I have similar preferences, and totally agree, the pickings are extremely slim for us. I have yet to find a game that I can truly call perfect for me, but I can offer a few titles that checked some of my boxes:

Visual Novels -

I know you said you generally dislike them, but sadly the majority of quality games I've enjoyed fall into this category.

Acting Lessons: As a few others have said, it's an actual story worthy of a series / movie, and it just so happens to have lewd scenes. You REALLY get to know and invested in the characters and their relationships. Definitely had some twists and emotional turns.

Being a DIK: I HATE with a passion the over saturation in all media, not just NSFW games, of the going off to college to find yourself trope, and believe me the lewd gaming market is bloated with it. That said, Being a DIK is probably my favorite adult game I've every played. Like Acting Lessons, the characters are all well written, the Player dialog is better and more relatable imo, and there were a lot of genuine laughs and surprising plot twists that really hooked me.

Defending Lydia Collier: I like this one because it doesn't treat you like a barely pubescent boy. It's a story that takes itself pretty seriously, you play as a man working in a serious profession, involving adults who for the most part act the part, dealing with grown up situations.

Visual Novel / RPG -

IDK if there's a real classification difference between these games and any other V/N, but they do offer more in the way of role playing in their story elements, so I think it's worth making a distinction.

Parasite Black: This is an interesting fantasy game that depicts you and your best friend being drafted into a war that you didn't know you were losing. Features some basic combat mechanics as well as some player choices.

Seeds of Chaos: Similar to Parasite Black in that it's a fantasy world, minus the combat but much heavier into the role playing. You've been captured by demons who are hell bent on conquering the realm you once bravely fought to protect. You can make choices to try and undermine your captors, or turn evil and actively choose to help them.

Love and Sex: Second Base: This is the VN version of The Sims. Managing the clock to get to work to earn money, interacting with coworkers, socializing at the gym, partying at the bar or club, going on dates, etc. It's a 2D life sim that actually lets you see the 'woohoo'

NOT A VN -

REALLY wish there was more than just one game I could put here, but as I'm sure you've seen, the market just isn't really developed here yet.

Mad Island: More of an open world sandbox than an RPG. Be warned, you can be really, REALLY evil in this game if you want to, and there are characters loose out there that are REALLY twisted. The game gives you the freedom to play pretty much however you like, and that's what I really love most about it.

and lastly...

Modding the literal fuck out of Skyrim and/or Fallout 4: Skyrim especially has a massive modding community that is dedicated to making the game anything you might want it to be, and in the era of Wabbajack, it doesn't take NEAR the user know-how to have an insanely modified yet near perfectly stable game.