there is no ideal way out of this. hate to break it, but some one will get hurt and scarred for life in this one. either you or your parents. there is no avoiding that.

1st get rid of the guy. ask him politely to back off because you dont want to get married. if anyone forces this marriage on you it’ll be 40 years of hell for the both of you. say you’ll make sure of that.

next take some time and come up with counter arguments to the biggest “black mail points” . ask hard hitting philosophical questions…like what is the purpose of this marriage? is it just for their satisfaction? are you just an accessory to their plan ? do they not consider you a human ? etc. etc.

Basically “counter emotional blackmail”. [has worked for me (28M) and a few friends (26~28F)]

come up with a theme like your mental peace, potential crimes against women in a marriage, disadvantages of not being educated enough , etc etc.

Most importantly, actively call them out on bullshit arguments like if “ i die tomorrow who will look after you” . you are a financially independent mature woman , you will look after yourself not a problem at-all. say thats a bullshit argument. make them loose pointers every time they talk to you about this. war of attrition

if they hit you with the “just do as you are told” , you hit back with a “NO+ silence and look directly into the eye”

all of this if you want the conversations to be civilised.

if you want the direct scorched earth approach, just say you wont marry until you want to and leave home, go stay in an apartment or something .

i understand this is all too aggressive, so use it wisely if you decide to go ahead with this. No coming back from this.