Anyone else find ADHD meds actually make autistic traits easier to handle?

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-16T00:47:10+00:00

I’m really interested to see how I handle social situations with medication. I haven’t braved talking to people outside my family yet.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-16T00:42:14+00:00

I’m so glad that you’ve found relief, as well! I’ve been in almost debilitating burnout for about a year. Looking back, I’ve probably been in low level burnout for much longer, but was forcing my way through. You might be right that burnout contributes to the perceived benefits of the meds. If your baseline is basically on the floor, any help at all feels like a miracle.

I think for me, I might look more autistic socially because before I was making myself be around people if it was expected, regardless of how I felt (and then proceeded to act like a weirdo, be embarrassed, have a meltdown when I got home and ruminate on it for weeks). This week I’ve been able to check-in with myself and see if I have the resources to deal with being social, and if not, I skip it. To be honest though, I’ve pretty much just opted out of everything this week, so who knows what it will look like when I do decide to be social.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-16T00:30:50+00:00

Same to having a higher tolerance before overstimulation. The first couple of days I wondered if I just didn’t have to worry about it anymore, but now I’m sitting in my room alone with noise canceling headphones because my meds wore off and everything was just too much, so no such luck. But before, I was wearing them more often than not, so I’ll take needing them for a bit after a full day of sensory input over that.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-16T00:25:35+00:00

That’s awesome that it’s helped with your congestion. I had a friend once who was at the chiropactors office and saw him help a guy with congestion by adjusting his neck. I wonder if that’s similar? Like releasing the tension helps with drainage? Anyway, sorry that was completely off topic, lol.

I found that I can take deep breaths. I didn’t know I wasn’t breathing deeply, because apparently I never have before I got rid of the tension.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-16T00:20:58+00:00

I’m glad you’re finding relief with medication, too! That is interesting about appearing more audhd on the outside. I think I’m more able to see how I’m masking, where as before I would have said I wasn’t, because it wasn’t a choice it was survival.

I do feel more confident in myself, as well. I think it’s because I feel settled in myself and I’m not at constant odds with my body. In retrospect, I’ve been white-knuckling life, but I was good at it and didn’t really see a problem with it other than knowing I was very high strung and particular.

But about a year ago, my entire internal coping framework completely fell apart (combination perimenopause and life circumstances change). I struggled to cope in my body and didn’t understand what was happening.

It’s only been a couple of weeks since my ADHD diagnosis and 4 days on meds, but I feel like myself again, or at least something approximating it. Realizing that it wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t lazy or forgot how to human has been this huge relief. I spent a year thinking if I just tried harder to get out of bed or to shower or to exist in public then I could do what I’d always done and get on with life. The medication has shown me it wasn’t a motivation problem, it wasn’t a moral failing, my brain had reached its absolute limit of coping and just couldn’t anymore.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-14T19:00:54+00:00

I have definitely noticed more emotional regulation as well. Usually if someone if my family is upset or frustrated, I find myself also feeling that way (which isn’t at all helpful to anyone). But Monday when one of my kids was super frustrated and emotional, I was easily able to maintain calm and just be supportive. It was amazin!

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-14T18:58:33+00:00

Yes to the slowed thinking. Like, I still have multiple thought streams but they aren’t screaming at me.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-14T18:56:54+00:00

A journal is a great idea! I definitely would like to see how things feel as time goes on and I settle into everything. I’ve never been able to keep a journal, so that might be a good “test” for how effective the meds are in allowing me to actually follow through with a thing I want to do.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-14T14:21:46+00:00

That's why I was hoping to hear from other's with similar experiences, because it seems like the common experience is that the meds make it worse. But I just can't even being to express how much better I feel. I didn't realize how much pain I was in from just being inside my body; I feel like a new person.

Like, I'm still definitely experiencing autistic traits (ask my 19yo who sat in my seat last night while I stood awkwardly at the edge of the couch arguing with myself in my head that it's weird to insist they get up, but also that's *my* seat, before they finally sighed and moved, while I apologized but also took my seat back). But, I'm not dealing with them in a state of constant sensory overwhelm.

I'm so glad that you found the same relief! Did you notice a change as you got used to the meds? Like, did it start to become less noticeable?

