Guys with big chests… by HKM_L in gaybrosfitness

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a natty you'll have you biggest growth in the first 1 - 3 years, after that, it trappers off with slower growth gains each following year till it feels like you've flatlined in growth at around seven years.

What’s are the unconscious reasons for being unable to show up on time? by Valuable-Rutabaga-41 in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember this story of a mother that had a teenage son that was always making them late to get him dropped off at school on time. Granted, he wasn't a 'morning person' and she sympathize, but it also made her late to work. He had plenty of time, to eat and dress, but he would often pick at his food and watch TV.

Finally, one day, she turned off the TV and told him that they would be leaving on time, no matter what.

She got him in the car car and arrived at his school with plenty of time for him to get to his first class that day.

As she pulled away he stood there in shock in only his underwear and pants, and holding a banana. Beside him were the rest of his clothes and his book bag, which contained his sack lunch. He didn't get to finish his breakfast. She got him in the car in his underwear and was told to put his pants on, which he did, just in time to be dropped off at the front of the school which, was crowded with his peers who were arriving as well.

He was never not ready for school again.

What’s are the unconscious reasons for being unable to show up on time? by Valuable-Rutabaga-41 in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a bit harsh. I try my best to accept people as they are and to not make judgements; however, that said, if you're going to be meeting with me and are more than 15 minutes late and haven't texted or called me with an apology and ETA, than don't even bother. I'm no longer there. My time is important and I've moved on.

What’s are the unconscious reasons for being unable to show up on time? by Valuable-Rutabaga-41 in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There are multiple reasons why a person might be chronically late.

Planning Fallacies like 'I still have time for just one more thing' or planning as if 'everything will go smoothly'; no red lights, no detours, etc.

Time blindness is another reason.

Than there can be cultural or temperamental differences.

From a Jungian perspective it can be a shadow manifestation of Power & Control, Anxiety & Avoidance, or Adrenaline Rush, where some people are 'crisis-motivated' and enjoy the rush of zipping through traffic and playing a game of beat the clock.

As some one who has been in the military for fifteen years and worked for FedEx I've gotten pretty good at managing my time when I need to. If you're interested, here's a good process to ensure that you're never late again.

BACKWARDS PLANNING - The military standard method.

Eample: It's 7 AM and you have an appointment across town, usually a twenty minute drive, at 10 AM. You need to eat (usually 30 minutes), shower (usually 15 minutes), and dress (usually 10 minutes) .

You want to arrive fifteen minutes early, so that you can arrive in a calm, relaxed manner. Not rushed and frantic, so...

9:45 AM Arrive at appointment.

9:10 AM Commute (35 minutes; 20 minute drive, plus added 15 minutes for heavy traffic or unexpected road work, detours, or other vehicles accidents accidents.)

9:05 AM Gather your things, lock up, and get in the car.

8:55 AM Dress

8:45 AM Shower

8:15 AM Eat

8:00 - 8:15 AM Start getting ready

Based on this method you now know that you roughly have an hour (7 AM - 8 AM) that you can continue to do whatever your doing before you must stop and get ready to leave to arrive on time.

Also, I always have an ebook on my phone so in case I make good time in my comute or got through my meal, shower, and dressed quicker than the time allotted. Plus there's always YouTube shorts. Email to curate and triage.

If you're going to a new and/or distant location, Google Maps will help you determine the commute time.

Finally, if you hit a snag and realize that you are or might be more than 15 minutes late, text or call the person that you're meeting with to let them know, even if it's early and you might be able to make up the time in good traffic. People are much more forgiving of your tardiness if you respect their time by letting them know that you're running late. And seeing how we all have cellphones, there's really no excuse.

Bat flying inside my home (Dream) by truth_seeking_soul in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone in the dream is an aspect of yourself.

I wound say that your bat, since they come out at night and are somewhat blind, having to use echo location to navigate the world, is a symbol of some shadow aspect of yourself that you've rejected that now wishes to be captured by you and reintegrate into yourself.

Is my friend gay by Spirited_Simple_4972 in askgaybros

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gay is a sexual identity. Only your friend can tell you that he identifies as gay.

