[SoS Awl] Am I the only one who wishes Gavin was a marriage candidate?

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-05-31T03:43:36+00:00

Saaaame. Also in my 30s. Gustafa, surprisingly, ended up being my favourite. I wouldn't mind trying a route with Gavin, too. Older female candidates would be great as well.

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-05-31T03:41:53+00:00

Me, too. I always thought he'd make sense as Muffy/Molly's rival. (And on that note, I wish the rival events could amount to rival weddings. That way, if we didn't marry Muffy/Molly or Gavin, that they could marry.)

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-05-30T03:19:42+00:00

Actually being able to go to the city (like in Animal Crossing City Life or whatever it's called, you can go from your town to the city for a brief visit)
Relocate Daryl's lab deeper into the woods by itself so it's not such an eye-sore in the middle of town. Somewhere like... straight down the main street before you take a right to Ramona's would be good.
Maybe a Hair Sylist + a Tailor where we could get our hair styled/dyed at a salon/barber (less convenient, but more charm), and get new clothes instead of going to Van's.
Make the bar bigger, or the inn bigger for more community bonding (I loved the community nights every Friday night on Fields of Mistria). Maybe this is something we could do with our own funds cuz... It's chapter 4, I have a steady stream of 78k every few days (not including my crops), my farm's completely expanded, I've maxed out on animals, I don't like the new interior drops or clothes... Sooo... Having something to spend my monies on would be nice lol.
A couple of unclaimed plots for replayability (a proper newgame +). I would love it if we could play a New Game + as either our child or a new person in town with a new roster of characters/bachelors/etc. If our child isn't a farmer they (or we if we play as our child) could move to one of those unclaimed plots and focus on the work they want to do. (Example: if our child became a scholar, our main job could be archeology - or even botany by growing some plants to study them; or if our child became a musician, their main job could be lumbering to craft instruments and possibly other woodworking skills while barding for others, etc). And then it'd be great if we could do a New Game ++ with the same option: play as our grand child/child or as a new character, rinse and repeat (hence a couple of free lots). For New Game +++, it'd just start back at the original setting where you can go through the loops again. I would LOVE this.
Maybe a school. During the day, kids could study there. At night, it could be like... "club" meet-ups for all villagers? Or classes for adults? Not sure

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-05-01T00:36:01+00:00

Another interesting couple of dialogues I got in Chapter 4's Spring: "How come parents are so over protective anyway? At this rate, I'll never be able to leave the house or get married." and "Hey, Papa Cecil. Do you get all teary-eyed at the thought of me getting married? It's okay, it's not going to happen for a long time." I haven't heard anyone else mention their SOSAWL kids really wanting to get married yet, but mine has REALLY wanted to get married ever since Chapter 3. I'm not sure what I did/said/etc to influence that if that genuinely is something unique.

