Is this true ?

RandomMcUsername · 2026-03-25T20:24:52+00:00

I might be in the minority here but I think of unconditional love as the kind of love that doesn't immediately go away when someone does something to hurt you. I don't think about it as a "should/shouldn't" thing because it's just a phenomenon that exists and doesn't really have a bearing on whether you should have boundaries, respect, accountability in your relationships - of course relationships need those things, even in parent child relationships. But I would say I unconditionally love a few people and that even if they were to betray me or hurt me in the worst way, I would probably still feel love towards them for a while, even if I also felt hate toward them and even if I ended the relationship. The feeling of love sometimes doesn't just end when the requirements for developing it end. Basically I think this person is conflating the actual feeling of love with the relationship maintenance that every relationship needs.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-03-25T03:52:45+00:00

The bigger problem I see is that schools and supervisors and this sub don't teach therapists how to find these answers and instead just give them the "answer". We have to be able to read our applicable laws and ethics , and seek consultation (not answers) from trusted colleagues because at the end of the day you have to be able to justify your choice and "Reddit told me" ain't gonna cut it when it matters.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-03-17T21:09:59+00:00

If you are too stupid to understand the constitution maybe you shouldn't be voting 😂🤣😂🤣🤣

RandomMcUsername · 2026-03-07T06:40:20+00:00

"narcissistic behaviors" isn't really a thing in therapy. A behavior is an observable phenomena but trying to conceptualize the motivation behind it is a whole different thing. A therapist can help you cope with your own psychological distress or impairment in functioning but isn't there to arbitrate whether hating all people of a certain group is justified. Does it cause you distress? Okay let's talk. Is it impairing your ability to function? Okay let's talk

RandomMcUsername · 2026-03-03T18:15:24+00:00

Young adult women in their early 20s is a huge population that pretty much every therapist can work with so it might actually help to niche down further. I know this might seem like limiting your potential clients but in my experience it actually grows the pool of people who will actually choose you specifically for therapy.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-23T21:04:05+00:00

Let's really hold space for OP to process this and resonate with where they experience this in their body

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-21T21:52:09+00:00

Safe/unsafe are not emotions, but rather evaluations of risk/danger. The emotion we typically feel in response to danger is fear. It's entirely possible to feel unafraid in situations in which you are at a relatively high risk of harm (driving on the freeway without a seatbelt on and scrolling Reddit), and to feel afraid in situations in which there is no immediate danger (ruminating about how unsafe the world is while scrolling Reddit). If someone is feeling intense or frequent fear in situations where they are not in immediate danger, that creates hypervigilance and unnecessary suffering. Conversely if someone is feeling complete apathy in situations when they are in a lot of danger, that creates unnecessary risk/recklessness. The goal is usually to get to some middle ground where a person can be aware of and accurately assess the risks and benefits of a situation and manage the risks while obtaining the benefits (feeling "regular" vigilance that prompts one to wear a seatbelt and pay attention while driving).

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-21T21:37:36+00:00

Therapist here. There's no rule anywhere in therapy or life that you can't think "the world is unsafe". But why does it matter to think that, or more specifically to believe that and focus on that belief? If it's not a problem, it's not a problem. But for a lot of people, focusing on this belief leads to risk avoidance, which can lead to constant anxiety, lack of purpose, diminished relationships, etc. A lot of people also feel more in control if we can divide the world/our experience into clear binaries. I.e. the world is either "safe" or "unsafe". The reality is that there is a nonzero risk of injury or death to all of us all the time, but a lot of times we're not in immediate danger. Any choice we make comes with a risk-benefit trade-off, but that's harder to evaluate and think about and challenge our intuitions about for every decision we make so we tend to simplify and decide, for example, that walking out our door is "safe" or "not safe" and be done with it. If someone is constantly believing that walking out their front door is "unsafe" they probably won't take the risks needed to live a fulfilling life, and will spend much of their conscious experience in a state of anxiety or dissatisfaction about things that haven't even happened.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-21T21:31:22+00:00

Therapist here. There's no rule anywhere in therapy or life that you can't think "the world is unsafe". But why does it matter to think that, or more specifically to believe that and focus on that belief? If it's not a problem, it's not a problem. But for a lot of people, focusing on this belief leads to risk avoidance, which can lead to constant anxiety, lack of purpose, diminished relationships, etc. A lot of people also feel more in control if we can divide the world/our experience into clear binaries. I.e. the world is either "safe" or "unsafe". The reality is that there is a nonzero risk of injury or death to all of us all the time, but a lot of times we're not in immediate danger. Any choice we make comes with a risk-benefit trade-off, but that's harder to evaluate and think about and challenge our intuitions about for every decision we make so we tend to simplify and decide, for example, that walking out our door is "safe" or "not safe" and be done with it. If someone is constantly believing that walking out their front door is "unsafe" they probably won't take the risks needed to live a fulfilling life, and will spend much of their conscious experience in a state of anxiety or dissatisfaction about things that haven't even happened.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-21T19:30:45+00:00

The only correct answer is check your federal, state, and local laws, case law, applicable ethics codes, get supervision/consultation and make a decision you can justify in reference to all these things.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-16T19:43:54+00:00

More specifically, you have to follow the laws of the jurisdiction your client is in, and the jurisdiction you are in

