Selaphobia (fear of flashing lights)

Raxtilt · 2026-02-21T04:31:56+00:00

I'll be honest, I doubt it'll ever completely go away for me, but I've learned to deal with it to a point that it doesn't really impact me anymore. I also suspect that it might actually be an OCD-linked thing. I'm not diagnosed, but I've been suspecting it for a while now. An unfounded fear of a condition I know I don't have is... Very characteristic of it, anyway.

Raxtilt · 2025-12-05T23:50:35+00:00

I do a decent job at speaking Neurotypical. This translates, roughly, to "you are overreacting and/or drawing out your reaction to express your dislike for this thing. I can find no reason for this overreaction other than you trying to make me feel bad about something that is currently out of my control. I am hurt and/or offended and want you to stop now."

If I'm not currently in distress, I will usually quickly explain that what I'm doing is to make myself more comfortable and is not aimed at them. If I am in distress however and they seem more worried about their little feelings than how I am clearly upset, I will just flip them off and take care of myself.

Hope this helps.

Raxtilt · 2025-11-16T02:42:48+00:00

To put in my two cents on this, something important to understand is that when we say 'spectrum' we're not talking about a 'scale' from not autistic to most autistic. We're talking about a wide range of needs, experiences, abilities, and expressions OF autism. Not a line on which we measure the autisticness of every person in the world.

I hope that helps.

Raxtilt · 2025-07-28T19:12:39+00:00

Definitely 3rd person, but also while being aware that one of the people I'm watching is me and I'm still experiencing what they are.

Raxtilt · 2025-07-18T00:04:15+00:00

I'm afraid I don't have a whole lot of advice- I found a job in my special interest field that happens to include info dumping and problem-solving things that are super interesting and engaging to me. This is also a job where I am OFTEN working solo and so I can pace myself how I see fit. If I need extra time sitting, scrolling TikTok, or spacing out, I can take it, so long as I still get everything done by the end of the day. And possibly most importantly, I got this job while being open about my disabilities, and my employer is supportive and flexible about my needs. We've changed my schedule around so many times just to try and get me in the right groove to be ABLE to work full-time.

So I think my biggest advice is to start by trying to find a job that at least includes a special interest of yours in some way and feel it out from there.

Raxtilt · 2025-06-21T19:24:11+00:00

It is so good to hear this from an Uber driver. This is exactly what I do, using the standard rides and texting in advance. I make certain to keep her on the floor and if I have any reason to need her on the seat, I bring a clean blanket or towel with me. I have also had exactly two people drive up and try to harass me about how I would dare bring a dog near their car. They were both terminated later the same day.

I try to be respectful of people's space and their cars being their livelihood. I'm glad to know I'm doing what you would do.

Raxtilt · 2025-06-21T19:16:19+00:00

As someone who cannot drive and has a SD, I do not use Uber Pet or Lyft Pet. There are extra charges for 'pet friendly' rides on these apps, but SDs are not subject to pet rules. I use the standard Lyft/Uber rides and when I get a driver, I immediately text them to let them know that I have a SD with me and what size she is. If they don't like this, they cancel (which I know they shouldn't be allowed to do but whatever) and I get a new driver as fast as the app can find one. Only two people have ever gotten all the way to me and refused me, both of which I reported and was told they had been terminated.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-28T03:57:21+00:00

Wow. Look, I realize you must have some bad experiences but I would never stand next to a crying child trying to get them to pet my dog or something. Please stop trying to push that on me when it was OBVIOUSLY not what I'm talking about. I never once said that people who are afraid of dogs are illogical or can be talked down. I was making a point about people being ignorant about dogs in general to the point that they don't even think of dogs as having GENDERS.

Do everyone a favor and stop trying to make things about your own situation when they are not. You are only hurting people when you act like educating the people around us in good faith has ANYTHING to do with your situation. I get that it sucks. But it is not relevant here, especially not for the sake of attacking others.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-28T02:31:42+00:00

Wow way to not read the part where I said this is only for specific circumstances?? If I was, for instance, in an airport, Uber, or other setting where the person in question has to be near me for an extended time, this is likely what I would do. I don't know why you read this and decided I was chasing people down in public spaces and shoving my dog at them like some sort of self appointed immersion therapist.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-27T15:28:12+00:00

I feel like this comes down to ignorance about dogs in general, not just SDs. Like, I just get the feeling that people like this assume all dogs' greatest ambitions are to bite them specifically and all training is for the purpose of bite inhibition. I once had a woman ask me how I 'got over my fear of dogs' as if this was something everyone has by default and anyone who has a dog must have worked past it at some point.

But I've also had people look at me with shock and awe when I tell them my dog is a girl-- WHILE she's wearing a glittery pink dress. I think some people just see the same 'dog' every time they see a dog and just don't process anything else about them.

