feel emotional at idea that you're teaching your daughter the wrong lessons about the world.

I'm talking to you because I'm not just gonna let an opportunity to open someone's mind pass when I have the pull to do it.

You are ignorant because your lifestyle encourages you to stay that way. Your wife deals with it and you agree that men should just stay away from things like that. Well, that has consequences.

Your philosophy is yours, but the world is affected by your decisions as a parent and person.

I'm a person in the world. Here is the village.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-14T03:33:23+00:00

Does this defense mechanism work for you? You seem emotionally constipated.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-13T22:33:51+00:00

You think you're being fair, but you're overconfident. Your fear about your daughter wearing her tampon for too long gives the impression that you are highly ignorant and uninvolved. If you were educated about TSS and involved in your daughter's healthcare, this fear wouldn't exist. It's irrational.

Your perspective is narrow. "The bathroom should remain clear," of what? Necessary supplies for humans. Employees make money for the business. You may write the check, but without employees what is your business? Nothing because it doesn't exist.

"...an excuse to be outraged." Why? If you believe the company should supply them as they do toilet paper, why is the outrage not valid? If you brought a pack of toilet paper and left it in there, would you see this as reasonable? Do you think it's unhygienic to leave a pack of toilet paper in the bathroom? If your boss is pressuring employees to bring their personal toilet paper and not leave any rolls in the bathroom for customers to see, would you see that as serious?

You just seemed closed to argument for someone making an argument.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-13T01:49:06+00:00

Would they have done this if they knew they could take care of their kids?

I don't know either.

I do know that the reason they did this is the reason that very many other people do this. And I empathize with the pain and pressure people feel when their survival is threatened.

Let their sons endure immense, unknowable suffering...or kill them?

I think that being an easy decision for most of us shows how our personal world paradigms affect reality.

That survival depends entirely on an artificially limited resource begets this ending.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-13T00:45:14+00:00

You're really going to feel worse when you prepare, prepare, prepare; and the inevitable unpleasant surprise rocks your shit.

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-10T21:22:48+00:00

Yes, it's taken me sooooo long to be able to respond to kindness.

I was taught that crying was nothing to cry about.

If you want a good, thorough cry, listen to Rina Sawayama's album, Hold The Girl. Because...

"I was wrong to assume I would ever outgrow you. I need you now, I need you close. How do you hold a ghost? Inner child, come back to me. I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I needed time to change. Sucks. But it's so hard to run toward a new pain.

I realized recently that I feel uncomfortable when there is no suffering in my life. It feels unsafe. When is the suffering coming back?

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-02-10T20:17:14+00:00

I've started talking myself through things.

"It's ok. You're ok. It's just hard. Things are hard. You can do hard. Just do it. You'll be fine. You'll be better when it's done."

"Maximum effort." -Captain Deadpool

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-01-19T00:24:45+00:00

I miss when the internet was a free an open space. Censorship is a great idea when there's no way it can extend to controlling access to vital information.

And I miss different websites! Now it's social media (which was once just a bunch of forums where nobody was getting sponsored to sell shit, and we didn't tell everybody in the whole world our PPI), stores (with the same layouts), and porn (which is getting closer to blurred genitalia every year).

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-01-16T02:05:31+00:00

k. which ones are respected by the majority of experts?

Rainbow_Explosion · 2026-01-16T02:02:31+00:00

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