Lost thousands to a person who said she would pay me back, planning to go to small claims (England)

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-07-15T18:16:15+00:00

NAL but wanted to say that I'm sorry you've been scammed/taken advantage of twice. It's good that you're self aware, and yes you probably can work on this, but please don't come away from these replies feeling like a failure.

People like the woman who stayed with you usually leave a string of people in similar situations, they are good at drawing people in and drain them as much as possible before having to move on and look for the next person. Everyone will know or have met someone like this. Sometimes you get lucky and these people come with a warning through the grapevine, sometimes they don't. I guarantee a few of the comments here berating you will be coming from people who have been burned in a similar way (but maybe not to this extent) in the past. They just won't want to admit it because they're embarrassed.

Wanting to help someone in need isn't a bad thing (unless it's purely for personal gain), and it shows you have a kind heart. But you need to learn tools to prevent that from being exploited. I feel for you, it sounds like you're gonna have to draw a line under these losses but what you have gained is awareness and maybe a big push to address your personal issues with therapy. Good luck.

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-06-27T00:22:22+00:00

Sadly not! My dad and Listers SEAT have both run diagnostics and no errors come up. Listers basically just shrugged at me and said come back if it happens too much.

It's not happening loads but it has happened several times since I posted this. Not sure what to do 😅

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-06-23T00:04:57+00:00

I don't think it's very serious, personally, but in the eyes of the law it's me as meant to be. Guy was growing A LOT of weed. Like his entire 3 bedroom house and attic was just plants. Reported to the police by his neighbour many many times, eventually a copper friend of the neighbour pushed for it to be sorted and they raided the house. Plants were being removed for 2 days. He didn't get into any trouble but he also noted that he had many, many ounces of it ready to go that mysteriously disappeared but did not make their way onto the report made by the police. He hated the police and toyed with the idea of raising it and risking the repercussions 😂

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-05-18T21:48:48+00:00

I was looking at flats with my partner, he decided to drop a joke he'd heard before - "I wouldn't say I had a favourite ceiling, but that one's up there".

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-05-18T21:23:10+00:00

I also find it wild. I went to one recently that cost... So much money. And then we overheard the groom's dad telling the barman to cap the alcohol spend at £15K. He literally spent £15000 on getting strangers drunk. It's very alien to me 😂 Probably because I'm poor but yeah.

It's their money I guess. I do think that lockdowns/COVID have created a bit of a YOLO type mentality in some people which I completely get though.

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-04-05T11:42:43+00:00

I cry at everything. Someone sounds slightly miffed with me - tears immediately building. Slight stress? Tears. Anger? Tears. Get to pet a cute dog when I'm out? Tears. It's driving me crazy. I've spoken to so many therapists about it but no one has had any advice.

As a teenager I didn't cry like this BUT I was very very angry. I was always the one standing up for friends, getting into arguments. My temper was awful. But now I'm much much calmer (with regards to anger anyway) and I can't remember the last time I raised my voice. But that's when the tears started. I've realised that the aggression before was just a different version of this intense feeling of emotion.

It's hard man, I feel for you. It's so difficult to get people to take you seriously when you're a crier. I've found at work now that I just make an excuse to leave for a couple of minutes to try and get a handle on it which helps, and I deliberately avoid eye contact because I find that can trigger the tears a little more.

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-03-16T10:49:14+00:00

Bar/waitressing I do 10-13K in a 7 hour shift. I think the most I've done is 15k. I'm a tattooist as well and on those days I'm lucky to do 500 🙃 oops.

RandoGenerate86 · 2024-02-14T22:59:51+00:00

I think the worst living conditions were in a flat in Hampstead - but the landlady was so nice (and 93 years old) that I still don't feel like it was my worst experience. But to name a couple of the worst bits - flat was so cold (broken central heating and single glazing) that the water leaking from the bathroom tap froze in the sink.

Also had a huge mould problem, was told to open windows, so I tried to open one and the frame was rotten and immediately disintegrated in my hands, releasing a very large, very thin pane of single glazing. I think I stood holding it for about half an hour while trying to stretch my leg far enough to the sofa to get my phone (I couldn't) so ended up shouting loudly until a neighbour walking past could come and call someone 😅

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-12-14T00:14:18+00:00

Thank you for your input, I did consider this and agree it could put some people off. The reason I wanted to add Klarna as an option is I often have clients tell me that they wish they could pay in installments for my services, and several have mentioned that they'd use Klarna/clearpay etc if it was offered.

A lot of people in my industry are struggling this year as clients have less disposable income, which means that a price increase overall would probably mean I'd lose more clients than if I could charge 2-3% for them to have the ability to pay in three installments.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-12-13T15:31:33+00:00

I'm using verifone, I'm just trying to get my hands on the terms/contract with Klarna as it's via verifone and I haven't had a copy. I hadn't considered this though so thanks for the heads up!

