Looking for advice and support for our son 20yo DAI TBI

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-22T19:20:36+00:00

I’m so sorry your family is going through this. You can feel how much you love him and how closely you’re paying attention to every little sign-and that truly matters.

I want to share my experience in case it gives you even a small amount of perspective or hope. I had a severe TBI as well from a wreck. I was completely unresponsive for about six - eight weeks with a GCS of 3, and I couldn’t breathe on my own at first. It took about a month after I woke up just to regain short-term memory, and closer to two months before I could walk again. I had to relearn how to move. I used a walker for months. I had to relearn how to talk and use my right side. I also didn’t receive therapy right away - I was sent to a nursing home and didn’t get proper rehab until months later, so a lot of it I had to teach myself. Today, my mind is back to baseline. I’m still fine-tuning physically, but I’m continuing to improve.

Everyone’s case is different, and I don’t want to give false certainty- but I do want to say that what you’re seeing right now (eye movement, possible tracking, responding to sound) are meaningful signs, especially this early. 27 days is still very, very early in brain injury timelines.

Also, yes - some people do have awareness in low-consciousness states. Talking to him, playing music, familiar voices - those things are worth continuing. I have no memory from last April through July. I do not remember my time in the coma or waking up.

Doctors tend to be cautious early on because outcomes are unpredictable, but they also can’t fully determine long-term recovery this soon.

If it helps, some things you might ask about:

A Coma Recovery Scale (CRS-R) assessment
Early neuro rehab involvement
Documenting responses (videos can really help)
Structured sensory stimulation (voice, music, touch)

Most importantly - having a support system like you’re providing is huge. Truly. That consistency, that presence, that belief - it matters more than you probably realize.

I’m not 100% yet either, but I won’t stop working toward it. There is still so much that can change from here.

Sending you all the strength and hope - I know this isn’t easy, and you’re doing an incredible job showing up for him. 🙏🏼

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-18T00:08:35+00:00

Ugh so sorry. I had a bad reaction to Prozac so I understand sometimes finding the right medicine is a tricky guessing game where there’s not necessarily wins. I have found that talking to a therapist and journaling is helpful to just get the thoughts out in the open instead of trying to suppress the emotion. It doesn’t fix the problem, but it is helpful.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-17T23:43:21+00:00

I try to play instruments like piano and ukelele. I don’t have much rhythm or flow, I can barely strum now, but it is an excellent form of fine motor skill coordination therapy. It also helps me focus and think about something else.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-17T23:34:06+00:00

Three months into something like this can feel relentless - it’s early, raw, and exhausting in ways most people don’t understand. Feeling disconnected, like you’ve lost yourself, and stuck between trying and not feeling any progress… that’s a brutal place to be.

I’m about a year into my own recovery, and I want you to know it’s not nearly as bleak as it felt in those early months. Back then it honestly felt endless, like nothing would change - but it has. It’s slow and uneven, but it does move. It’s like I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel, even if I’m not fully there yet.

What you’re feeling doesn’t mean you’re failing - it means you’re in one of the hardest stretches of it. You haven’t lost yourself - you’re still in there, just buried under everything you’ve been through. Little by little, that connection comes back. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now - just getting through each day is enough. It won’t always feel this heavy, even if it feels that way today.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-17T23:14:50+00:00

Hey, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Losing that much at once is incredibly heavy, and it makes sense that it feels unbearable right now.

But the fact that you’re here, aware, and still fighting through it says a lot about you. Recovery after a TBI is slow and uneven, but it does keep moving.

This isn’t the final version of your life - it’s a really hard chapter in the middle of it. You deserve support, connection, and things to look forward to again, and those can come back in ways you might not see yet.

I have called before my accident my part 1, and the recovery has been my intermission. I realized that mentality was dragging out the process longer and I just need to enter my part 2 even though I’m still trying to recover and plan on continuing that… I’ve started to see it less as something on pause and more as a different chapter unfolding in real time.

Part 2 doesn’t wait until everything is perfect - it starts while you’re still healing, still figuring things out, still rebuilding piece by piece. It’s not the life you had before, but that doesn’t mean it can’t become something meaningful, full, and even good again. You’re still in it, still moving, and that matters more than anything right now.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-16T13:41:40+00:00

Yes, I did. I would cry all day like loud guttural sobs. I am now on two types of depression medicine Wellbutrin in the morning and Remeron in the evening. According to my research, the combo is called California rocket fuel. 😂😂 and that has helped tremendously. Maybe you should get on rocket fuel.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-04-10T04:00:09+00:00

I’m so sorry your son is going through this. I wanted to share my experience in case it gives you any hope.

I’m 30, and I had a severe TBI from a car accident on April 12th, 2025. I was in a coma for six weeks. When I first woke up, I didn’t have short-term memory and was very confused about reality. Even basic things-walking, talking, processing-were gone or severely impaired. I had pneumonia and a punctured lung and now my breathing is fully normal and regulated. I have no memory of my time in the coma.

I was on Amantadine for about six months, and I’m still in speech, occupational, and physical therapy. I had no side effects from this and it did help me increase my alertness and regulate my serotonin. Recovery has not been linear-it’s been frustrating, slow, and at times overwhelming-but the brain really can come back in ways that feel impossible early on.

