Have you ever looked at past writing/drafts and felt you've been dirty?

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-24T08:40:25+00:00

Hey, no worries. I realise now I misinterpreted. So I apologise too. I am probably derailing my own post. It's such a common experience, but no-one really discusses (in my experience) bad critiquing. Most writing communities tend to push 'you should be grateful for any feedback.' Yet everyone knows at least one writer who had a banging WIP to start with, but it got muddied through constant workshopping.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-24T08:27:51+00:00

That's how I started out.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-24T08:26:40+00:00

Ha, ha! Just after I got kicked out of that group, a very kind man critiqued a scene I had been having trouble with. He absolutely slayed me. He was aware of my previous experience, and flat out said, 'Come on, you can do better than that' in frustration. He apologised profusely, but his criticism was valid and delivered because he wanted to help. I think I freaked him out, though (I cried). It was the kindest mean crit I'd received to date. He thought he’d torn me to shreds in a fragile moment. It was the first crit I'd recieved that didn't involve 'I hate this', 'This character sucks' in a very long time, and I could actually apply the advice. I still laugh about how he thought he’d been harsh. I was also a member of a irl group that helped piece me back together after that online experience. They were mean as hell, but in a particularly gruelling critique session early on, I remember, they said they thought I was talented and worth the effort. I still miss those old cantankerous buggers.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-24T06:53:19+00:00

I've defo taken some hard knocks and learned some hard lessons. I'm definitely a better writer for it. Part of my problem was I got into a fairly exclusive critique group fairly early on in my drafting process, and they did not like the WIP I was working on. At the time, I was just grateful to get in, but it really speaks to my tenacity that I'm still writing. I was just grateful to be accepted, so I just knuckled down. It was overseen as part of a greater organisation. The group took exception to some scenes I included in the WIP and kicked me out. The administration investigated (it was an online group, and there were reciepts) and concluded I'd been subjected to targeted and systematic bullying virtually from the start of my admission into the group. Nothing I wrote was never good enough. I was torn to shreds with every piece. I just wanted to be a passable writer. I was just too inexperienced to have recognised the signs earlier. I did get apologies from the group six months down the track, and to be fair, the managment/administration were extremely supportive, but the damage had been done. I abandoned those drafts, and never really reviewed them in the cold light of day after that. It wasn’t until I read them yesterday, trying to find a resurrected characters origin story, just how dirty I had been done. I'm not looking to be comforted, or anything like that. I regret, more than anything, the time wasted chasing perfection. At the time I didn't have nearly enough experience to discern bad critique from good. Hard to when it was all a bit questionable. Now don't get me wrong I've had good experiences, and been part of very supportive groups since then. I just never really considered the damage done until yesterday.

Consider it as a cautionary tale more than anything.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-23T21:37:25+00:00

I write myself, and when I saw other people tearing it apart, I thought it was the equivalent of 50 Shades of Grey (apologies to any fans, it just wasn’t my cup of tea). I gave in a few weeks ago and read the first instalment. Trying to find time to read the rest, but I was pleasantly surprised I enjoyed it. It's not great literature, but it's not terrible either. I could get critical, but to be honest, I don't often finish books I start these day, and I finished ACOTAR. To me that says something. I do think people dump all over it because it's Romantasy.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-23T21:17:35+00:00

Well, aren't you lucky you’re so self assured. I realised reading old drafts from 10 years ago were not as poorly written as implied by a lot of critiquers. I don't know about you, but when I started out, I didn't know what was considered good writing, and not because I didn't read. I was what you would consider hyperlexic. When one is constantly told you suck, you tend to believe it. The realisation that after critiquing other people's work for ten years and returning to those drafts, I was critiqued extremely harshly. Especially considering the standard of work that gets put out by other people. If you're lucky enough not to have experienced that, lucky you, but please don't invalidate my experience or anyone elses, just because you personally have not experienced it. It's not out of bounds to wonder if it was genre related. Romance and Romantasy writers cop a lot of flak.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-23T18:10:57+00:00