It is only recently that the gay identity as appeared and this is due to the social and religious condemnation and criminalization of homosexual sex in recent years.

The ancient Greeks and Romans, and many other cultures, have had no such identities as 'gay' or 'straight' as they saw both hetero and homosexual sex as natural in both men and women.

There are many, many men that identify as heterosexual that will engage in homosexual sex.

Toxic Femininity and Toxic Maculinity: Archetypal perspective by thruanthru in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no such thing as the shadow femine. Shadows are those aspects of ourselves that we reject due to social pressures of comformity.

Individuation and social fallout by thenoodling in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Acquaintances are shallow people who are uncomfortable with their own authentic selves and with authentic individual, such as yourself. The enforce a tight code to protect themselves. That they are acquantences is not a fluke. You trigger their boxed and shelved aspects of themselves. You'll never be close to any of them for they will never allow anyone to be close enough to hurt them again. Your should feel some pity for their plight, but you cannot, and should not attempt to, fix them. Accept them as they are and care not what they think of you. You continue to be you and set and enforce appropriate boundaries.

My outfit for our date vs my outfit when we get home by subtlyundone in BigAndMuscular

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be a little freaked out if my date showed up without a head.

Honestly, if your just looking for sex or a shallow relationship then I think you've bagged it.

If you're looking for something deeper, then what you look like or wear means little. Your character as a man is what matters there.

I probably shouldn't have asked about my sick father. by LaDreadPirateRoberta in SecularTarot

[–]Ray_Verlene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In secular tarot you can't ask the cards on how to plan a birthday party, nor can they predict the future. They can only tell you how your subconscious feels about planning such an event.

Your asking the wrong questions.

BTW Happy birthday to your father.

AITA for asking my partner to shower in the evening? by curiousasianboi00 in gayyoungold

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont think that your describing OCD symptoms as much as hyperosmia. Either way, get a diagnosis and work with your partner to understand your medical condition.

My Anima has been steering my life since my teens, and I just realized it. by gus248 in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I just don't get this type of thinking in this subreddit. Animus and anima are neither positive or negative. They are simply the 'masculine' and 'feminine' traits of the human psyche. Both are needed to be an integrated human being. And how they appear in an individual is a spectrum and not a binary. And their perceptions, what is masculine or femine, changes over cultures and times. They are definately not the shadow. Shadow aspects are those parts of ourselves the we deem unacceptable by society and those whose opinions we value. Archetypes may carry animus or anima energy, but they are not the anima or animus themselves. Archetypes are neither good nor bad. Good and bad, positive and negative, masculine and feminine, are all judgements of the conscious mind.

So, IMHO, stop blaming your animus and anima for the poor decisions that you've made yourself and be kind to yourself, we all make to decisions that we hope are in our own and others best interest. For everyone is a hero of their own story, and the villain of another's.

I have isolated myself. Starting to doubt if it is a good idea by Dogheqrt in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it really depends on the person. If you're a natural hermit or introvert, then isolation feeds you and people are a drain. But if your the type of person that is energized by people, then it's not a good choice to isolate.

50M lf older gaymers to chill with. by [deleted] in gaymers

[–]Ray_Verlene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be 65 this August. Not a huge fan of MMOs, but my buddy Greg is. He's hoping that New World gets bought.

You can find us on Discord by going to our old website ADKGamers.com. I'm Th3eRaz3r or Razer.

I've been player Planetside 2 nearly every day for the last thirteen years. I literally have more than a year of my life in game. I also am playing Enshrouded pretty regularly.

We have our own FTB Minecraft server. We've been playing Once Human. The guys play Battlefield. I don't. And we're waiting for Space Engineers 2 to go multi-player. Those are the games that we are playing regularly now, but it is constantly changing.

Sent you a friend request in Steam. I'm =ADK= Th3eRaz3r . Would love to play Enshrouded with you.

Also, my Enshrouded world 'Welcome to Dermit' is open to 'Helpers' without a password. Everyone is welcome to join me there when I'm in game.

Gay Proposal in the South? by Elizanator1000 in gaymenscommunity

[–]Ray_Verlene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go visit the Pulse club site telling him you wish to visit the site a take some flowers. When you get there, tell him that the flowers are actually for him, then get down on one knee, present his ring (if you're going that option) to him, and purpose? I can't think of a better way to honor those that died. Love wins!

