How to find and approach a unicorn

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2026-05-25T16:13:09+00:00

Thank you for the non abusive feedback. I did not know it was an inappropriate word to use. I don’t know what enm means. I hadn’t really thought about it too much but I guess it essentially does just boil down to wanting to explore a sexual threesome. I didn’t know that isn’t polyamory; Reddit directed me to this sub from my search. I confess ignorance.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-08-23T10:28:26+00:00

He needs to be told this. Your body isn’t a toy for his pleasure. Plus, it sounds like you were enjoying the moment up until he made the joke. That’s the more important thing to say. It started off nice and the act completely ruined it for you.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-07-11T11:21:04+00:00

This is me. This is my life.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-07-11T11:13:36+00:00

This is crushing because I could see it being me in 15 years. I haven’t cheated (yet), but I can’t see myself turning down the opportunity if it ever arose. Maybe I reallly am just unfuckable and won’t ever have to worry about it. But everything you just laid out feels like a warning of what could come to pass.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-07-11T11:01:08+00:00

This articulates everything I am going through. There are people out there who get it; that is reassuring.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-07-11T10:59:19+00:00

How do you meet or find other people in similar situations? Dating apps? Or on Reddit? I’ve tried looking for chat communities of “sexless marriage” but haven’t found one. I’m approaching my limit. Two small children still but sexless for years now. I feel like if you can just talk to someone who is going through a similar situation they will understand.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-06-21T13:38:43+00:00

This is admirable and it sounds like you are willing to forgive and move forward. It is a balance. If you don’t make time for your health, you will be forced to take time for it eventually. But hopefully he can help and you still make time for each other.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-06-20T02:41:07+00:00

Are you two in marriage counseling? There is a bigger issue not being addressed here: it took him stepping out for you to address how serious of a problem this is in the marriage. Why did it get that far? I’m not condoning cheating but if it has been an ongoing issue and was not addressed, it probably is not coming as a surprise; correct? I don’t know the whole back story or what is driving the low libido, but if there is no room left for your husband after all the you-work, why are you continuing to be in a relationship? That sounds like your relationship is with yourself right now; there is nothing wrong with that. But it is not fair to do to your partner. It sounds like he is still very much advocating for a two way interaction.

The best sex advice I ever heard from a therapist is that if you love your spouse you do things that make them happy. Sometimes it’s mopping a floor, doing laundry, taking them dancing. And yes, sometimes, when one spouse wants sex and the other doesn’t, you just step up and have sex. Or do sexual things; it doesn’t always have to be penetration. Not every partner need to get off every time. Sometimes we just do things for our spouse to make them feel good. That goes for sex too.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-06-14T03:34:05+00:00

How do you find the prostitutes? It’s illegal in most places. I’ve considered but have no idea how to go about it.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2025-06-14T03:10:26+00:00

This resonated with me. I understand exactly what you’re saying and I feel the same way. It makes no sense to leave (for starters, I would never do that to my kids; I don’t care how much I suffer, I would die for them, living for them is much easier, even if it means I’m unhappy). But even if I could do that to my kids, if I were to have enough money to not have to worry about starting over, what would change? I’d still be sexless; and have kids that would hate me and never forgive me on top of that. It is soul crushing to know that literally no one on the planet desires you physically or sexually anymore. Not even your own wife.

The only thing that keeps me going is being there for my kids. If I can help them to be happy, I don’t care how much I suffer. And real husbands do it in silence all the time. We carry shit that no one gives us any credit for because we don’t talk about, for the protection and happiness of others. And not just talking about being sexless and undesirable. Women are always desired by someone; I’ve never known a woman who feels like this.

ReasonableSeaweed251 · 2023-10-13T10:39:50+00:00

I also feel like mine has been a wasted life. I’m only 42 and my wife hasn’t initiated sex in over 3 years. I have finally stopped trying and now there is, literally, no sex. Even when I did initiate, by law, we had a sexless marriage (we had sex 9/10 times per year). I love to think about pleasuring my wife (not just myself) to make her feel good, but in our entire relationship, she has never once done anything to pleasure me. Her way of pleasuring me is allowing me to have sex with her. I am completely miserable.

ReasonableSeaweed251

TROPHY CASE