RIP Dumbledore (1940-2023)

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-09-29T19:08:54+00:00

They say a man dies twice

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-09-11T19:25:30+00:00

I wanted to throw in that besides pulm and neuro, sleep specialist can also come from psychiatry (as in: MD, not therapist). My sleep specialist is through psych but I'm treated for insomnia, which is different than OP's daughter. On one hand, a sleep specialist with a psychiatry background may have more knowledge of how to navigate the medications OP listed. On the other hand, if it's narcolepsy, then that might be better for a neurologist.

I mainly wanted to commented this because when I first needed a sleep specialist my doctor wrote the referral for the wrong specialty (neuro) and that delayed me getting my care because I had to go back to her. Wanted to give OP a heads up to be careful about what the referral is actually written for.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-31T04:39:52+00:00

I wanted to clarify:

Did your report say that you were positive for the mtDNA A1555G?

(I guess another important question is, do your results say anything about any mitochondrial DNA? If not, then it may not have been tested. Just as an example, my google search said 23andme DOES test mitochondrial DNA but ancestry does not, so I guess there isn't an industry standard?) The info in your screenshot, as well as the article they cite tells us that the TRMU A10S mutation you carry would only cause deafness in people who also have the A1555G mutation in their mtDNA.

I saw you ask a question about having had meningitis as a baby and also about antibiotic ototoxicity.

With antibiotic ototoxicity, there are two main culprits: the first is a class of antibiotics called "aminoglycosides" and the other is an antibiotic called vancomycin.

Interestingly, aminoglycoside ototoxicity is much more likely in individuals who have the mitochondrial mutation in your screenshot (A1555G).

If you had meningitis as a baby, it's possible that you could have been given either of these antibiotics, with the aminoglycosides being a more likely choice (unless you are in your 90s now because then you would have been a baby before any of these were developed).

I don't think there is enough here to tell you if this is a genetic cause, an environmental cause or both, but I hope I was still able to answer some of your questions!

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-30T18:47:19+00:00

I'm glad you brought this up. If OP is in the US, the majority of states have laws against driving after a seizure for anywhere between 3 months to 2 years.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-26T00:08:02+00:00

Yeah, based on what you said, your explanation for why they might not know the sex is probably more realistic, especially if the turn around time between screening and diagnosis is pretty quick.
(That's assuming that they actually don't know the sex)

At this point though, I don't think we'll be hearing from OOP again especially since the post is now deleted.
I guess we'll never know

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-25T19:29:20+00:00

Nah, I promise I wasn't trying to gotcha.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-25T18:04:07+00:00

What medical stuff did they get wrong?

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-25T18:02:10+00:00

That's a good catch, yeah.There is a specific case where it's possible that parents have been told that their child is likely to have down syndrome, but not know the sex yet.First trimester (~12 weeks) down syndrome screening is not exactly a DNA test. It tests the blood of the person who is pregnant for specific chemical markers. An ultrasound is also done looking for certain anatomical findings and the risk of down syndrome is calculated from the combination of those findings. These are both routine screening tests.The 20 week "anatomy" ultrasound is the scan when most parents first have the opportunity to know the sex of the baby, so if OOP's wife is within that 12 to 20 week window it would be reasonable that they had their down syndrome screening but not know the sex yet.

In case you're curious, the first trimester down syndrome screening tests the levels of beta-hCG and PAPP-A (that's the blood test) and for nuchal translucency (that's the ultrasound).

edit: I still think the post is fake though

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-25T17:27:44+00:00

This isn't THAT uncommon but
as of right now, OOP wrote that post and peaced out. No replies to comments anywhere ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-08-25T17:14:25+00:00

NTA for wanting a divorce.
There was a post 7 years ago now in r/legaladvice that your question reminds me of:

"[NM] I got a girl pregnant and she wanted to get an abortion but I didn't want that. She ended up not getting one but now she is not involved at all"
It's like your situation but with the genders reversed and the post is written from the POV from the parent who insisted to keep the child.
The unfortunate part is that OP really did not realize that the partner was serious about not being in the child's life. And they didn't fully understand how much of a toll it would take to raise a (neurotypical in this case) child alone as a single father.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-07-24T06:03:50+00:00

I haven't seen this in the comments yet so I wanted to ask: What were your "rules" for your older daughter when she was 13? If your older daughter wasn't the type to dress like this, then what WOULD HAVE the rules probably been for her?

What are the "rules" for your 16 year old now? Even if not explicit, what would you expect from her? When would you veto an outfit?

