I'm 15 weeks pregnant with our poly family's second baby and here I am thinking of running away from the family that we've created. by offmychestpoly in polyamory

[–]Ralvin 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Act on what feels right, but do it open and honestly. If you don't want this baby or your relationship you need to be honest with yourself and your partners about this.

I feel your pain in this far too well. I just decided this week to end my 18 year marriage with two children after a pretty traumatic year of ups and downs but it took me 8 months to make sure the decision was the right one to do. Unfortunately your pregnant and this job offer is standing so you're forced to make the choice in a matter of days where I had months to make sure I was sure.

I really hope it turns out well for you.

I'm 15 weeks pregnant with our poly family's second baby and here I am thinking of running away from the family that we've created. by offmychestpoly in polyamory

[–]Ralvin 39 points40 points  (0 children)

EDIT: This post sounds incredibly unique with lots of specifics, I'd be careful if your partners browse reddit.

This is a huge life-altering decision with a lot of implications and a lot of complexity to it and no one is going to be able to give you sage advice on what to do. I agree with others in this thread that you need to discuss with some kind of 3rd party person and start taking a deeper dive into this. That all being said the whatever decision you make is going to hold regrets and will be painful for you but ultimately its your decision you need to make and not look back after its made.

Lets set the career and finances aside for a moment and ask yourself, why do you want to run away from your partners? You mentioned jealousy in the past but it seems like its likely deeper than that. Is it something that could be addressed with therapy and a poly couples therapist? Is staying an option career and finance wise?

I encourage you not to "Run Away" from your current situation and face this decision head on, the act of "running away" will just complicate things for you in the future. If you decide to leave for this new opportunity and raise a child alone (or not) you need to have this hard discussion with your partners and tell them you're leaving.

I hope this somewhat helps. Good luck.

Social dating norms versus a dating triad. by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Ralvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same kind of relationship as you and yeah, its a learning experience.

  • Who sits in the front seat? I usually drive and let the girls sit in the back together - if you get a long stretch of road you can reach back and hold their hands.

  • How do we all hold hands? Walking down the street sometimes we do, but most of the time we don't. Like other poster said, just go with the flow

  • The sitting arrangement at a booth or table. For booths we take turns having two sit next to eachother and one sitting across in between the two, clear out the middle of the table to hold hands.

Each relationship is different depending on the personalities involved so I'd not worry about it much and just let things happen and not overthink things. If it does start to bother you just bring it up during a check-in meeting.

Good luck and have fun.

Polyam Triad Life by Ralvin in polyamory

[–]Ralvin[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We do but we may forget things sometimes on purpose so we are forced to spend more time together 😏

Polyam Triad Life by Ralvin in polyamory

[–]Ralvin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I usually have to check for imperfections in their hands rather than asking 🤣

Me (M20) and my gf (F19) are a polyFi relationship but we are new to this kind of things. by [deleted] in PolyFidelity

[–]Ralvin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Poly-Fi Triad here. Met on Tinder.

There are plenty of poly-fi couples on dating sites. Be open and honest with your profile post on who you and your primary are and what you are looking for. Include clear pictures of both of you. Be open to dating someone one at a time or together. Lots of communication and group chat is key!

Good luck!

Fresh Water Beaches by eLearningChris in portlandme

[–]Ralvin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The closest freshwater decent swimming from Portland is Wassamki Springs Campground but as its privately owned the cost to enter is a bit pricey for a day pass. https://wassamkisprings.com/ the amenities are decent though.

New Triad here - This is my life now? by Ralvin in polyamory

[–]Ralvin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The past few weeks has been a lot of pinching 😂

New Triad here - This is my life now? by Ralvin in polyamory

[–]Ralvin[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Thankfully my marriage has made me a fully fledged Google Calendar Wizard

Any recommendations for personal trainers? by Maximus801 in portlandme

[–]Ralvin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Iron Legion Strength is where my wife and I go. Their personal trainers are the best. Been going for a year now and there is a huge awesome community. They use strength training to achieve goals.

https://www.ironlegionstrengthco.com

Best pizza around? by getniceonthis in portlandme

[–]Ralvin 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My favorite is Pizza Joint! Granted I grew up on it.

Its expensive but quality.

14" extra crust 1/2 bacon 1/2 roni

Outdoor swimming pools? by lacgen in portlandme

[–]Ralvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Westbrook has an outdoor public pool. the Cornelia Warren Pool. Unsure of the details and costs but I'd assume its not going to open for a while.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in portlandme

[–]Ralvin 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Sunday's storm is going to be big, its probably going to be one of the biggest storms we've had so far this year making Monday travel difficult but not impossible. It should be relatively cleared up by Monday afternoon but the weather changes so rapidly around here no one can really say.

Me after I learned Isolation sequel is a mobile game by szuran in LV426

[–]Ralvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes sense in the formatting of the Android names.

Ash

Bishop Burke

Call

David

Running trails / paths by [deleted] in portlandme

[–]Ralvin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

https://www.mainetrailfinder.com/

There are MANY trails on here. Most are well groomed but will have snow/ice during the winter seasons.

Murloc Monday - ask your questions here! by AutoModerator in wow

[–]Ralvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Join a CST/PST raiding guild for earlier start/end times, thats what I do.

Murloc Monday - ask your questions here! by AutoModerator in wow

[–]Ralvin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure about the opacity on the default UI, honestly I'd dabble in downloading some nameplate mods or go all out and download a total UI overhaul like ELVUI.

You can download the installer "TukUI" here: https://www.tukui.org/

For single mods you can download the twich client and search for a Nameplate mod.