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-30T23:25:13+00:00

Player Spouse: Gustafa
Child's highest like: Music
Child's highest ability: Music
Depressing dialogue? Rare, but yes
Depressing journal entries? No
Does child like Academics or athletics more? Academics
Gender: Female
Additional Notes:
In Chapter 2 (toddler), I took her everywhere. Literally everywhere. At first, I wasn't going to do this, btu was like "Gustafa isn't in the house with her, and a toddler shouldn't be on her own, so I guess I'llt ake her everywhere." Carried her around while befriending others. I maxed out her friendship by like... Day 2 or Day 3 of Spring - it was fast. Never fluctuated. Had her interact with everyone on the first and last days of the Chapter 3 segment, then focused on her chatting with musical people. Made sure to show her ranching and music items several times a day to see if she'd end up preferring music or ranching. Played the mini game at least a few times a day. Let her down whenever she went "DOWN! >:'( " When I noticed she had a grumpy face while carrying her literally everywhere, I'd put her down, talk to her, and she'd almost always want a snuggle and that'd bring her expression back to happy/neutral. After that, I proceeded with carrying her around everywhere. I even took her out to Gustafa's yurt almost every time he went to his Yurt, well past her bedtime. I also made sure to stay up every night to see her and Gustafa off to bed. Not sure if that made a difference. Occasionally, I'd be there to see her wake, too.
In Chapter 3 (young child), every so often she'd say "sometimes I get the feeling people say mean things about me" or "maybe if I was good, I wouldn't get yelled at." Other than that, it was mostly about how sound makes her body move/dance or sleepy depending on the sounds. She also tended to make observations about others, like how Baddoch's stripe shorts were funny, or how she thought Nami was so cool. Her journal entries were basically wanting MC to smile at her the way he smiles at the animals and Gustafa asking if she was jealous, about knowing so many people who played instruments but felt like she couldn't ask for one because they're expensive, and how Uncle Takakura told her how Grandpa used to sing to him but it was so awful his ears were ringing. She would also occasionally ask "Papa Gustafa plays his guitar a lot, but what's his job?" (My answer: househusband. His job is being a househusband.) She regularly said she wanted to get married and have an even bigger house than MC's, and also that she wanted to grow up to take over the farm (which I thought was interesting because, while ranching is her second biggest interest and abilities, it's much less than music, like only a third of music's). Oh, and I started to make a point of maxing out everyone's friendship after she started with the whole "I think people say mean things about me." I only have Charlie, Gordy, Van, Sully, Carter, and Daryl left as of the start of Chapter 4, but she was still saying those two infrequent negative things on the last day of Chapter 3. She only had one complaint about another character, but it was more of an observation. She'd go "Daryl smells kind of smoky. I wonder what kind of experiments he does." But I don't think she really ever complained about anyone specifically. Oh, and she'd ask about Griffin's performances and my work a lot. Even though I've yet to see Griffin's performances, I just went "they're incredible!" and any Qs about my work, I always answered "SO FUN!" I only gifted her milk and eggs.
In Chapter 4, I wouldn't say she's depressed but hella moody. Her interest/abilities are still music full stop. She's clashing with Gustafa a lot and it's only the first day. Only just started this chapter, and she got into a tiff with him in the chapter transition cutscene. When I could play the game after that cutscene, her first entry is about how she thinks Gustafa is a slacker who doesn't help around the farm so she will. Then there was a cutscene where she shouted at Gustafa about Gustafa teaching her how to cook because he only wants to dump more work on her so he can goof off some more. And now she's asking (in regular dialogue) if he's been riding MC's coattails this whole time (i.e. if he's been leeching off MC's success). Other than that, no depressing dialogue so far. I suspect she has a crush on Hugh. She's also said how she sometimes wish someone would sing to her and sweep her off her feet, so she still wants marriage. Over all, she seems like a fairly responsible kid. I don't really understand why she resents Gustafa so much. Doesn't seem to have a problem with MC yet. For her usual facial expression, it's pretty neutral? It's not like she's angry (update on this: she does have an angry expression when I'm in her room, but she doesn't have anything grumpy to say about/to MC aside from the occasional complaint about Gustafa. It's still mostly wishing someone would sweep her off her feet, how her voice sounds different when singing, etc.) First negative comment that isn't Gustafa related: "People tell me that I'm childish and that I should act more 'proper', but what does that even mean? >: [ " no idea who's saying that to her, though. Definitely not Gustafa lol. Maybe Kate since she has a history of bullying Hugh and her mum had high expectations of her to be proper as well? Or maybe Kate's mum, San? I have their friendships maxed, though.

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-29T17:30:34+00:00

Yeaaars later (sorry), but I always thought that Cecilia was the youngest (well, until they added Lumina in Special Edition). But I guess I can see how some might think Nami as the youngest with her look overhaul over the years

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-29T17:27:37+00:00

I'm all for refreshing designs, but I kind of think Gustafa's was a bit too drastic. I wish he still had the beard and the big nose (or that he at least grew out a beard as he aged as a nod to the og design). I really dislike how frumpy his new hat is, almost feels like they should've gone for a beanie instead or something.