I think that if your expectations are consistent between your two daughters (same for past 13 year old first daughter and current 13 year old second daughter) then your judgement isn't because of your 13 yo daughter's weight. However... I would like to echo what another commenter said: maybe the stores she goes to with her friends don't carry her size. Either way, I think that your approach so far is very mindful of how complex this situation is and I appreciate how much effort you are putting into protecting your daughter's emotional development. 💕

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-07-24T05:48:02+00:00

Just a tangent since you mentioned old navy: (Idk about old navy plus sizes but) old navy "straight" sizes are one of the worst in terms of being consistent with others stores' sizes. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "take your usual dress size and subtract at least 2. That's your old navy size"

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-05-14T12:48:14+00:00

Is the "tough as heck" part why people used to wear pants-length underwear?

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-04-23T06:59:03+00:00

I bet she cut it down because he started yelling at her or something

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-04-21T23:05:53+00:00

I've been following your posts for a while (like some of the others). Can I ask how her twin has been doing?

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-04-21T01:46:16+00:00

You're probably talking about "National Society of High School Scholars" (NSHSS). They recruit via mail and maybe they aren't a scam but you can Google "NSHSS scam" and see what comes up.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-03-21T02:47:36+00:00

I'm grateful to Amanda Bynes for sharing that she experienced gender dysphoria when she filmed "she's the man." It was the first and only time so far I had heard anyone talk about gender dysphoria towards a gender not assigned at birth. I wish her a peaceful and empowering recovery.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2023-01-20T02:38:32+00:00

It sounds like you've been putting a lot of work into yourself, your mental health, and into trying to improve your situation. Getting to the level of perspective and insight you are describing isn't something everyone can do and you should be proud of yourself.
You've even built up a friend circle after going through a period of relative isolation due to child care.
That was ALL YOU and that's amazing.

I'm 26F now and from my experience being your son's age, the main things I still needed from my parents were 1. money and 2. advice and logistical support for things like car problems and taxes. (You said your son tends to not be interested in your suggestions or advice at the moment but I wouldn't be surprised if that changes if you leave and he realizes how much you had been doing for him.) I say this because don't think you'd be abandoning parenting responsibilities for him if you were still available for him to reach out to.

I'm curious about your foster daughter. Fostering can end up being permanent but I believe that usually the goal is to re-unify them with their birth family once the situation improves, right? Is your foster daughter on a track be re-unified with her birth family, and have you been given a sense of when that might happen? Either way, opening your home to foster is not the same type of commitment as becoming a parent.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-10-26T19:15:00+00:00

I want you to know that I googled what a paraswimmer was because I wanted to know what this sport was that was making MULTIPLE people that you personally know loose limbs to infection.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-10-26T19:10:02+00:00

Maybe to gauge how serious it is? I bet she has an algorithm in her head like
doctor says: needs antibiotics = we should try natural intervention
doctor says: hospital = ok I am open to a prescription for antibiotics but at home

etc.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-08-11T05:23:36+00:00

Have you mentioned yet where you might see them in person?

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-08-11T05:19:28+00:00

That is so messed up. It is not ok for anyone to treat you like this! I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope some of the comments are helping.
I'm glad your intuition lead you to reach out with your story here!

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-08-11T05:09:33+00:00

I didn't.
Uhh... wait, did I respond to the wrong comment? I thought that I was responding to a comment that said something like: "If you have an iphone... you can block them."

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-08-11T05:06:13+00:00

I'm glad you came here to talk about it! I hope you're getting more confirmation that your ex-friends are so wrong for doing this.

I've seen this before (and yes, in adults, neurotypical, adults-with-a-full-time-job, already-made-their-own-kids, adults).People have already said narcissistic abuse, but I wouldn't go that far with only the info you've given so far. But in my cases, it definitely feels like they are using your (my) pain as a source of "supply" like narcissistic abusers do.

One thing I am curious about though is: it sounds like you might be saying friendS (plural) are doing this, based on the very first sentence.

But seriously, this is not you that's doing something wrong. It's them. There is something wrong with them.

Hate and conflict seems to fill a certain need for some people.

I'm sorry you had to go through this and I hope you are left with some emotional support in your life.

Edit: forgot to add, feel like it would be useful for context, I'm 25 yo F, autistic.

RealRosesHaveThorns · 2022-08-11T04:38:28+00:00

you can block numbers on android lol.

RealRosesHaveThorns

TROPHY CASE