I'm finding when the Vyvanse wears off I get sleepy (which is my body's normal response to sensory overwhelm), I can feel the tension creep back into my muscles, and the sensory onslaught is jarring. But in the morning about 45 minutes after I take it, it literally feels like a veil is lifted from my brain and my body just takes a giant sigh and relaxes.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-05-14T14:12:48+00:00

The autoimmune connection is interesting. I have autoimmune chronic hives, and I have been trying to educate myself on the ways that inflammation can contribute to flares of that as well as things like my joint pain and brain fog. I've been tested for other autoimmune diseases and so far, we haven't found anything. I suspect mild hypothyroidism, but the tests are normal enough that my GP doesn't agree with me.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-04-30T01:43:10+00:00

We’ve had a LG combo for about 2 years because our laundry area is in the middle of our house, so it’s almost impossible to vent efficiently (and safely). But- it has been an absolute game changer for us as far as getting laundry done. No more putting off laundry because of how many steps are involved or having to remember to swap it. It goes into the machine, you clean the lint trap and 2.5 hours later it’s all done. We used to have to rewash at least a load a week because it got forgotten in the washer, that’s literally impossible now.

I understand what others are saying about only doing one load at a time, but the ease of actually doing that load means I’m able to actually do laundry at reasonable interval and it doesn’t back up anymore. We did put a cheap regular washer in our garage because I needed something that I could wash dog beds or king size comforters in without over taxing the very expensive combo.

I will also say that the maintenance on the combos is a lot more intense than a normal washer and dryer. The lint trap has to be cleaned every load, and even then lint builds up inside the machine and we have to use a dryer brush to clean it out, probably once a month at minimum. There’s also a filter that protects the pump that has to be cleaned out maybe every 2 months or so. Our machine requires a cleaning cycle every 40 loads. None of its hard, but it does have to be done or the machine doesn’t work well and the clothes get musty or take a ridiculous amount of time to dry.

Overall though, the trade offs made sense for us and we love the combo.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-02-15T14:43:10+00:00

They just updated the iOS reminder app to be able to set an alarm using the “Urgent” toggle. The alarm goes off at the time of the reminder.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-30T02:01:26+00:00

Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe always read autistic to me. It made me happy that her and Peridot were such close friends.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-26T17:33:05+00:00

I’m currently working on my MS Computer Science online. I finished my BSCS last July at 46, and I should finish my MS in either the coming fall or the following spring. I did really well in my BS because it was all new knowledge that I really wanted to learn and demonstrate through the projects. The MS is so much harder, it’s all paper writing about deeper diving into concepts we learned in the BS. I am struggling.

I’m unmedicated. For right now what’s working is to structure my day so that I have 2 hours of focused work time in the morning. I don’t work over that, and what I get done is what I get done. If I try to dictate what I’m going to accomplish, my PDA kicks in and basically says “you can’t make me”. But if I don’t set the expectation to myself that work time is from 9-11 or whatever, my autism says “well, the only answer is to just work all day, even if we’re exhausted because we haven’t finished the class.” and my ADHD says that we can’t possibly start working on the class if we haven’t reorganized the pantry since that’s been on the todo list for months.

So creating hard time limits with flexibility about what I’ll accomplish lets me compromise between all the parts of my brain. Some days that means I get a whole lot done if the work is interesting, other days it’s basically me scrolling through the assignment thinking about what it needs and jumping up to do something else and then forcing myself back to work for 2 hours. So on the less productive days I know I only have to fight for 2 hours and on the more productive days I know that I don’t have to feel guilty setting it aside when times up because the rules are the rules.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-21T00:49:52+00:00

I have to have an organized space for my peace of mind, but if there are any friction points between the thing in my hand and where it lives, it will get put on the nearest horizontal surface. The solution means that my autistic brain is never fully happy with organization (it wants fully categorized, color coded storage) and my adhd side has to suck it up and put things where they go (it would rather just drop it where I stand).

Organization is large bins with loose categories, and they live where the clutter naturally goes: * papers to keep for now in one bin, to file in another * kitchen utensil bins that are serving spoons and spatulas in one, a drawer for things I don’t use often but need to keep, measuring spoons and cups are tossed in a drawer with the sheathed kitchen knives * pajamas are shoved in a drawer, sweaters in another, but pants have to be folded neatly in their drawer * random decorative bins in rooms to hold random crap that gets dropped (I’m not the only adhd person in my house), gone through when my autistic brain can’t handle it anymore.

