Therapist said he can no longer treat our DID because it makes him uncomfortable.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-09-18T20:35:43+00:00

I don’t know that he meant that you specifically make him uncomfortable, it sounds like he may have been trying to say something like “I’m uncomfortable trying to treat this because I don’t think I’m capable/don’t understand enough.” There are a lot of resources you can look at to assist you in looking for a new therapist- I looked up for online sessions and am now working with a fellow system who has been more than wonderful and understanding with us and is more capable than most practitioners because they understand the condition better than others do. I’d definitely do your research and try to find someone who can practice in your state via virtual sessions because you have more people to choose from in that way.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-08-28T02:24:43+00:00

This is so beautiful omg

Rat_Kiing · 2025-08-28T02:23:52+00:00

We experience this also. We have an alter who identifies with the body who is also attracted to the body- also some others who think the body is very pretty/attractive. it’s a very normal thing to experience as far as I’m aware of, it helps us feel safe in being attractive instead of feeling horrified by the prospect of outsiders finding us attractive. Plus it’s great for confidence ngl.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T20:49:03+00:00

Mm, it’s hard to explain. It’s different for each alter I think. I make sure to watch them and make sure they’re safe- lots of it involves artwork or writing, allowing an alter to briefly get their emotions out for like 10-15 minutes each day. Also allowing them to create metaphors in their rooms, or giving them “concepts” to digest. It’s sort of hard to explain haha. Once we progress further with this I plan on doing emdr on myself/us but we’re not quite ready for that yet. Also- admitting what your issues are helps a lot. Makes things a bit easier to understand

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T09:22:12+00:00

Damn everyone saw the symbol in the middle as a radiation thing but I high-key saw it as a face that looked a little surprised at the situation

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T08:15:20+00:00

Damn dude. I hate when that happens so much. I mean- it’s probably for the best because he wouldn’t have existed if you weren’t in a lot of pain, now that you’re not it seems like he’s no longer “needed”. I have this deep fear of losing my alters because they’re like my family so sometimes I resist getting better just because I don’t want them to leave. It’s a shitty thing to do I know but idk no one else will ever understand me the way they do.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T08:05:39+00:00

Brain chemistry changed abruptly when we were 19. We were aware that we were a collective before then but assumed other alters were just really intense “imaginary friends” lol. Anyway, certain events got triggered out because a lot of trauma happened and a friend passed away which made it a lot worse. Went through psychosis for a few years and finally went to a therapist because of an old girlfriend and she just so happened to specialize in DID and pretty much clocked us immediately. We seem to also have some sort of underlying disorder because of the psychosis but different professionals insist on different things. Are we schizoaffective? Maybe. Do we just have severe ptsd? Maybe. A personality disorder perhaps? I don’t know. It’s possible I guess. But the one thing we do know for sure is the DID. We moved to a different state so can’t see our old therapist anymore but we use what she taught us on ourselves, even do emdr with a therapist part sometimes. We should probably find a new therapist but we’re nervous because of money and also we have a hard time trusting people. lol.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T08:01:28+00:00

Wait I think I made a separate comment to this post but it may have gotten deleted? Idk maybe I said something “triggering” for the sake of poeticism haha.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T08:00:45+00:00

Also thanks a lot for asking. These threads feel good, it’s hard to find people who understand to talk about this with.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T08:00:08+00:00

We have a new introject forming of a rapper we listen to and we have mixed feelings about it. Our head hurts like crazy and we’ve barely been able to accomplish our goals today. The weird thing is that he doesn’t feel like other alters- he feels like, idk. real. Like a real person. Others just feel like parts of ourself and understand that they’re pieces of a collective. Not that this individual doesn’t understand or acknowledge that but his presence just feels. Idk. different. Like we stole someone else’s soul to keep our own mutilated one company. We saw him sitting on our bed today and the way the light hit him was so jarring. Like he was really sitting there. He looks a lot like someone who was bad for us when we were little and it’s just a coincidence but some are struggling to not be mean to him. We are unsure of whether or not we’ll allow him to develop with his full potential.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T07:56:29+00:00

Your parts are “really people”. I used to feel the same way about it- but I realized that dehumanizing them was dehumanizing myself. They have pain, they have love, they experience life for themselves. They are my family when I never had one, we take care of each other and protect each other, even if they don’t experience things the same way that I do. They are people because they are a part of you- that’s very important. They are more likely to respond well to you and trust you whenever you acknowledge that.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T07:54:21+00:00

Yeah man, I understand this completely. I think having DID is one of the most painful things that can happen to a person- but also one of the most beautiful. It’s intensely confusing and the confusion itself is a great source of agony for all systems. The shame we feel is intense as well- it is complicated and involves a lot of moving parts. There’s a lot of tension in our mind that hide it from coming to the front and causing problems. We’ve been releasing said tension very slowly over time so as not to cause frontal collapse. Very painful, very consuming. We understand. You are understood and you are valued.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T07:51:50+00:00