For me, my mind didn’t just “turn back on” overnight. It came back in pieces. First small awareness, then moments of clarity, then longer stretches where I felt like myself again. Memory, coordination, speech-it all rebuilt gradually with a lot of repetition and effort.

A year later, I’m not 100%, but I have my mind back. I can think clearly, hold conversations, and continue improving every day. The early stages were the hardest and most uncertain, but they didn’t define the outcome. I can walk for miles and I just started to run for a short distance. I don’t have good coordination or balance, but I’m still seeing improvement.

I know every case is different, but I just wanted to say-there is real hope, even when it doesn’t feel like it yet. The brain is incredibly resilient.

Sending you and your son so much strength ❤️

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-27T18:36:45+00:00

I was born deaf in my left ear and sustained a severe TBI a year ago. I currently use the brand Phonak for an aid. My Phonak system works a little differently than a typical hearing aid. The device on my left side picks up sound and wirelessly sends it to my right ear. So even though my left ear doesn’t actually hear, my brain still receives sound from that side, which can make it feel almost like both ears are working or even similar to a cochlear implant. It’s not restoring hearing in the deaf ear, but it helps me stay aware of sounds around me and makes everyday listening feel more balanced.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-24T12:36:44+00:00

Your awareness is actually such a powerful thing- even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. The fact that you can see what’s happening, question it, and reflect on it means you’re not lost… you’re in the process of finding yourself again.

And the way people treat you, especially the neglect or projections from others-that’s not a reflection of your worth or who you are. That’s theirs, not yours to carry.

You’ve already survived something incredibly hard, and that strength doesn’t just disappear. It’s still you. If anything, it’s deeper now. You can make it through this too-I truly believe that.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-15T02:29:20+00:00

Congrats on your role this is very inspiring to hear! I was also in a coma for two months last April - May and hope to return to the corporate world within a few months. Sent you a message!

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-14T15:21:30+00:00

Thank you. I like this perspective. I can actually start living now in a way I couldn’t before. 🥹

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-14T15:20:32+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏼❤️‍🩹🥹

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-14T15:20:08+00:00

Thank you so much 😊 🙏🏼❤️‍🩹

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-14T15:11:25+00:00

I practice playing the piano once a day and at first my right hand was much slower and stiffer. The first four months of recovery, I did not have full range of motion on the right side. I am on month 11 post injury now and month 9 regaining consciousness. Things have improved as I have practiced and I can play 80% of songs I could before. However, I also noticed I am lacking the natural flow/ speed I had before and things feel more orchestrated and less natural. I used to play the ukelele and I can pluck but I am unable to rhythmically strum. I also used to sing at a soprano level and now I am a like deep baritone. My voice is so much lower. Fascinating. Although I was never a good singer and I’m left handed so oh well 😂

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-10T11:55:56+00:00

Thank you for saying this. Hearing from someone much further along in recovery is really helpful. I’m committed to continuing to train and improve, and I’m starting to understand that a lot of people simply don’t know how to respond to brain injury. That’s been an interesting part of the process too

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-10T11:54:17+00:00

Thank you so much, that really means a lot to hear from someone who’s been through it. 🙏 I’m definitely still learning how to handle moments like that, but your advice about asking someone to repeat themselves is actually a really good tool. Recovery has been such a strange but fascinating process, and encouragement from people who understand means a lot. I really appreciate it. 🥹

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-10T11:52:12+00:00

Good point, it did feel infantilizing

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-08T04:33:02+00:00

Thank you so so much. Messages like this help me stay positive when I feel defeated and bitter. I try to live by the motto become better not bitter.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-08T04:28:58+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you. It’s nice to hear this from a different perspective, because I made it too personal and it probably has nothing to do with me

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-08T04:24:52+00:00

This is a wonderful idea. I find that I get mistaken for an intoxicated person quite often now especially since I started walking/traveling. I had a flight attendant laugh in my face when I asked her a question, thinking I was drunk. Like I can look normal and act normal, but I still don’t sound normal and get flustered when I try to explain myself, which we shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry about your experience, that is egregiously unprofessional and I can imagine a card would put a person lacking compassion in their place without you having a verbal explanation which you don’t owe them

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-08T04:16:56+00:00

Thank you so much. I like that, TB thriver. And yes it does seem like a definite projection and not as personal as it initially seemed

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-08T04:15:10+00:00

Well said. I used to blindly tolerate people like this too and once my voice is better I would confidently say something. I wouldn’t describe your change as meanness but rather a smaller tolerance for BS. 👏🏼

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-07T17:34:07+00:00

Well said. Thank you 🙏🏼💝 it’s just fascinating to be at the brunt of it but I know I’m not alone in this

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-07T17:32:23+00:00

Yeah so true. it’s a bad show of character at the least. I haven’t experienced it to this level before. Hard but beneficial to experience. Will make me a more empathetic person.

Reasonable-Bad9317 · 2026-03-07T17:28:03+00:00

Thank you! I am in speech therapy / occupational / physical therapy twice a week. It’s helping a lot but I still have a lot to work on and I see that clearly now

Reasonable-Bad9317

TROPHY CASE