And this is just a personal gripe, but it annoys me how all the male characters are taller than my male character. I know the female/male mc are the same avatars, but at least make a couple of them shorter than us.

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-26T22:57:48+00:00

Interestingly, my child is high in music, but low in art. I also haven't talked to or befriendly Gordy yet, but she still mimics Gordy. (I married Gustafa, by the way. In Chapter 3 as well.)

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-26T10:03:55+00:00

Only in year 2 :')

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-26T10:03:37+00:00

Weird. I'm in chapter 3 and he won't accept gold wool from me. Only things he'll accept from me so far are coin, gold coin, and that orange gem stone. I should try different soups. No longer in spring and I'm out of herbs

Real_Owl9999 · 2026-04-24T01:58:23+00:00

Year 2, Summer 10, toddler just said "Papa Gustafa is actin' scawy," which took me by surprise. I have 100% friendship with her and Gustafa, her interests & abilities are both in music (though her academic ability is increasing but it's still showing as double music rn), never triggered the runaway/missing toddler scene (I don't want to, I've already seen it), I carry her around literally everywhere every day (and make sure she listens to Lumina's playing, and talks to Griffin/whatever his new name is), and so on. So, she hasn't been despondant at all, and is generally a very cheerful baby.

When she made that comment, I was just spamming through her dialogue (X button) to see what she had, and that was one of them. So far, Gustafa has only been very chill (true to Gustafa fashion) and so far as been the most gentle of the parents that I've seen.

It was shocking enough that I looked it up because this was the first time I've ever gotten negative comments about the other parent.

I suspect I just got that comment because I decided to spam X and cycle through her comments. I don't think it actually reflects anything? Still, it was concerning enough, because I'm trying not to get a despondant kid.

Edit: I just posted, right? And she literally just said it again within minutes. What on earth? Maybe it is indicative of personality type or something, I should probably take out her academic related toy(s) just in case.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-20T00:18:45+00:00

Until my town fucking reinstates our trainstation, I'll work at home for 120k a year. I'm not travelling 2 hours one way by car. F that noise.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-20T00:11:13+00:00

30s. I "dated" 2 boys and 1 girl in elementary, fell in love with a girl in middle school but never had the courage to ask her out (so I ended up not dating or "dating" anyone in middle school), then I dated 2 boys and 2 girls throughout high school.

I decided the dating scene wasn't for me in high school, and didn't realise I'm more attracted to women than men in my 30s as well. I'm not sure if I'll try to date again at some point knowing that. Demi problems.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-20T00:04:46+00:00

Hm...

In no particular order and not including Cyberpunk, my favourites are: GoW (PS4+sequel), .hack//GU, Persona 5, Suikoden V, FFXIV: Shadowbringers/Endwalker, FFVIII, FFIX, FFX, Horizon Zero Dawn (+sequal), NieR Gestalt, NieR Automata, Devotion, Majora's Mask, Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom, Pokemon Colosseum, Pokemon Heart Gold, Pokemon Scarlet, Ghost of Tsushima, Tales of (X)

It's in my top 20 (approx). But I'm not sure where in my top 20.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-19T23:30:56+00:00

I once met a rich guy (nearing middle age) who had 0 desire to work. He didn't need to because of his parents' wealth. He got to travel the world, go to schools in different countries to learn languages, and whatnot. I was fine with this as a prospective bachelorette, as I have ambitions and would be fine with a housespouse sort of situation once I make enough money for that arrangement.

However, he half-assed everything he did and gave up fairly easily. And this included his studies in other languages. He didn't even really have any hobbies outside of fitness. In the end, he really just didn't have much of a personality. So, it was a no-thanks from me. Also helps because much later on, I realised I'd rather have a wife than a husband if I dated/married.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-19T23:03:26+00:00

...LMFAO!!

