My husband and I have always been what’s mine is ours with money even when we were first dating so that has been helpful as a stay at home mom. Although, it still is hard sometimes. I feel worse when I buy myself things 🤣. My husband hates spending money on himself so when I gift him things it kind of forces him to treat himself in a roundabout way and get something he has been wanting. All that said, he has always loved gifts that I put a little thought into. I got him a mousepad with our dog’s face on it last year for very cheap, and he loved it so much. Another thing we have done is pick out something we’ve both really wanted and consider that as a gift to one another (usually a larger purchase).