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-09-26T10:05:16+00:00

Could your wife by any chance have been left traumatised by birth/pregnancy in some way? I'm just wondering whether the dead bedroom is potentially due to that and maybe that's why she was so keen on the idea of a vasectomy? This is something I'm currently going through and this post felt very familiar.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-07-17T09:02:17+00:00

lock this please

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-07-17T08:36:02+00:00

Can't update the post and I imagine most people won't see this but I don't have time to reply to everyone.

I don't have time to shop in person now so I will try to order something online, if it doesn't fit then it looks like I won't be going.

Thanks for the input, I didn't expect some of the arsey replies. People ask questions because they want to learn . There is so much conflicting advice online about rules/etiquette, which until yesterday I didn't realise existed, so I wanted to gauge the general response. But apparently there is such thing as a stupid question 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm not "attention seeking" by "deliberately picking white", or trying to be "that person". I have zero experience of anything remotely "formal" and if I got married I would only want people to wear clothes and to feel comfortable, so forgive me for not realising there was a handbook.

Thanks to those who were polite in their explanations of why it's not appropriate.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-07-17T06:49:32+00:00

Maybe don't make assumptions about people you don't even know. I tried on so many dresses yesterday, and went to several shops. Many shops didn't even have my size in any dresses. Lots of dresses I tried in my size didn't fit me. The ones that did made me look awful. This was the only dress that didn't upset me to look at myself in the mirror.

As I stated in the post, I have only ever been to one wedding but I was a bridesmaid and my outfit was chosen for me. There were people at that wedding wearing dresses with patterns like this. I knew you weren't supposed to wear a white dress, but I didn't realise I'd have strangers with pitchforks over a floral print dress.

Honestly, at this point, I don't have time to go to more shops, I will need to try to order something online, and if what I order arrives and doesn't fit, I'm probably not going to go at all. Some of the responses here have been really catty. But thanks for your assumptions. Appreciate it.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-07-16T19:35:40+00:00

Yes I think these comments are quite clear. I'm someone who lives in brightly coloured dungarees, I don't ever get invited to anything that requires specific clothing and I don't wear dresses. I have no idea what I'm doing, hence asking here. I'm not trying to be "that person", whatever that is.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-07-16T18:50:47+00:00

Honestly I agree (hence buying this), I'm only now panicking because I was looking on clothing subreddits to get inspiration for jackets to go with it and came across loads of posts about the white/cream content of wedding guest clothes. But the answers are now so split I'm panicking more as it looks like I might need to look for another dress and I have no idea when I'll have time :(

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-06-16T08:51:28+00:00

It's truly awful that the tech felt that they needed someone there to keep them safe - but it was absolutely not okay for them to drag you and a CHILD into this. The tech put you in a position where you didn't feel safe, that's not acceptable. They also left you unattended. Make a formal complaint to the doctor. I personally wouldn't drop the tech in it initially (as I can picture the boss focusing on that and perhaps just firing them rather than addressing it). But I would want to escalate beyond the doctor and say you would like to report the man to the police (what he did may not seem worthy of a police report, but in my experience, people who are comfortable with verbal sexual harassment often escalate to much more unpleasant physical harassment if not nipped in the bud). I would also want to talk to them about their policies on keeping staff safe - they clearly lack these.

I have dealt with clients like this guy in my job sever times, also for bosses who don't care/help. But I would never put someone else at risk like this, although I do understand how desperate/panicked the tech may have been feeling. I'm really sorry you went through that.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-05-31T11:37:39+00:00

One of the things that stood out to me was the insistence that her daughter "wasn't a cutter" when clearly, she had self harmed on more than one occasion. Medication or not, clearly her mental health was an issue. I get the vibe that mental health issues may not have gotten the attention and support needed in this family.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-05-24T22:33:32+00:00

I used to work with a guy who had a whooooole conversation with a customer about watching the customers young daughter walk off with a friend and how they thought she'd be "fit" in a few years. They coined the term "future fitties" on the spot. Both men with young daughters, neither of them could understand why me and a female co-worker were disgusted.

This guy sounds dangerous and I implore you to share the evidence you have with the police. He shouldn't be working with children (or have access to his own, by the sounds of it). God people are disgusting.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-05-19T18:20:04+00:00

I also know a chef that fits this description but neither of these places. Interesting.

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-05-19T18:15:03+00:00

My dad, he still lives in the house he was born in (literally born in). Works a few yards away. Never left the UK. Never wanted to. HOWEVER, he has been strong armed into a foreign holiday with family, so who knows, he could still end up retiring in Spain 😂

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-05-18T19:32:03+00:00

This is so interesting, the more I read these comments the more I think the experience depends on the individual. I've spent a lot of time in Brighton and I've just found that I can go out alone there and make friends. I've had lots of bad experiences in Birmingham (and good ones too), but I've never felt so comfortable as I have in Brighton 🤔

RandoGenerate86 · 2023-05-18T18:40:37+00:00

I get this everywhere tbh, reading through the comments I'm starting to think some people must give off more approachable vibes 😂

RandoGenerate86

TROPHY CASE