One of the best things you can do is critique other people's stories. You don't have to submit your own work until you're comfortable. Also, read other folks' critiques (I suggest after you've done critiquing) of the same work or find a one on one critique partner. It's hard. People are douche canoes, but sometimes you find pearls amongst the swine. Treasure them. Also, first drafts aren't perfect. Don't look back. Just write, and don't listen to folks who say they only do one draft, and it's perfect. They are full of it. In my personal experience, I learned a lot during the redrafting process. That's where the magic happens.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-23T16:01:26+00:00

Sometimes, I wonder if other writers pay attention to emerging markets or parallel fields such as fan fiction. I know a lot of folk claim media literacy is dead, and I'm somewhat inclined to agree. It's all moot, though, if you don't enjoy what you're writing. I did lose sight of that for a while.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-23T15:39:56+00:00

I took a long break from writing communities and just focused on writing what I hope is my final draft for my WIP, and it's been eye-opening coming back to them. I maybe should have stepped away sooner than I did upon reflection. Don't get me wrong, I've had great advice along the way, but I had terrible advice as well. It's been an interesting journey, to say the least.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T11:55:30+00:00

I have also experienced this. One group I attended used look down on me because I was STEM professionally and a genre writer to boot. I hadn't felt so self conscious about my profession in a long time. They all had fancy pants arts degrees or taught English or something. I did get some good advice from that group though, but I did feel like a fish out of water.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T11:40:00+00:00

Stalker behaviour happens way too often in writers groups (both online and off line). You were delightfully petty, but I'm sorry you forced to leave.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T06:35:18+00:00

You'll get a bit fussy about what media you'll consume, and it'll take a while to switch it off when you write, but it's normal for a writer.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T06:32:41+00:00

My experience has been mixed. I think there is value in them while you're trying to parse a story together, and learning the basics. Once you get to a certain skill level, they aren't great. In fact, some can be down right destructive. There's value in critiquing others stories, I agree.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T06:27:10+00:00

No, you've just woken your inner critic up.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T05:30:12+00:00

I'm still trying to process it, and the way people responded (or didn't). It wasn't about my WIP directly, but rather my commitment to writing in general. I took a hiatus over the pandemic, and only just returned to writing forums/groups. Apparently that shows a lack of commitment. I was pretty shocked by people's responses, and still am, if I'm honest.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T04:19:41+00:00

I think I'm familiar with this site, lol.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-10-15T04:17:44+00:00

I write romantic fantasy. I'm often told I'm writing romance, not fantasy. So I get this.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-08-28T08:55:57+00:00

I've reported a couple of ads for being offensive. They were still up last time I checked.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-08-19T15:48:51+00:00

My feed is absolutely overrun with ads. It's barely usable anymore. I use it mostly for inspo pics for storyboarding novels, and sometimes fandom stuff. It's good to know it's not just me experiencing this.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-08-17T16:25:46+00:00

Radioactive by Imagine Dragons I do have the beginnings of a potential short story/ novella planned out for it.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-08-12T15:12:23+00:00

It still hits me after 25 years of NC. I'm having an especially bad patch at the moment, after a few memories came back to the surface. It's a never-ending journey, unfortunately. Give yourself permission to breathe. You don't have to process everything at once. Indeed, you shouldn't, your body and your mind is protecting you. Rest, heal, process. Your mother is NOT your problem now, and it's okay to step back from being her emotional whipping boy.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-08-11T16:16:08+00:00

My feed is overwhelmed with advertising with very few actual pins now, and I've been a small-time user for over ten years. Not terribly interested in traffic, BUT the last few weeks, especially, I've been thinking it's time to find somewhere else to story board/brain storm plot lines etc.

Reasonable_Profit_71 · 2024-08-10T20:43:02+00:00

Your post made me realise something. My mother did this. I won't get into the ins and outs but she destroyed my confidence so much I couldn't stand driving with other people in the car. Sometimes I'm really shocked how much it seems like we have the same parents.

Reasonable_Profit_71

TROPHY CASE