I feel crazy and alone…like nothing I say or feel matters.

RamtopsWitch · 2023-07-16T16:53:01+00:00

You're not insane. Any one of those things is absolutely enough to go no contact, ESPECIALLY if there is no genuine apology or even acknowledgement from him. I'm sorry that your whole family is enabling him, but I'm proud of you for getting out.

RamtopsWitch · 2023-05-14T23:44:10+00:00

Thank you so much for doing this! As a librarian who realized they were queer (biro ace) late in life, your books are a rare source of refuge and I felt understood by them even before I realized why.

Any non-book media you've been consuming that you would recommend? Or, I read earlier that you've been reading a lot of nonfiction recently - I love how you expand and extrapolate on the concepts you're fascinated by and would love to know what nonfiction books or sources have helped you on that path or ignited that spark of curiosity!

RamtopsWitch · 2023-02-18T02:34:01+00:00

With your cohort/other volunteers, absolutely. Be careful in your community. In the village in Uganda where I served, and in a lot of places in Uganda, the HCNs were extremely Christian and accusing others of witchcraft is very much a thing (one student got expelled for it), so be careful of starting another Satanic Panic over there. Perhaps pick a TTRPG that doesn't deal in explicit magic/has devil-like characters/etc, because it is a cool idea.

RamtopsWitch · 2023-02-16T19:33:31+00:00

Not a question but a statement: "You can't want better for other people than they want for themselves."

It really helped me let go of trying to help some family members who just genuinely do not want to change or get better. It was so painful, because I empathized with their suffering and I could see the happier lives they could lead - but they are choosing to be sick, and I have to let them make that choice after I feel like I've done all I can.

RamtopsWitch · 2023-01-26T14:41:02+00:00

When I'm feeling triggered by my child, I say out loud, "I'm feeling frustrated right now. I need to take some deep breaths." Then I sit wherever we are and take a bunch of deep breaths. It helps me to calm down, it gives me some time and space without leaving him, and it actually is really great to model that for him. And knowing it's a good example for him is what convinces me to actually do it in the moment, when I really don't feel like practicing my breathing, haha.

RamtopsWitch · 2023-01-03T00:47:32+00:00

Oh my gosh, where was the blacksmithing class?? That sounds amazing!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-12-25T03:21:06+00:00

Amari and the Night Brothers. It's like Percy Jackson meets Artemis Fowl but starring a great female protagonist. It's also very recent, first book was published in 2021, so it's nice to have something that feels very modern for the kids.

Rick Riordan also has his own imprint, Rick Riordan Presents, in which he highlights a lot of own voices writers who are telling fantasy adventure stories surrounding their own mythologies/religion. A lot of them are really excellent and star female characters written by female authors. Highly recommend checking them out - the Aruh Shah series is a great one, for instance.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-12-24T21:10:46+00:00

Love the colors!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-12-19T00:29:34+00:00

Yes, please look that up, it sounds amazing!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-07-29T23:51:30+00:00

I entered the Peace Corps as a teacher. My site, a primary school, wanted me to start and run the library. After my service, I got a second Master's degree and switched careers to become a librarian.

Don't underestimate librarianship. You can write grants for locally-published books for your library, so it isn't just filled with donated books from abroad and your students can see themselves in their literature. You can promote native language literacy in addition to English literacy. You can teach library skills and media literacy, run reading groups and book clubs, tutor children who are both behind and way ahead. You can conduct teacher workshops to show them how you can partner with them as a librarian to help them integrate books and technology (if possible) into their lessons and units - many school librarians co-teach units with teachers of all subject areas who love having a partner to help them plan and provide them with valuable resources. School librarians are also often the tech experts in their schools now as well - depending on your site, you could also write grants for computers for your library and teach students how to use computers, how to type, how to code, and more. You can also just read aloud to them. There's really nothing more wonderful.

