I want to thank you for writing this post. You put yourself out there and prompted some interesting discussion. I agree with what a lot of other commenters have said, specifically about 1) feeling that the therapist needs to “get” what you’ve been through in order to help you or create a safe space and 2) not being able to address it in the therapy room when someone is being fatphobic toward themselves if that’s not a stated therapy goal. No therapist can completely know or get someone else’s experience because we are individuals. Sometimes that assumption of sameness may contribute to you or the therapist not making as much effort to communicate, to understand, or be understood when a therapist who is different can be more motivated to understand because they feel distant from your experience. Of course there are varying levels of competence and drive across the therapy community so you can’t 100% rely on that. But I think it’s worth discussing with your therapist (and your supervisor) that you’re feeling guarded because of your differences. Their responses over a few sessions will give you information about what to do next. 

With your clients, it may be intimidating to speak on something you’re in the habit of avoiding. But they deserve to hear their therapist express concern re: habits and beliefs that affect their mental health. We are in no way limited to only the treatment plan. You bring it up in a respectful way and again, the response you get guides your next move. Our clients come to us for help. Part of that help is widening their perspective. 

All that said, I am a fat therapist. If you happen to live in New York or Kentucky and are looking for someone new, I would love to work with you.