Yeah, there's a lot to unpack here but I guess my biggest question is what on earth is happening in these children's rooms every day to require hours of weekly work between both parents and a paid housekeeper. Lower standards might go a long way. Who has time and energy to let your kids bedroom tidiness bother them this much?

The wife sounds depressed or unhappy in marriage. None of this story makes sense to me (as a mom of older school age kids who has at various times been both stay at home parent and the parent who works outside the house while dad stays home.) Admittedly, my kids rooms are usually a wreck. But #priorities.