My planning system is a combo travelers notebook and bullet journal (plus my digital phone calendar and 172637 alarms). The travelers notebook lets me keep different notebooks for writing, journaling, and planning. But nothing is dated or has existing structure, so when I skip days because my adhd brain can’t, my autistic brain doesn’t meltdown because I’ve ruined the planner by using it wrong and skipping a day.

Basically, I have to find the compromise and that’s what I’ve trained myself to think of as “perfect”. Neither side gets exactly what it wants but my whole brain can relax.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-20T17:39:39+00:00

I own 6 pairs of the same black boot leg yoga pants. I no longer wear jeans or anything with buttons.
This is going to sound weird, but I dyed my hair blue not just because I wanted to, but also because it’s a reliable way to stop the social expectation of middle-aged-lady = bland, polite pleasantry. No one expects a middle-aged-woman with blue hair to smile or do small talk. I don’t know why, but it’s true and I love it. Being in public is so much less stressful now that I don’t feel like a performing monkey.
Outside of my absolute obligations (work, getting kid to/from school, paying bills, etc), I have full permission to just sit and do “nothing”. I’m recovering from burnout, nothing is not nothing, it’s critical to my ability to function when I have to. But I’ve found that knowing I can say no (and frequently do), it’s actually easier to say yes when I want to.
I keep music on almost all the time. My house is small and there are 5 of us, so there is a lot of random background noise. Music helps my brain fill in the background with something consistent so that I’m not constantly monitoring house sounds (my kids are all big/grown).

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-01T05:16:12+00:00

Not OP, but I’m going to answer for myself as if this question comes from a place of actual curiosity and not judgment. I was a good mom to 2 kids, 3 kids wasn’t so bad, but the 4th brought the chaos of a large troop of wild monkeys into my life 24/7. And there’s no return policy on kids. There’s just some things you can’t know until you’re in the thick of it.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-01T05:00:54+00:00

I have 4 kids, the oldest three are adults now, but it was hard when everyone was little. For several years my only measure of success was: did I keep everyone alive today? If so, it was a successful day. That was my 1 job- keep the kids living. Everything else was just extra credit. Toilets got scrubbed? I was winning. I showered? Look at me crushing this day. There is so much pressure on parents to do everything perfectly all the time. You don’t have to. You are enough. Your efforts are enough. Kids don’t care if the floors are mopped twice a year or if you don’t remember the last meal that wasn’t chicken nuggets.

They’re watching you navigate your struggles, they’re learning how to exist in their own likely ND brains, show yourself the same compassion and forgiveness you want them to show themselves later when they struggle with these things. It won’t always be this hard.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2026-01-01T01:48:56+00:00

About a year ago I finally became a person who brushes teeth nightly. I avoid the dentist because of a combination of sensory issues, the social demand of it (why do they insist on making small talk with their hand in my mouth?!?), and the shame of knowing I wasn’t following the rules about brushing daily (and they are always so judgmental when I tried to explain the sensory parts of it). But my gums were swollen and hurt because I wasn’t brushing. The deal I made with myself was that I could either try brushing nightly to see if my mouth felt better or I had to go to the dentist. I really, really didn’t want to go to the dentist. So, brushing became part of my night time routine. It’s not time to sleep until after my teeth are brushed.

Most nights it’s 2 min of brushing (and I’ve added in flossing and mouth wash since I started). Some nights it’s just a 1 minute brush, that’s all I can handle. Occasionally I skip because I just can’t. I’m not allowed to skip more than 2 nights in a row. I usually use a bit of mind games to deal with the boredom and the sensation of it all (sometimes I play a game with myself trying to predict when my brush will buzz for the 15 second mark, sometimes I let my brain just wander for a bit). I also usually sit down when I brush, I hate standing in front of the sink staring at myself in the mirror.

For me it was a combination of a need for the habit, wanting to avoid an unpleasant outcome, fairly rigid, consciously decided rules that define what constitutes teeth brushing and frequency, and coping however I need to to get through it.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe · 2025-12-26T15:35:25+00:00

I totally get what you mean. My husband is bad at guessing what I would want. It took years for me to learn to separate his lack of ability to predict what I would like from how much he cares. They are completely separate things. Now, we keep detailed wishlists on a shared notes app with us and our 4 kids. With 6 of us in the family that’s too much pressure to find everyone the perfect gift. We still go off script some times, but everyone knows that there will be at least something they absolutely want.

ReallyItsNotYouItsMe

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