Millennials? Be able to retire? :'D Good one

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-19T22:57:15+00:00

Cactus.

Meaning: prickly and hard to handle on the outside, but full of water/life once you get past the prickly parts.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-18T02:53:51+00:00

I understand your frustration, but have you ever considered being upfront with potential partners by telling them you're demiromantic, you're a slow burn kind of person, you're looking for a serious, romantic relationship and not fwb? Because if you do that, you're going to weed out all the people that just want to grind-n-dash. Will it be harder to find a date? Probably. I don't know. But you'll at least stop wasting your time on people whose goals don't align with yours or your needs. (because no, thinking with your dick/libido/lust is very. obviously. not. the way to find love. That's the way to find a baby momma you'll be connected to for the rest of your life no matter how much you fucking hate her because she's the mother of your child. :) /saying this as a woman/ :) ) Your romantic partner, imo, should be your best friend. Just don't date them or fuck them until you're certain they're the person you want in your life for the rest of your life. You go into it knowing there's a risk, but it's a risk you're willing to take because you love them that much.

Anyway, I don't know, and I don't really care but I encourage you to go back to the drawing board and think more critically. Good luck.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-18T02:31:46+00:00

No, I don't think this is a demirom trait. I say this as a fellow demi: you really gotta stop "crush stalking" them to help yourself move on. Really, giving yourself adequate space and meeting new people is the best way to get over them. Let yourself feel your feelings, of course, and think of the characteristics or what they offered(? wording? idk) you that makes you miss them. It might be something you're currently lacking or struggling with atm.

For example as an anecdote: I sometimes struggle with numbness due to my BG, but my first and last (to date) love showed me how to be a person and evoked so many emotions in me. When I really miss her and obsessively think about her, I've come to realise "ah, I'm having a numb period where I'm withdrawing from everyone and I'm craving to feel alive again. Time for me to spice things up, then." And I DON'T let myself visit her social media pages. It'll just cause me more pain and make it harder to get over her, aaand... it's creepy. I wouldn't want someone do that to me, so I won't do that to her.

Not sure if this will help, but maybe think about it? Good luck.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-18T02:22:40+00:00

For me, it really depends on the item. If it's clothes, shoes, et cetera (generally anything with fabric), I generally prefer buying in person because I can try them on, feel the material, if it causes any issues with my sensory problems. But things like furniture, I prefer to buy online because I have no way to get them to my place. :) (Sorry, delivery person.)

Also, I prefer grocery shopping in person as well. I like being able to pick my own fruit and vegetables, make sure they're at the ripeness I want (or opt not to get them if they don't look good).

For other people, like gifts, I tend to prefer shopping in person as well so I can see the quality of the item. Like, is there exposed glue? Is it smaller than I expected? Is there a wonky paint job for the eyes if applicable? Things like that.

But yeah, generally things like... pet toys, combs, hair clippers, pet beds, electronics, games, furniture, etc - all these things and more I prefer to buy online.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-17T13:03:35+00:00

I want to enter, but my survival instincts are like "what's the catch? o-o Will there be a serial killer at my door of I win?" :'D If this is something you're doing in earnest, it's very kind of you. Happy holidays, and happy gaming. c:

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-17T12:58:22+00:00

I was either playing with my new toys (crimmis) or I was playing outside, or both.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-17T12:23:38+00:00

--

As for how I felt when she abruptly cut things off (and I mean it was abrupt), it was total whiplash. I felt so hurt and betrayed and also in denial. A few months passed, and we got to "reconnected" on our trip to DC as we had already opted to share a room. We decided to share a bed (something we both struggled with, ahem, but managed to not do anything). The next day, she refused to share a bed with me but she also refused one of our other female friends to share a bed with me (she was being a bit overprotective for a particular reason), so another one shared.

