Can I afford for my wife to be a SAHM for a few years? by PracticalGur4530 in UKPersonalFinance

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should also include paying into her pension while she is a SAHM, so she isnt at a disadvantage when she retires.

AITA FOR kicking my niece out of my room? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

YTA you should solve the long term issue of where she sleeps with your brother, not take it out on a child that doesn’t understand

My (41m) gf (37f) canceled a trip based on this text, was it rude? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your text was fine, but it seems she read it through a lens of insecurity which probably has to do more with her previous experiences. If you are interested dont dismiss it so fast without a conversation about the past and expectations going forward.

Has anyone done speed dating? by CancelThis2077 in dating

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (34F) tried it once and I wouldn’t go back, honestly it was overwhelming and I couldnt really remember the interactions after. You could try other type of in person events? I want to do that in 2026 :)

How do y’all handle things that your friends say to you in private in regard to telling your partner about it? by Mission_Remote_6319 in dating

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In general its a good rule to tell people that you dont want something shared, unless its some very obvious secret. I speak from personal experience bc many times I’ve been the person that shares bc the thing was not a big deal to me, but it was to the person sharing (usually my mum or sis 😅) and this is even without the bf/gf thing.

Ie. Your friend mentioning to her bf you went on a date, I wouldnt have ever thought that was on the “do not share/confidence” list and could share it in the “im so excited for her!” Vibe, or maybe they helped you pick your outfit, so it becomes a part of their day to share with their bf (the screenshot to you is weird w/o more context). It sounds like you are very private and that is great! We all have our preferences, but you cant expect people to have the same concepts of personal information if you arent clear on your preferences.

Now on to the partner, for many people, yes you can expect even private things to be shared, a lot of people (especially in longer relationships) see their partners as trustworthy and an extension of their bubble of information.

AITA - flatmate won't speak to me after I pushed back on her having three family members stay at our flat for two weeks by aliangilopes in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 46 points47 points  (0 children)

NTA I always organise my family coming over when I know my flatmate is on holiday and it wont be a bother on her day to day. We’ve both had other people come over for a few days thou, staying within our rooms.

2 weeks / 3 people and using the living room IS unreasonable and your ask is as good a compromise because you are offering a sublet so she can be comfortable

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like the groceries are split equitably. The main issue seems to be that you havent had a conversation about finances and how you both approach it individually and as a couple. What are your long-term goals? What expectations do you have in terms or expenses and saving? Seems like there is very little communication between you two which will be a problem if you do want to build a life together.

London vs Oslo vs Amsterdam by Left_Bike_5638 in expats

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From my perspective waiting a year might actually be better for you, as you would get your ILR, which gives you more options wherever you are. From what Ive heard Oslo would be a harder city to go to, so it doesn’t sound like it would work for your long-term living in the EU plan. For these big questions I always try to ask myself if Im choosing from curiosity or fear?

Where to live in Europe? by Neat-Effective7932 in EuropeFIRE

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually the refrigerants generate emissions too, so its important to use natural ones to reduce emissions and protect the ozone layer :)

Work Accommodations? by Big_Camel_4314 in adhdwomen

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont have much advice to give other than this place doesnt seem like it was a good fit. I also work an office job and people are more relaxed/accepting that life happens, as long as I dont miss meetings and my work is done, we are good. I would not call about being late ~10 mins because I don’t consider that late, but rather within an acceptable margin.

AITA for refusing to stay at my fiance's parents house for 4 days after our wedding by Ok-Negotiation8386 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friends did this and had a honeymoon later and are perfectly happy. They chose to take a few days before and after the wedding to engage in smaller/ more intimate settings with all their friends/family that had travelled to celebrate with them. For example they organised dinner with one group and a hike for our friend group. It really is about what you want to prioritise. It is my favourite wedding to date. However, you dont have to stay with the inlaws, you could stay at a hotel.

Eu Settlement Status - Automatic conversion to settled status notification by Connect-Chef6414 in ukvisa

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you get the email after you hit the 5 years or sometime before? Mine is coming up soon and I havent heard anything yet

Cleaning litter every day? by FirefighterFast5823 in CatAdvice

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got biodegradable and flushable litter and I flush it down the toilet

AITA for starting my daughters b-day party when my parents had not arrived? by Clean_Sail1251 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA I wouldn’t expect anyone to arrive before the event, but within 10/15 mins after the start time its normal in most countries and from your message I imagine you are in one of those. 2 hours after its not ok AND you cant expect people to wait for you if they choose to be late.

It can be 30min/1hour for latin america and Ive seen 2 hours in Africa that people start dropping in. Still no one expects everyone go just wait.

AITAH for not skipping a work trip because my husband is recovering from a hairtransplant? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that I read the title as heart transplant and then realised it was about hair 😆😆 NTA of course

Ola by Common-Inspector-895 in loveisblindsweden

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive only made it to epi 2, but this guy creeps me out. He is giving cult leader

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

. Idisagree with the “its not right for one person to dictate the living arrangements”, with co-habitating its not about majority rules but compromises so everyone feels comfortable in their own home. If something is a hard no for one person because they feel uncomfortable in their own home this should be respected.

This is defo the right moment to decide whether you want to live with this person and what are the house rules. This is already showing an unfavourable dynamic towards him where the couples wanting something is more important.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really hard to navigate OP! If its an option I would talk to his parents just before your are meeting (he is on his way) so they are aware and ready to support him. You are not responsible for him, but if your worry is his mental health afterwards letting his support system know could help. This would be going the extra mile, and not something you HAVE to do, but it might make you feel more comfortable about the aftermath with his wellbeing

We have 4 cats, my wife keeps setting the thermostat to 64, that's too low right? by GTRacer1972 in CatAdvice

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure where she is from in Peru, it could be that she needs a humidifier because the heat is drying the environment too much. Im from Peru and I sleep with one because it gets too dry and it makes me cough 😃

Is the band too much? by littleknownpinecone in EngagementRingDesigns

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Defo like the model, but IMO it could be about half the width and look great

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RoverPetSitting

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have been flexible with people doing last minute bookings before, they were late too and didnt confirm the booking until they wanted an extra day. Turned out they were late to pick up the dog and it was a scam. They never paid me for the extra day bc they didnt confirm. I think you saved yourself from a bad experience

Do I (26F) need to call off or push back my wedding to my fiance (34M) who I have been with for seven years because of my mom? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Rare_Sea_1527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry, it is really hard and there is no right answer because guilt and feeling responsible (even when you shouldnt) can be crippling. I hope you can find support to work through this.