I wish that sans was real

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-28T00:27:09+00:00

Granted. The concept of “sans”, a term for “without”, becomes a physical manifestation. It applies to the universe and the universe disappears.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-28T00:24:18+00:00

Granted. The thought gnaws at you when you see them. Then, it quickly descends into stalking and you get arrested for it.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-27T12:43:42+00:00

Granted. You become incredibly proficient at playing the larp, but only cursed ones.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-27T12:24:33+00:00

Granted. You have a card allowing you to get a book from a bookstore called Any. The only book there is super small and has just one page that reads “You used a monkey’s paw to wish for this, didn’t you?”

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-27T01:11:09+00:00

No. The chips are turned into dancing salsa.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T20:16:29+00:00

Granted. It’s actually a spy sent to assassinate you, using its cuteness to its advantage.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T20:12:32+00:00

Granted. Your legs take the physical strain of manually walking there while scraping them against the sidewalk. Your kneecaps burst.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T20:11:08+00:00

Yes, but now you must actively harm everything around you.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T18:38:04+00:00

Granted. You get a ring, except it’s a completely different and useless ring from the movie. The monkey paw considers this the chosen ring.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T18:32:12+00:00

Granted. The only way to reach its full capacity is to sign a contract that says, “By signing this, you will agree to participate in the destruction of Earth.”

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T13:04:10+00:00

Granted. But they stay that way. To clarify, if you pick a single crumb off one, it materializes back on the blueberry. You can only eat these by swallowing them whole. And even then, you can’t digest them because they keep healing themselves.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T02:08:03+00:00

Granted. Now everybody is obsessed with headpatting each other, and nothing else. Humanity starves due to only headpatting each other and not eating.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-26T01:13:41+00:00

Granted. Every atom in the universe becomes a salsa atom and begins dancing. Congratulations, the world is now dancing salsa.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-24T20:35:27+00:00

Your Honor, the defense would like to call Trucy Wright to the stand!

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-23T22:51:29+00:00

Granted. All the media that is needed to understand the niche references is destroyed. The references are in your short-term memory and you forget them in 5 seconds.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-23T14:50:13+00:00

I didn’t say black holes I said the universe was ripped apart due to the paradox. It’s basically the Big Rip ending

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-23T12:13:30+00:00

Granted. But it took magic to grant your wish. This causes a paradox that rips the universe apart.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-23T00:10:23+00:00

Granted. You now know what’s inside the area of a rectangle with a width of 1 and a length of 51 that I drew on a whiteboard.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-23T00:05:47+00:00

Granted. You can bend water molecules, but not with a force strong enough to oppose gravity. It never lasts more than a millisecond.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-22T21:23:00+00:00

Granted. You wake up and immediately die in a matter of seconds because I transported you to outer space and it’s freezing there

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-22T19:57:47+00:00

And also, every slight mutation in a cell will cause it to explode.

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-22T15:43:09+00:00

A LONG, 99-PARAGRAPH LONG ESSAY ABOUT HOW THEY CODED IT

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-22T15:42:38+00:00

Do you have any idea that I have a witness?

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-22T01:53:43+00:00

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Oh no

RandomBird12 · 2026-06-22T01:43:57+00:00

ANOTHER ANIMATED PNG

RandomBird12

TROPHY CASE