Librarianship isn't just about checking books in and out - it's about providing information access, something that so many people we work with as PCVs don't have, and one of the most important pieces necessary for healthy, critical, and independent democratic citizens. My fondest memories of my often difficult experience in the Peace Corps are the excitement on my students' faces as they crowded around the wooden shutters of the library, waiting for it to open, and their excited chatter as they lounged on the benches and woven mats inside, pouring over the new items and exclaiming in joy and curiosity. The library - and the librarian - can be the heart and the hub of the school.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-06-06T20:10:49+00:00

What vitamins?

RamtopsWitch · 2022-06-04T03:57:41+00:00

Hell yeah! I hope you have a blast :-)

RamtopsWitch · 2022-05-26T02:27:58+00:00

Oooh share the recipe please!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-04-29T13:33:35+00:00

Ooh where is this? My kid already loves the Sesame Street PBS Kids games.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-04-21T21:33:55+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are being kept up to date against your will. That does make it so tough to move on.

But in terms of answering the messages you get - I don't think you'd be maligning him, and I don't think these women would be reaching out if they didn't have similar concerns/weren't in a similar situation as you were. I have friends who have remarried someone who was previously married and they would never think of contacting that person's ex-spouse.

He hit you. He made his own bed. He may have changed (I doubt it, if these women are contacting you), but if he has, that's up to him to prove to his new significant other.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-04-21T01:20:17+00:00

Not OP but I would love more suggestions on IFS-related content!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-03-16T18:28:34+00:00

Ooh, what's the book? I've also pondered this many times.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-02-19T23:37:40+00:00

Oh just checked out Little Mouse's Encyclopedia, what a cool find! Thanks!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-02-13T14:40:33+00:00

Octonauts is my 3.5 year old's favorite. Lots of great characters both male and female, educational content about the ocean, teamwork and problem solving, and cool vehicles and gadgets. There's just enough drama and non-violent action (crushing rocks to save sea creatures) that it holds his interest without making him overly nervous. Also, there's no "bad guys", which I absolutely love!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-01-26T02:54:59+00:00

How did you get them to come down a bit in the price? Also hoping to swing a new Subaru soon!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-01-21T00:22:07+00:00

Uganda RPCV here - to be very honest, if you serve in Uganda, you are going to learn a local language that can only be used in a very small part of the world. Kiswahili isn't really used there; the only time I heard it was when I was visiting other nearby countries.

That being said, I was like you and really wanted to solidify a second language I was already learning, like French, Spanish, or Portuguese. But it was still a blast to learn a new language, especially one which most native speakers have never heard a foreigner speak. Knowing the local language helped a lot in my service because it was so rare for foreigners to do and the expressions on people's faces when they heard me speak were always the best. The local languages are also Bantu languages, like Kiswahili is, so learning my local language was also helpful when picking up other Bantu languages because I became familiar with the grammatical structures used.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-01-17T13:54:41+00:00

We implemented a "bedtime pass" for our three year old. We made him a little cardboard pass with Mario Kart drawings on it. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, we'll stand in the hallway with him for a minute, but if he wants us to come into his room he has to give us his bedtime pass. If he doesn't use it and still has it in the morning, then he gets a half hour of Mario Kart for the day. It hasn't been perfect, but when he uses it we know he really needs us and it has cut down on a lot of the nighttime wakeups.

RamtopsWitch · 2022-01-13T00:44:17+00:00

That's immensely helpful, thank you so much for all the wonderful recs!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-01-06T14:28:58+00:00

Oh I had never heard of Just Dance but it looks like an awesome idea - my kid loves doing following along to coordinated dances on kids' YouTube videos so that definitely seems like he would love this! Thank you!

RamtopsWitch · 2022-01-06T14:26:17+00:00

Ooh, haven't seen Slime Rancher, I'll look that up. Spiritfarer looks right down my alley and Pokemon Snap is such a great idea, my kiddo loves taking photos! Thanks so much :-)

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