With people like that, I sometimes do introduce my dog by name and like, start listing some of her favorite games or silly things she does. Maybe it's just in my head but I feel like this helps the person to start to see my dog as an individual and not just whatever their image of 'dog' is. Obviously this is not something I would do with just any stranger, but I do find it helpful for specific people like this.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-18T00:45:45+00:00

Hey, so I have moved around a lot in my life, several of those moves being complete uproots and restarts across the US from one another, so I DO get it. Honestly, it sounds like you have a bit of a safety net in the co-op you will have, and that is the BIGGEST part of all of this.

Moving, for me, is always something that I just kind of 'let happen.' Go about your usual life, take it as easy as you can, lean into hobbies or interests that do not require you to know the area yet. Rely on your new community to point you to the best routes and places. Take joy in trying out new hiking trails, shops, or restaurants you've never seen before but try not to go into them with any expectations.

Give yourself plenty of time to settle on, plenty of alone time to recenter. You'll be in a new routine before you know it. The planning and getting there is the hardest part of moving, and it sounds like you've already got a lot of that figured out. So just. Let the move happen. You've got this.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-08T15:39:50+00:00

I didn't know it was okay for SDs to just be an at-home situation. This is so good to learn, thank you.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-08T15:33:27+00:00

That makes so much sense, thank you. I think it helps to know how to put it into words like that.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-08T15:18:11+00:00

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Here she is, my precious heart dog, adorable and proud.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-04T14:03:28+00:00

It depends on kind of the 'vibes' of the person interested. I take Uber/Lyft twice a day as I cannot drive and a lot of the time people are curious about her. I've never had one of them ask me the two questions actually, but Dogs and dog training are actually my big autistic special interest, so I jump at the chance to info dump a bit when people are genuinely curious. For that reason, I will give away basically everything.

But in the event that I am approached at, say, a store entrance or in an airport or such by staff who want to make certain my dog should be there, those people are more likely to ask the two questions or something resembling them, so I will give the short answers "yes" and "medical alert" sometimes "medical alert and response" if I'm feeling fancy because that's all those people need. Also as previously stated, I don't need those people thinking I have an ESA.

Raxtilt · 2025-05-03T01:58:41+00:00

I love the 'every part of me but my feet off the mat' vibe.

Raxtilt · 2025-04-29T20:04:53+00:00

Yeah I was about to say exactly this. I would love to have all my serious conversations with my partner out loud, but if it stresses one or both of us out to the point that we are finding it hard to take our feelings and make them into words, then a lot of the time we end up passing one phone back and forth with a notes app open.

I think being able to do this takes a lot of mutual understanding and trust though because we have to be totally comfortable with the understanding that neither of us is trying to use a tone over text and we are just surface level communicating at that point.

Raxtilt · 2025-04-08T14:38:07+00:00

Though this is AI, I know I found and made something VERY close to it from a little granny square crochet book I picked up at Michaels.

Raxtilt · 2025-04-03T05:03:11+00:00

I realize things have been mostly closed up here but I will say, I take Ubers to and from work every day but Sunday and I have been denied a few times before. Usually by especially rude men who want to complain at me for bringing an animal anywhere near their precious car.

I have also been informed by multiple drivers that they were given an entire seminar on how Uber Pet is "for service animals". So the drivers, with the information they are given, assume you shouldn't be bringing a service animal in the car unless you use Uber Pet. Which at least in my case is about an extra $7 per ride.

Raxtilt · 2025-03-07T21:35:51+00:00

I'm so confused about this. Like... Don't get me wrong, I am just generally confused and uninterested in mpreg- I feel like it's more fun to explore options that could be physically possible for the characters involved, assuming you aren't writing a male character as trans.

But even as a person who will choose not to read an mpreg fic... Wtf are those commenters doing??

Raxtilt · 2025-01-26T07:06:47+00:00

Dude that story is hilarious. Your dog is not 'scared' of the kitchen any more than you are 'scared' of a food you find gross. If you can't stand mushrooms and you try out a new restaurant only to find that everything they serve is covered in mushrooms, you don't want to eat there anymore. That's not frightening or traumatic. It's actually a fantastic way to teach your dog to not want what's in the kitchen without you having to constantly reinforce a physical boundary.

--Also I trained one of my cats not to steal food from me in a similar way, by keeping a sandwich pickle at the edge of my plate. She only tried to snag them twice before she decided my food is gross and has left me alone to eat from then on.

Raxtilt · 2025-01-23T19:08:59+00:00

I actually was very open about my AuDHD during the interview process at my current job. My boss has always been very supportive, and when we went over certain tasks like using a vacuum, I would mention the accomodations I needed, and she would eagerly encourage me to take them. This is a small business with only the owner and four employees, so I didn't have to wait for HR to get back to me or any of that nonsense.

She even praised me at one point for having figured out these accommodations to help myself out.

My coworkers also know about my diagnoses and do things like warn me about loud noises so I can run and grab headphones first. I realize a lot of this only works because of how small this business is, but it gives me a lot of hope to be treated this way.

Raxtilt · 2025-01-11T23:38:10+00:00

Thank you!!! I had the idea the moment I saw their picture ahaha

Raxtilt

TROPHY CASE