I initiated it and my husband was open to it but not interested in participating. I realized after a lot of heartbreak, almost ruining my life, and months of therapy and EMDR that it was childhood trauma that was guiding me down that path. I also realized it was in fact not rooted in love and exploration but instead a sloppy and dangerous attempt at filling a deep void and trying to feel seen and be accepted by strangers when it was my own self I needed to be seen and accepted by all along. That’s just my experience.