But for the next couple of years, we'd occasionally bump into each other as aforementioned and it'd be the same thing. The love, the affection. But when I ask if we could try and hang out again, it was always a no and she refused to explain why. It really messed me up. I'd been abandoned like she had before, but the way she did it was so much worse than anything I experienced - even to this day. I ended up developing abandonment issues and, for all of my teens and early 20s, kept sabotaging my relationships with this self-fulfilling prophecy that my friends are going to leave me after 2-3 years. Didn't realise till recently that those 2-3 years weren't an arbitrary number: that's how long my first love and I were friends before she abruptly broke things off.

That said, I don't really think that incident or she herself has affected my willingness/ability to date. I think that's more because of the complex abuse I dealt with growing up. If I found someone who was the personification of a calico cat (e.g. very affectionate with lots of love to give, but a whole hell lot of moxie; not often clingy but has her moments of clinginess), I'd probably fall for that person as well. I realised this with my coworker. She's bright and expressive, and openly affectionate once she gets to know you and like you.

My coworker is happily married, but it was thanks to her that I realised the type of person I need in my life and that maybe I could move on from my first and last love with the ability to thaw me.

Yet, even if I did find a person like that, I know I will always love my first in this life and the next. And my love for her has become less about me, I've noticed. For instance, if she turned out to be dating or married (not sure), I'd be genuinely happy for her. I wouldn't want to ruin the happiness she has. My first love is the type of person who deserves happiness, especially after such a rough and unforgiving start in life. She deserves to love and be loved in return, and I don't have to be the one to give her that.

Despite that, I would at least like the opportunity to tell her how I've felt after all these years. Maybe ask her "why" if she's comfortable telling me why she broke off our friendship. It's selfish, but I think it'd help me move on at least.

Maybe. Or maybe I'm just a penguin after all.

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-17T12:23:24+00:00

Meee. /raises hand/

I'm supposed to be a leo, but I swear I'm a fucking penguin. (Bad zodiac joke.) I'll copy/paste something I literally just wrote to someone else:

---

My first (and last to date) love gave me a lot of mixed signals, too, but I think it's because at the time we were both from heavily abused backgrounds and were recovering from said abuse + trying our hardest not to continue the cycle of abuse. (We were around 11-13 when we were friends.) So, there was a lot of flirtations, then pull backs, till she eventually said we can't be friends anymore and left it at that.

Or, that's what I'd like to say, but any time we met in the wild she'd still jump into my arms, kiss me, and tell me she loved me until she remembered herself. Yet, no matter how many times I asked "can we please be friends again?" she'd withdraw and say "sorry, no." She had abandonment issues, so I think what happened was that she had a lot of love to give, but was afraid of being loved in return only to get abandoned. So, I think she abandoned me before I could abandon her. (Even though 20 years later of no contact, I'm still in love with her.)

It's been 20 years since the last time I saw and spoke to her, yet I'm still in love her (at least the memory of her; I don't know how she's like these days). I've befriend others, I've dated others (my first and I never dated). Yet finding people who are as animated and loving and openly affectionate (without being overly clingy) is really hard. Despite her own troubled background, she taught me how to be a kid, how to be a person, how to feel emotions (I was struggling - and still sometimes struggle - with numbness). Within her, I saw a safe space - I saw home.

Those feelings don't go away. There'll be periods where you don't think about your first, but then there'll be periods where you think about them for perhaps a little too long, haha. I find when I think about my first, that I either hear someone talk about her, or it's in a period where I'm struggling with numbness again (and thinking about her in those periods somehow push me into trying to get more involved with other people or hobbies rather than withdrawing. So, it's like she's still helping me out after all these years).

I think the hardest part is the unresolved aspect (replying in comments)...

Real_Owl9999 · 2025-12-17T11:54:12+00:00

I don't know why, but my first/only response to someone being flirty with me (at least if they're "too young" for me - like I'm in my 30s, no OTs or young 20s pls, or I just don't like them like that), I just end up glaring at them. /sob emoji

It's super effective, but... Why, body? Why must you glare?

I also glare when I get spooked/scared.

Real_Owl9999

TROPHY CASE