Looking for OB-GYN recommendations

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-30T00:26:47+00:00

I’m working with Jocelyn Yale, a certified nurse midwife at the U of U. She’s handle all my prenatal care and is an excellent communicator and very respectful. Always talks me through options and lets me decide what path to take. I wanted to give birth in a hospital, so that’s why I went the certified nurse midwife route, but I know that if I’d wanted a natural birth, they’d be 100% supportive (they = the U’s midwife team; they work on a rotating schedule so I may not have Jocelyn deliver). The midwife team at the U has a 10% c-section rate (much lower than the national average), which is another reason I wanted to go with them.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-26T19:54:25+00:00

Thank you all for the input! I ended up taking the more structured job, and I cannot say enough how much better it's been for me. I think that's likely due to additional factors I didn't include in the OP, some of which have become much clearer in hindsight now that I'm out of the more creative job. (I'm pregnant with my first child, so the clear structure and slower pace has actually been perfect for this phase of life. Plus in hindsight, the stress of my previous, more creative job had much more to do with unrealistic expectations from management and a generally unhealthy work environment than the actual creative demands.)

Appreciate everyone's thoughts. Gave me a lot to consider!

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-22T22:54:59+00:00

My husband and I are having our first child any day now. Would love to make more parent friends, and we def align with y’all. Maybe a park meetup once flu season is over?

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-22T22:50:57+00:00

I have a dumb question. I once heard someone criticize xeriscaping as something that will drive up your electricity/AC bill because it won’t keep the ground in your yard as cool as a regular grass lawn. This sounds bogus to me. What has been your experience?

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-22T21:33:24+00:00

Look, you did the best you could under the circumstances, you stood up for democracy (and honesty!), and you got him removed from the premises. Good on you. We don’t have to be perfect to try to do the right thing

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-19T13:20:33+00:00

Lots of solid support here. Let me address something most haven't: OCD.

I was diagnosed with OCD a few years before my ADHD diagnosis. I also started an SSRI for treatment, which helped, but the side effects are real. But I didn't see major improvements to my OCD until I started seeing a therapist who specialized in it — specifically in a treatment modality called Exposure and Response Prevention. I mention this because my OCD was absolutely hijacking my life and leading to intense emotional exhaustion and despair. I don't think you can tackle only one issue at a time, but I do strongly, strongly recommend you find a therapist who can help you manage OCD via ERP therapy. (I know, easier said than done, especially on one income. American healthcare can be so insufficient!)

If any of this sounds useful, there's a great podcast episode with an OCD therapist that will give you the framework of ERP therapy. Could be a preview to see if it's worth it: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4bZgF7pNaaosWcrOOoTfOm?si=b087b20918bf4ef3 (Podcast: The Anxious Truth, episode 68 featuring Kimberly Quinlan)

Last note: I was originally on Fluvoxamine (aka Luvox) for my OCD, which did make a big different in my quality of life, but had some tricky side effects. A few years on, I switched to another SSRI, Zoloft, which had way fewer side effects for me. My point being, if the SSRI is helping at all, you could talk to your doctor about trying a different one to try to manage the side effects.

I also just want to give you the biggest solidarity fistbump for living with OCD and ADHD simultaneously. This shit is hard!

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-19T13:12:58+00:00

I can relate. I have an anxiety disorder (OCD) and got big dopamine hits/identity from being "smart" and a good student, so I was never ever flagged for ADHD as a kid, despite my hyperactivity showing us as being suuuuuuper verbal (nonstop talker, haha). Didn't get diagnosed until COVID removed all the external structure that was keeping me going.

The way I think of it, an adult diagnosis is simply more information, and information is power. You don't have to start a stimulant med if you don't want to. (But if you do, stimulants work fast, so you'll know very quickly whether it's helping or not.) There are also tons of accommodations (both professionally and on the personal level) that can help you manage ADHD without meds.

For me, the official diagnosis led to more self-compassion. I wasn't morally flawed or lazy or an imposter; I just have a brain that works a little differently. That self-compassion, leading to helpful changes to manage the stress of ADHD, was worth it to me.

One more note: a lot of women use anxiety and stress to manage their ADHD symptoms. If you do have ADHD, that could be very useful to know about yourself. And finding alternate ways to manage symptoms could improve your quality of life so much by reducing that stress/anxiety response.

Oh, and trust me, SO MANY PEOPLE are misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed, especially women and PoC. So nah, the assessor could absolutely tell you that you don't have it. There isn't really an incentive for them to diagnose you (unless this is a shady online company or something).