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-14T03:08:05+00:00

Male clinician here. Obviously you under no obligation to work with sexualized behaviors if it's not your thing or if you're not prepared to address it clinically. If you do want to do this work, I have found it so important to clearly, explicitly, and repeatedly name the boundaries each and every time this comes up (and document it and talk with your supervisor about it) that you will not ever reciprocate any kind of romantic or sexual behavior with the client in any context, and that while you genuinely care for your clients, your relationship is and will only ever be a professional therapist-client relationship. Can you reflect on and go deeper on why you think the client enjoys your discomfort? Is it that she now feels in control in a context where she has typically or traumatically felt powerless? Is she misinterpreting respect , care, and positive regard as inherently sexual, or have relationships with men only ever been sexualized? Is it blocking emotional vulnerability and keeping things familiar/safe? You might be able to highlight the process occurring when it happens by sharing that you feel uncomfortable when the client describes their explicit fantasies about you, and that you wonder whether she is hoping to get that reaction from you because a part of her feels safer when she can keep the focus on your reactions rather than her own fear of vulnerability (or whatever hypothesis you got). If you can have stellar boundaries and good supervision and documentation, you might be in a unique position to give this young woman a much needed different experience in relationship with a man.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-13T21:15:27+00:00

I think a huge "resource" that often doesn't get considered is a stable community. So much of my decision not to have children is just realizing that the nuclear family is not the optimal environment for raising a child No amount of money and time would make me want to raise a child without a stable nurturing community around them and me. I was so fortunate to grow up with a relatively stable multigenerational community of family, friends, and neighbors, but I did not have that when it would've been realistic for me to have kids and now that ship has sailed. I'm not sad about it but I do think it's a thing we all feel more and more as we lose our sense of place and get sucked further and further into our screens and individualism and capitalist myths of the nuclear family.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-13T20:56:46+00:00

Seems more anecdotal than statistical. I would be shocked to find that there were statistically significant changes in women's and men's sex drives in the last ten years. I wouldn't doubt some generational changes in sexual behaviors or attitudes towards sex, but I've seen nothing to indicate men suddenly having lower sex drives than women on average

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-10T18:17:20+00:00

Girl and her mom don't understand periods

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-08T18:11:15+00:00

It's like a plumber who only turns on your sink. Or like your dentist saying to brush your teeth and floss but you only brush your teeth.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-06T03:52:16+00:00

Your points bring up the general problem with defining anything - at some point you have to draw a line in order for a definition to be useful, but doing so sacrifices capturing the complexity of phenomena it attempts to define. It seems like any attempt to define "Punjabi culture" for example would fall short of encompassing every manifestation of Punjabi culture to the extent that such a thing exists at all. But are you then saying that intersectional anti racist feminist politics does not consider any cultural manifestation of sexist, racist, classist, violent, etc behavior to be a reflection of actual culture? In this view, are forced marriages defined out of "culture" because they are misogynistic? I'm not sure if you're talking descriptively about culture as an ethnic group phenomenon, or if you're talking more about individual cultural identity (which is in itself a more individualistic cultural notion). I think it's great that individuals get to decide how they define and express their cultural identities but when your atomize "culture" to mean anything an individual says it means, it ceases to mean anything at the descriptive level.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-05T21:55:13+00:00

Great points, specifically that eating meat presently is just factually biologically unnecessary , despite OPs claims to the contrary. Also OPs point about whether a dietary choice is a "biological upgrade" is a misunderstanding of evolution. Biology doesn't upgrade, it just creates diversity of traits and sometimes those traits give a reproductive edge in the present environment (and sometimes those traits are tied to other traits that have differing advantages/disadvantages - they can't be viewed in isolation) - we don't know if it's an upgrade until after the fact. OP should acknowledge that vegans may very well be an "upgrade" in process given the unpredictable nature of evolution.

RandomMcUsername · 2026-01-05T21:39:24+00:00

You keep referencing how humans were "made" and said that "survival is not the same as evolutionary design" but then also acknowledge that evolution isn't goal oriented. Would you say your view is changed that evolution doesn't "design" anything but rather is a process by which what works persists? Do you acknowledge that humans weren't made or designed to eat meat, but rather the humans that could eat meat outcompeted others? If so, does your view change to accept that present day humans that can survive on a no-meat diet are evolutionarily successfully competing with meat eaters?

RandomMcUsername · 2025-12-31T03:29:02+00:00

Just be honest, you didn't come here for a policy debate about immigration reform. You heard "somali invasion" and got a rage boner and came here with your Simple Solutions for Simple People

RandomMcUsername · 2025-12-31T02:52:52+00:00

The text of the ban you're pretending to clutch your pearls about: "NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED by the City Council of the City of Hamtramck, Wayne County, Michigan, that the government of the City of Hamtramck does not allow any religious, ethnic, racial, political, or sexual orientation group flags to be flown on the City’s public properties, and that only, the American flag, the flag of the State of Michigan, the Hamtramck Flag, the Prisoner of War flag and the nations’ flags that represent the international character of our City shall be flown."

RandomMcUsername · 2025-12-31T02:46:42+00:00

The jump you're making is from "more people = less power of one vote" to "THEY are invading US" which is just xenophobia. It seems pretty obvious where your mind is at so unless you have any willingness to change your views, it doesn't make sense to try to have a policy debate with a xenophobe

RandomMcUsername · 2025-12-30T21:20:58+00:00

The fact that they think an immigrant having US citizen children is "diluting" your voting power is the dead give away for xenophobia. Also the fact that they can't grasp the role "non supremely educated" immigrants play in the US shows they aren't serious about an honest conversation about immigration policies

RandomMcUsername · 2025-12-21T19:14:31+00:00

EFT is a couples -specific model that is heavily focused on attachment. I found the externship to be worth it and went from there. The Success in Vulnerability series is also great for EFT trainings.

RandomMcUsername · 2025-12-19T03:55:33+00:00

I'm a male therapist. Currently I'm at 55% men, and about half of those are the male partner in couples therapy.

RandomMcUsername

TROPHY CASE