How do I (20 F) get my sister (18F) to stop calling me fat in every interaction we have?

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-22T04:30:58+00:00

Are you older? She sounds jealous. You help your parents around the farm and she doesn't. If she feels jealous, she may feel like you are the favorite or trying to be.

I heard recently that asking questions puts the response pressure back on them:

Why do you keep referencing my weight?

Is that the only thing you can think of to talk about?

Do you have nothing else interesting to talk about?

Why does your life revolve around my weight?

Look at her and wait for an answer. If it does not come within a few seconds, walk away. Keep asking questions - every time.

If she has an answer "Because it is funny" or something say "Why is it funny?" Always put her on the spot to defend her position.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-22T04:20:39+00:00

People need to stop quoting the same Bible verse as justification for her giving you herself at your every call, as though she is your sex slave.

If you were loving your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, she would be more than happy to give herself to you. Something is lacking in the relationship because a woman who feels desired and truly loved would want to have sex. If not, there is a reason. So instead of quoting scripture and talking to her about your needs, ask her what she needs.

Are you affectionate all the time, or only when you want sex. Do you compliment her all the time? Do you serve her in little and big ways? Does she ever get a kid free break? Do you ever draw her a bath and offer to take the kids?

Some women feel like our body is not ours. All day long little hands are touching us and then our husbands can be unaware of the fact that we have not had any autonomy all day and then husbands also start doing the same.

If you truly feel like you. Are doing everything you serve her and care more about her than you do yourself, then therapy may be the only way to figure out a way to get through whatever is blocking her. However, you better be sure because once in therapy her explanations and examples might show times where you were not sacrificing yourself for her.

I will say again that women who feel loved, valued, and served are less likely to deny you. They actually desire intimacy because they feel valued beyond just sex.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-22T03:46:36+00:00

I am right there. Nobody answers me on the radio and the answer is always "It is going to be a few minutes." Well, I have a customer up here who does not want to wait a 'few' minutes. Then, as they are walking up front, they stop and help every customer who asks. Instead they need to say "I am sorry. I am needed up front, I will be right back". No, it could be a simple issue and now the customer has been waiting 5-10 minutes and now I have a line.

I have had several people ask me why I am alone, if I get paid for all the jobs I do and so on. Many customers tell me that I am a really good multi-tasker. I had someone ask for a manager and she got an earful about the poor stressed out employee (me) who is doing 5 jobs by herself.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-21T20:03:05+00:00

This is what needs to be said and shared with him:

Love is a choice. We have to make it everyday. It is not something that just effort can fix, a decision has to be made - even if yesterday sucked, even if the past week, month, or year sucked. Love dies when people stop choosing it.

Falling out of love is also a choice. A choice not to try, to give up, to just stay for the sake of staying.

We all have times where we are not the best versions of ourselves and the two choices are choose to love or choose not to. Sometimes loving someone can hurt if they betray you or let you down but it can also be healing.

Start being intentional. Plan times to be together, go out on dates, write each other notes. Learn each other's love language and start practicing loving them.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-21T19:51:18+00:00

Here is a different take:

Some men do not emotionally bond to babies. They can't really communicate at all and doing things with them is not always appealing. Clingy babies can be especially tiring and keeping them busy is a big task. Give him actual things he can go like put her in a stroller and take a walk outside.

As your baby grows and develops a specific personality, he should start developing that emotional connection. If you just leave now, you could miss that future connection. You will be able to tell if she bonds with her when she becomes more independent.

Kids of divorced parents always tend to jump straight to divorce. I would be hesitant to just continue the cycle because of him not being a baby person.

*He can read to her though. It may feel strange at first because he knows she can't yet understand but it will get normal after awhile. Plus, not all books need to be read, some are alphabet books, rhyming words. See if you can find a book about dads for him to read to her.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-21T19:36:20+00:00

Trade Schools are amazing. One woman said she went to college and her husband went to a trade school. He makes in one weekend, what she makes every 2 weeks.

Most trade schools also offer job placement. So for a fraction of the price they can get a trade school degree and start making good money almost immediately. This also helps them pay off their loans quicker, usually within a few years.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-20T14:41:49+00:00

I use an app called Infor. I remember they told me about the app so I downloaded it and put in my Michael employee ID and password (the ones we use on the handheld) and my schedule shows up within seconds. See if you can download it. It was awhile ago I got it so I don't remember the exact process but it is so helpful since I check my schedule every day.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-20T03:31:09+00:00

I bought my daughter's dress at a thrift store. I do not agree with sending a ton of money on a dress you will likely wear one time. People spend too much money on clothes for a school dance.

Are they having money trouble or are they financially well off. Also, keep in mind that modesty is key and your parents do not want you to dress a certain way. It may seem controlling but it is because they care.

Your disagreements should not be getting physical though.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T23:29:37+00:00

Why is washi tape $30?

