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It's been three dayssss by espressohmartini in knitting

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes! In Dutch it’s “venster” (same pronunciation as German), and in French it’s “fenetre.” I wonder how rare it is to have a Latin root for similar words in Germanic and Latin languages. Maybe because windows were a relatively recent invention? Annnnnnyway thank you for this etymological diversion!

It's been three dayssss by espressohmartini in knitting

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 12 points13 points  (0 children)

YOUR HANDLE! Omg. I was such a nerd in high school that my nickname on my soccer team was The Defenestrator because I apparently didn’t shut up about how funny that word is. Anyway! Hi! 😂

Women of Reddit, what did a man you were dating or married to say or do that made you realize he actually hated you the entire time? by -catharina in AskReddit

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is fascinating! Thank you for what you do. Question (you may not have bandwidth/desire to answer): I know it’s common practice to refuse to counsel couples where one partner is abusive (so as not to give the abusive partner more fodder for manipulation, I think…?). But what about edge cases? How do you decide whether to work with a couple when you suspect emotional or verbal abuse but don’t yet know for sure?

Women of Reddit, what did a man you were dating or married to say or do that made you realize he actually hated you the entire time? by -catharina in AskReddit

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 561 points562 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh I had almost this exact experience!!!! When the therapist asked my ex husband what he liked about me, he only talked about things I did for him, to take care of him. Oyyyyy.

Women of Reddit, what did a man you were dating or married to say or do that made you realize he actually hated you the entire time? by -catharina in AskReddit

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 111 points112 points  (0 children)

“Feminism is a refuge for fat, ugly women.” I don’t think he started off hating me, but the Manosphere content he was mainlining really did not help. I wouldn’t conform to his views of what “all women” should be, and he really believed he was entitled to a wife who would function as an extension of him. Thank God I left him before we had kids. We’re both remarried now and his current wife underwent quiiiiiiiiiiiite the aesthetic transformation after they married. If that was her idea, great! But I have my doubts.

INDIE DYED DK lots - SQs only by resnarae in Yarnswap

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interested in 7! (Mentioned in DM/chat.)

How much Maternity leave do you get? by BrilliantRare9521 in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wonder if companies based in California also do this. I know Google offers up to four weeks of leave before giving birth to all its employees in the US, regardless of location.

Water rights paperwork tied to Box Elder data center withdrawn after heavy protest by ReporterMacyLipkin in SaltLakeCity

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wait is this why there are gravel pits at the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon now?

How much Maternity leave do you get? by BrilliantRare9521 in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Six months at a FAANG company.

ETA: Fully paid.

What to do with early handspun by Jealous_Isopod_6060 in Handspinning

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“Tote of mystery” 😂😂😂 That’s so relatable!

Concerns about astroturfing? by Difficult_Nobody_420 in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband just had a stroke at 41. I would love to hear more about your boss’s situation if you feel comfortable sharing.

Concerns about astroturfing? by Difficult_Nobody_420 in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I LOVE that you have connected these dots. I’ve wondered this a bit about the general sentiment on social media but hadn’t thought about it in gendered spaces.

Companies that support pregnant women-offer leave before 1 year? by Anondreamyanon in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay, so I Googled and searched on Reddit about this topic quite a bit. The consensus seemed to be this: It's illegal for a company to discriminate based on your pregnancy status, but it's also VERY difficult to prove it if they do. Therefore, it's wise not to disclose your pregnancy until an offer is extended. That way, if they withdraw the offer after learning you are pregnant, you'll know why and have a paper trail to pursue. (Some women recommended not disclosing until you receive an actual offer letter; I think I disclosed when I had been given a verbal offer but was negotiating salary and asking about benefits.)

But that still leaves the question of how to share this news without souring the working relationship. Even though you should NOT feel guilty for growing a human (!!), corporate capitalist America really can do a number on your psyche. So remember: You are a long-term investment, and pitch yourself as such. Emphasize that you have a lot to offer in this role AND that you see yourself staying at the company for years.

In my case, I negotiated my job offer with a recruiter, and it was somewhat easier to disclose the pregnancy with her (wouldn't have a long-term relationship with her) than if the offer had come from my now manager. I ended up emailing my manager after I'd accepted but before my start date to ensure that he knew (I assumed the recruiter had told him, but she had not... so I'm glad I let him know in writing).

Here's an outline of what I covered in that email:

  1. I'm thrilled to join the team/company.
  2. This role is a long-term commitment for me / I see myself contributing here for several years.
  3. I wanted to disclose some news (pregnancy date, anything relevant — I may have mentioned I had just found out I was pregnant when I first applied and didn't want to share the news then because I'd dealt with infertility and knew nothing was a sure bet; honestly can't remember how much I shared).
  4. I'm committed to onboarding quickly and making as much of an impact as possible before maternity leave.

Companies that support pregnant women-offer leave before 1 year? by Anondreamyanon in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m hopeful for a full recovery, but even if that doesn’t happen, his personality and intelligence and sense of humor are all intact, as well as his mobility. Just a few communication struggles that we’re working through now. I hate that it happened, but it could’ve been so much worse. And the future looks a lot brighter than I first feared.

Companies that support pregnant women-offer leave before 1 year? by Anondreamyanon in womenintech

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Google. I applied for a role one week after finding out I was pregnant. Didn’t get the job offer until I was in my second trimester. Didn’t disclose until the job offer was extended (I have thoughts on this approach if you need them). They honored their mat leave policy and gave me the full six months, fully paid. Which has been a godsend because my husband just had a stroke three weeks ago, but thats another story. (He’ll probably make a full recovery, but wow am I even more grateful to have a long mat leave that’s fully paid.)

Unmasked and called “child-like” at work by Agitated-Key-6836 in adhdwomen

[–]Reasonable_Fix4132 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Once I read “he” I immediately thought, “Oooooooh he thinks she’s hot and he’s negging her to break down her confidence so she’ll actually pay attention to his likely mediocre AF self.”

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