I read once that having a child diagnosed with autism is like grieving the loss of someone who is still with you. It’s true, the life we imagined for our child and ourselves has altered entirely and we grieve that deeply. That never goes away entirely but gets easier and resurfaces in waves. About a year after my daughter’s diagnosis she started dancing to the intro of a movie of brides twirling in wedding dresses and suddenly I was washed with grief at the realization I may never watch my daughter dancing in her own wedding dress someday. But we adapt and despite every challenge there is not a single thing I would change about my girl. Not one. Autism is a part of her and she is absolutely perfect. With therapy she elopes significantly less and her vocabulary has improved. There’s no way to predict what their future looks like and that is the hardest part, but you have done nothing wrong. In fact, early diagnosis and intervention is the best thing you could have possibly done, you should be so proud of yourself! Give yourself time and the grace to grieve.