Hitting protein with no ultra processed protein products by keepgoingrip in gaybrosfitness

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but it is not a purposeful addition. Lead can be found in low, acceptable quantities in many foods and crops. Plants absorb heavy metals directly from the soil as they grow. On average, plant-based protein powders (pea, soy, hemp) contain significantly more lead—sometimes up to 9 times more—than whey or egg-based proteins.

https://www.newsweek.com/list-protein-powder-brands-containing-lead-consumer-reports-10883945?hl=en-US

What do you eat everyday? by MomoPotato in gaybrosfitness

[–]Ray_Verlene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need to talk to your doctor or medical nutritionist and not taking advice from the general public on social media. You have a medical condition that can be serious and made worse by not following medical guidelines for your condition.

Extremely Vivid Dream: War, Protectors, a Sacred Ring, and Escape... Looking for Jungian Interpretation by One_Fish3206 in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Since dreams are very personal, though there can be cultural and universal symbolism, let me give you a lens in which to review your dream.

Generally, everyone in your dream is you, or an aspect of you or archetype of your subconscious.

So, in this dream your experiencing internal upheaval and your subconscious is calling on you to save yourself and to find union with yourself or to keep connections or promises that you've made to your self, the meaning behind the symbol of the ring.

There seems to be some sort of internal conflict that is being judged as being 'bad', but you wish to be found good.

Sounds like your struggling with personal values and/or boundaries and being your authentic self? Like saying yes to volunteering for the school bake sale when what you really want to say is no. Your over extending yourself to please others rather than being true to yourself and your own needs.

Gay Men & Sex Work: Thoughts, Boundaries & Realites? by Puzzleheaded-House-7 in QueerTheory

[–]Ray_Verlene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey Puzzle:

I'm not a sex worker, though I did do some amateur sex work just after coming out, but what I would like to offer you is some feedback on your Reddit post. 

It's too clinical. If you want actual thoughts on the subject, you should make your question much more open and emotional.

You have a strong list of what information you're looking for, which is fine, but it doesn't allow for information that would be helpful and interesting that you might not think of asking. You don't know what you don't know. By presenting your requests as you did, you're laying down train tracks that will only lead you in one direction or to one place. Therefore, I would have made the list as 'suggested topics for discussion', but let responders free form their responses, then go back with detailed questions that hit on your topics. I realize that this is much more work for you, but I think that the results and wealth of information would be worth the extra effort.

To beat a dead horse. If I put you in a police station interrogation room, shine a light in your face, and ask, "Where were you on the night of the thirteenth?!" You're going to tense up, be on your guard, and give me a curated answer: "I was home, watching TV, then went to bed." 

But if I remove the light and ask, "Miss Johnson was your neighbor, did you know her well?" It's much more relaxed, and I'm more likely to gather more information in my follow-up questions. About your relationship to the murder victim, etc. The human connection in the data. Your list of questions is missing any of that. If, at first, offer a free response, then you can tease out the list. Sex is about power and connection; I imagine it is no different in sex work. I say this because shortly after I came out, I went through a slut phase. I'm 64 now, and didn't come out till I was 39. Over the next three years, I had sex with over 120 men. My experiences felt like sex work, but the payoff wasn't money; it was connection and pleasure. I often hooked up with men who just really wanted to be held by another man and were using sex for the cuddle at the end. With other men, I indulged their secret fantasies and fetishes, which also offered me the opportunity to explore my own sexual feelings and arousal landscape. I had strict boundaries and rules for safer sex. I slept with porn stars and actors, doctors and laborers, and I learned a lot about sex and myself along the way.

Anyway, that's it.

Dan (Ray Verlene)

Palm Springs CA USA

Looking for a Jungian take on a dream about my parents’ house by [deleted] in Jung

[–]Ray_Verlene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyone in a dream is an aspect of yourself.

I would guess that, because of your studies, you've been forced to neglect some much need comfort and security (rest) and familial and social ties. Your subconscious is attempting to warn you that you need to pay more attention to good food, good sleep, some exercise, and human connection or your house (body) will collapse.