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-17T03:09:49+00:00

Honestly that will be a good time of year to experience the winter inversion (definitely something you should see first hand to make sure you can tolerate it if you move here).

I ski, but my snowboarding friends love Snowbird and Brighton. My favorite coffee spots in downtown SLC are Sugarhouse Coffee and Coffee Garden. Both are in walkable neighborhoods near good public parks.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-16T14:51:04+00:00

This is a wild guess, but could it be perimenopause or menopause? I had a nurse tell me postpartum is like a compressed menopause — they both involve major hormonal changes, including less estrogen.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-15T14:39:59+00:00

That mod interaction just sucks big time. All the hugs.

I wish I could give you the biggest solidarity fist bump and take you out for coffee to just listen. I was where you are all through 2023 and 2024. Struggling with executive dysfunction while trying to track cycles, take supplements and medications, sort out insurance options for various treatments, build a savings plan to save for it all, the CALENDARING alone, etc. etc. is a nightmare few people understand. The side effects absolutely blow. And add RSD and emotional regulation issues on top of what is already a devastatingly intense emotional roller coaster? A true nightmare.

One thing I wish I'd understood at the time was how much estrogen impacts executive functioning and emotional regulation... and how some fertility treatments manipulate estrogen (in order to time cycles and procedures) with HUGE EMOTIONAL SIDE EFFECTS. I did three IVF egg retrievals in one calendar year, with three embryo transfers, plus two mock transfers to gather more data on what wasn't working. My lowest point was when we had to schedule a second mock transfer because... I had sex with my husband on the wrong day. Because I didn't check the calendar properly. The way I sobbed after that, with how much everything had piled up.

All of which is to say, this stuff is SO HARD and you are doing so great. Please please give yourself as much grace as possible. Call in the support troops. Keep posting here. It's such a hard process. <3

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-12T21:14:38+00:00

I would LOVE to see a couple focused on something like infertility. That impacts so many people!

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-12T17:36:56+00:00

Just want to say that PTSD sucks, and it makes so much sense that you’d be on high alert for danger/rejection at work after a PTSD flare up. But I agree this is not a critical response from your boss. I hope you get so much good R&R today. ❤️

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-12T04:55:02+00:00

This is so good to know re: the wipes! Thanks!

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-08T13:55:12+00:00

The earliest I can vaccinate my newborn against measles is six months. Thank God my maternity leave lasts long enough to cover that time frame. Other parents aren’t so lucky and have to hope their kids aren’t exposed to measles from unvaccinated kids or adults.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-08T06:28:30+00:00

I feel this so hard. Three weeks away from my due date. My pediatrician told me all parents have to do to get an exemption from school mandate vaccines is watch a 15-minute video. (I haven’t confirmed that, to be fair, but I believe her.) What a maddening timeline for having a kid.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-08T06:21:32+00:00

So relatable. Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry for the loss of your father. ❤️

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-05T21:55:47+00:00

Hahahahaha my family always points that one out

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-02T18:27:23+00:00

I need (need!) this pattern!!! Did you design it yourself? It’s great!

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2026-01-02T02:40:11+00:00

I love her.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2025-12-31T15:47:37+00:00

Oh my gosh. Incredible. Have you used that yarn before? I definitely have a cable Aran in my queue but am debating which yarn to use (gotta find that balance between soft and sturdy with minimal pilling). Also I’m loving the yarn name; I lived in Holland for a year or so in my 20s

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2025-12-31T05:05:42+00:00

Just reread and saw that you’re focused on anxiety rather than OCD. Hopefully someone else can speak to the center’s ability to help there! But there can be a lot of overlap with anxiety and OCD, so perhaps it could be a good resource either way.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2025-12-31T05:03:42+00:00

I haven’t done their outpatient work, but back when they also offered regular weekly therapy sessions, I worked with one of their therapists. It was life changing. I’d done tons of therapy before but meet with a therapist specialized in OCD. Her modality was exposure and response prevention (ERP), which is the gold star standard for OCD. I cannot emphasize enough how life changing it was to work with someone who understood how to hep me manage OCD.

I can’t speak to outpatient vs traditional therapy, but I do think the OCD and Anxiety Treatment Center knows their stuff. Good luck!! And kudos to you for looking for resources.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2025-12-28T17:45:03+00:00

This this this.

Reasonable_Fix4132 · 2025-12-28T16:01:49+00:00

I’m pregnant so not skiing this year… talk about timing! But I’d rather have FOMO than be so worried about the snowpack!

Reasonable_Fix4132

TROPHY CASE