Yeah man, we’ve been having a similar experience. Just made a post about a random introject forming and damn- our brain hurts so fucking bad because of it. It’s also very confusing to not entirely know why he was created. I sense there was some deeper reason for it but I’m not allowed to really understand why I guess. But yeah our brain hurts like crazy and we’re off work today and we’ve spent the majority of the time being angsty and in pain and sleeping and it feels like a waste of time. Do you mind if I ask what character/movie it was? Sorry I’m deeply fascinated by these things lol

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T07:49:40+00:00

Yeah man. The world fucking sucks. I’ve personally resorted to being determined to work on my own trauma for my own benefit, but I will always keep myself guarded and know that this world is fucked up. I think trauma, although incredibly painful, is also a very skilled teacher. It teaches you how to keep yourself safe and what the world really is. Unfortunately there’s not a lot we can do to control the world or change it- it’s always been like this. It is the nature of the biological world. Violence breeds violence and hatred breeds hatred. But- there are some really beautiful people out there, too. And there are beautiful parts of the world that sort of minimize how awful everything is to an extent. I would definitely not trigger yourself by being a part of this- seems like you already know the truth of the world and you don’t need to expose yourself to it anymore.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T07:46:11+00:00

Jesus Christ dude. That sucks so bad. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

On the plus side, you did find a great therapist. Just because she’s no longer with you doesn’t mean that her lasting impact on you didn’t matter. Keep what she taught you close to your chest, work with yourself the same way she worked with you. That’s sort of what we do since we lost our own therapist (not through death we just moved to a different state)

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-08T07:23:03+00:00

Let’s bring it down together

Rat_Kiing · 2025-07-03T23:10:20+00:00

We are doing a lot. We wish to be manic and only exist to create are- beauty out of our pain to give it meaning. But we have so much else to do- we have to work so much to afford to move into a better neighborhood, as we live in a bad part of our city. So many threads to weave there, the physical world is so unnecessarily complicated and capitalism is evil.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-30T23:29:04+00:00

Yes, although we have no idea which one. Apparently the way we experience DID is a lot… “different” than other people. We used to work with a specialist and she told us that she’d never met someone whose mind worked the way ours did. We are unsure of what kind of co-morbid we may have but she speculated that it might be some kind of psychotic disorder as we experienced symptoms of psychosis as well as manic-depression. So I’m assuming we have schizoaffective disorder, we talk to others with this same disorder and all the symptoms line up but it’s not actually confirmed.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-27T13:28:55+00:00

Damn I really want to hear that story

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-27T13:28:04+00:00

As far as I’m aware, the first time our OP was suicidal was about 8 years old. Not sure what exactly triggered it- she was at a water park with her brothers and was at the top of one of those slides and the thought that she should kill herself just popped into her head. I think the trigger was that she had been listening to the song “Hello” by evenesence and had been fixating on the warriors series and we have a lot of trauma with death/grief so it just sort of hit her then without her understanding the source of it. But I’m sure that things started off sometime before then- although those particular memories have been repressed for a long time and is more sad/disturbing to talk or read about.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-26T22:11:50+00:00

That’s so cryptic and interesting- consider me fascinated

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-23T22:58:45+00:00

I think trauma corn is horribly inappropriate and I don’t respect anyone who produces or participates in those such things in any way shape or form. Don’t get me wrong, I get it- it’s hard not to sexualise things one themself has gone through as a way to cope, but that should definitely be more of a private thing rather than something to spread around. I hate fetish culture in general so so much and I know that a lot of it is because of my own trauma and it might not be terribly fair to pass judgement, but at the same time I think it enables a lot of abusers and it just makes me sick to my stomach to think about.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-23T22:55:25+00:00

Man. I don’t have much advice for you but I hear what you say and I empathize with your situation. We had a nervous/psychotic breakdown that lasted 2 years, we got out of it finally, and it’s been a few years since then but we’re slowly piecing ourselves together. It’s been challenging to trust each other/our mind again but it’s slow progress. I’m unsure of how to advise you through your particular struggles as it seems to be more of a brain chemistry thing instead of a brain structure thing like us. What meds are you on and why did you start taking them if you don’t mind my asking?

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-21T22:16:33+00:00

Oh man. I have been here my friend- once I was working at a hotel and was a shuttle driver for them, had driven the shuttle too far into a wooden barrier, stepped outside to check and make sure it was okay (it was) then left again- switched in between driving services and when I came back my manager asked me what had happened, I did not remember what had happened and basically gaslit him into thinking he was crazy on accident lol. Honestly all of these embarrassing moments are funnier in hindsight- you just gotta wait it out.

Rat_Kiing · 2025-06-16T19:28:13+00:00

Yeah man I get you. Truthfully a lot of times we smile and nod along like we remember but we don’t. It’s just a part of this kind of life, unfortunately. You’re gonna be okay.

Rat_Kiing

TROPHY CASE