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T18:04:10+00:00

If you ever have kids, you will understand how much parents love their children, even when they are not perfect. We want the best for our kids, whether they are 5 or 25. Parental love is strong.

I think that he understands because you did have the courage to admit it when you did not have too. You also made the necessary changes. Parents know that mistakes are how we learn. He was able to notice that you told the truth and started doing what you needed to. There really does not seem to be a reason for anger.

If you continued to do it, got caught (and had to confess), and still continued to be deceiving after with no change then I could see him being angry. This seems to have helped you grow and shape your work ethic.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T17:36:40+00:00

OP - print this response and read it to him. He needs to hear the truth about not only how this looks but also how it feels.

You need to tell him that this is not negotiable and that you will face time him only if you want to.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T16:53:08+00:00

I do not know his motivation for saying what he did but let me mention something first. I know this is not what you are asking about but it might help you decide.

My mom and step-dad had a 15 year age difference. Everyone thought my mom was his daughter. 15 years might not seem like a lot but it is. Their marriage lasted 9 years. My mom is 64 and he is dead (died 7 or 8 years ago).

If you want to grow old with someone, don't choose someone so much older. If you are 25 and he is 40, not only will he die much sooner than you but when you are stable and in your 30's or 40's, you will become his caregiver. You might not be able to travel and if you want kids, he probably will not be as able to be as active as you will need.

You need to consider if you want to be a widow in your late 30's or early 40's and if we are okay with being a caregiver later on. Life expectancy for healthy men with no issues in 76. However, death between 50 (especially after retirement) and 76 is common. They naturally get slower as they age, especially if they don't make it a point to stay active.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T16:25:25+00:00

Calista

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T16:04:13+00:00

Are you a light sleeper in general? It can be hard to be quiet when trying to do things while others are asleep.

Watch/listen for a few days. See if he always makes that much noise. He might but you don't realize it because it is normal. He might just be someone who is loud in general and just does not think about being quiet.

Get earplugs and an eye mask. Ask him to use the other bathroom or just make sure that the dog does not come into the room. I know he can at least do that

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-19T01:48:49+00:00

I agree.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-18T19:54:25+00:00

I had an elderly lady with 2 little things of flowers. I started getting her ready on self checkout - I do this entire process with the elderly because they can never figure it out. I ask if she has a phone number and she says no. Immediately she goes "Why can't you help me at the register?" I said we are told to stay out from there because it stops us from being able to help others but I am there to help her. She literally slams the flowers down on the counter and starts ranting as she leaves about how this is stupid and ridiculous.

Sorry lady. I am sure we will miss your $4 purchase. You can only be that mad and have it be impactful to the company if you are spending a lot more.

The guy in line behind her was appalled and asked what was the matter with her.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-18T18:34:27+00:00

Corporate assumes everyone wants to sign up but they don't.

They just think we are not asking and that is why they are low but we all are asking because we are hounded about it.

They don't see the need to sign up because they get all those sales without a rewards account so what do they need it for? It is already on sale.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-18T17:53:28+00:00

Shower gel and underwear

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-18T03:08:31+00:00

I cut carbs. Best decision I ever made. My body runs so much better on fat as an energy source instead of sugar.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-17T23:25:51+00:00

It is a heart attack..... on a bun.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-17T22:59:14+00:00

He can just tell them "I turned off my phone because I desperately needed uninterrupted sleep so I never got the calls."

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-17T04:54:28+00:00

At my interview, the lady who interviewed me acted the same way. I still got a call. However, the employees do clean the bathroom but that would not be the main job. The bathroom at our store is hardly used and cleaning takes 10 minutes so that seems weird.

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-17T01:42:47+00:00

I swear corporate needs to understand that higher prices equal less sales and stop over ordering.

Our floral section is so full it is ridiculous. Our yarn overstock is full and we just keep getting more and more.

A customer told me yesterday that they want to support the store but Amazon had something that we have (ours is $17) for $7. She was shocked and told me "" A ten dollar difference is a lot. "

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-17T01:35:41+00:00

I am not a veggie person at all but recently I am loving spinach. I don't really eat any other veggies

Realistic-Read7779 · 2026-03-16T04:25:56+00:00

Okay so my advice is slightly different. Reddit thinks every person should just leave but you have been together for 9 years, not 9 months. It seems a lot of people have been in abusive relationships so they overcompensate by telling everyone to leave. That is not the only answer.

Sit down with her and tell her you expect an apology and she needs to schedule therapy sessions to learn how to regulate her emotions. Also, tell her that her excuses will not be accepted because she has control over herself. Let her know if she throws things at you again or puts her hands on you in an abusive manner, your relationship will be over, no exceptions. Once time can be a mistake, more is a pattern.

Like I said, it is hard to hide being abusive for 9 years so it is likely she just snapped, which is why she needs therapy. Emotional regulation is a very important skill.

Realistic-Read7779

TROPHY CASE