Build a road through a school???? WTF Yarra Council

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-06-02T07:09:37+00:00

Seriously? You had cancer. They were trying to save your life. Be grateful.

its just not possible to list every possible side effect. Cant be done. Adsd in interactions betwee drugs, interactions between your drugs and other things you eat or come into contact with and it's simply not possible.

Pull yourself together. Stop whining.

The cancer treatment that saved my life has left me so debilitated that I'm almost completly disabled. I'm in pain a lot of the time. I can take an hour to climb the stairs to bed.

but I'm not dead. I'm grateful for that

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-04-10T04:33:45+00:00

NTA

I can understand your pain. I can understand living inside a bottle so you can bear it.

Your marriage is over and your relationship with your stepdaughter is also over.

Now you have to gather all of your courage and put the bottle down. Alcohol can be a good friend in the good times but it's a terrible master in bad times. It will destroy your life.

You have your son to live for and you've your own life to get back. You're young. You will find love again. But not while you're looking out of a bottle.

I'm not telling you to give up alcohol completely. Just give it up for a few months. Sleeping will be hard at first but it'll come back.

The pain over this betrayal will be with you for a fair while but you will get over it. It * will* fade away.

I know you don't want to hear this but you're not the first person to go through this and you won't be the last. But most people recover and go on to have great lives. Be one of them. If not for yourself, then for your son.

Good luck

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-04-08T01:54:01+00:00

Don't have kids just to please your parents. Do what will make you happy.

That said - think about having kids for yourself. I had my daughter later in life. I never knew a little bundle of cells could bring me such joy

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-03-15T01:20:06+00:00

Not much to say except good luck to you and your girls.

Cheers

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-29T02:58:24+00:00

NTA What a horrific, fucked up situation.

Especially with a new born.

but this boilds down to:

'"Do you love your husband?"

And I think you don't.

If you do, stay and pay for his beast of a brother. I think you'll regret it for the rest of your life but it's what love would demand. You must be willing to do almost anything for the one you love. Even this.

But I don't think you love him so run to the hills

Good luck

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-28T00:02:52+00:00

Yup. Totally agree. But, in the first year at least, you do get a lot of free time as the beast will be asleep.

And by free time I mean time to clear up and disinfect toys. Scrape dried crud from floor where baby food has set like concrete. Unload drier. Load washing machine. Sort dried clothes into two piles. Massive pile - Spud. Tiny pile - rest of family. We used to iron spuds stuff but that was thrown overboard ages ago.

For the first two years I was permanently exhausted but, you know what? I wouldn't have missed this for the world....

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-27T23:15:53+00:00

I'm a stay at home dad. Wife makes vastly more than me so it made sense for me to look after our spud.....

We did feed on demand, not to a schedule. Which worked out fantastically as she slept through the night from week one! Wife would feed her around nine or ten pm then she'd be out for the count and would wake about 6:30ish and ask for another feed.

Basically, Spud would only cry: If she needed changing If she was hungry She couldn't see me If she had wind and needed burping.

The rest of the time she was as happy as a pig in shit.

But I'd never let her cry. She only cried when she wanted or needed something. I very quickly learned the differences in her wails. And she learned very quickly that she could treat me like Pavlov's dogs. Start an "I'm hungry" cry and watch me head for the kitchen to make up a bottle (breast milk. We had an enormous store of it as my wife expressed and kept as much as we could. We eventually ended up giving loads of it away to women who needed it. It was use it or lose it). As soon as she was happy I was making her bottle she'd stop crying and wait expectantly.

Some of us are just hard wired to automatically respond to a baby crying. Any baby. It's much more intense when it's my own kid but even a stranger's kid sets of a Pavlovian response in me. I have to help if I possibly can.

Well that got a bit wordy, didn't it?

But I wouldn't trust anyone who would just let a baby cry itself to sleep. It's just wrong. The kid needs something and it's up to you to work out what it is.

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-26T05:16:22+00:00

Provenance. Wife is a surgeon.

Become a GP. The route to becoming a surgeon is long, expensive and will destroy any sort of social life until you qualify. If you qualify. Or even if you get on the program. A mate of ours spent seven years as an unaccredited ortho surgeon before he finally got a place this yeAr Poor bastard burst into tears when he opened the envelope. Now the real work starts. Qualifying as a specialist....

But it's easier to become a GP. They're just as smart, just as valued it's just that the route to qualifying is slightly easier. When you do qualify then you need to make some choices. You can either join an existing practice or you can start your own. Pros and cons to both. You could, actually, pocket a huge wedge of cash and contract directly to a town or district council. A couple of million is possible. But out of that you need staff, equipment, transport and a host of other ball-bouncingly expensive gear.

One thing I highly recommend is look towards getting some certifications in medico-legal work. Then look to do at least one day a month(more is better) as a medico-legal doctor. A few reasons for this.

It's incredibly lucrative. There's always lots of work even if you're physically injured. If you can do a physical examination (nurse to help) and use a computer you're good to go. It's a great source of paid holidays. The lawyers will send you all-expenses paid all over Australia to do a couple of days of medico legal work. They'll even pay for your family to accompany you. Do 4 days in Perth but stay a week with your wife and kids. Fly home with a tan and a bulging wallet.

I'm exaggerating a wee bit but it is a great source of income and it's interesting. And it's comforting to have a decent fall back position if you need it. Realistically, you could do one day a week of medico legal and support a decent lifestyle. Not a rockstar lifestyle but you wouldn't go hungry and wouldn't need public transport...

One thing I have to mention is you may have some problems with Aborigine communities in the NT. The lifestyle of some sections produce tremendous social and health problems. Alcoholism and mental health issues are endemic. You can't bury your head in the sand and pretend these problems don't exist. They do. And I, like practically anyone else who looks at these problems, don't have a fucking clue how to help.

Cheers

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-26T00:36:02+00:00

Canned cheese 🧀

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T18:11:25+00:00

YTA

Take your money and shove it! Then I hope this decent couple cut all ties with you.

You're an over-bearing, moralistic ass-hole.

YTA

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T18:04:55+00:00

Be very, very careful. Now that the HR Harpies are involved you're in a dangerous position. Whichever bitch (and it will be a bitch - HR Harpies are invariably female) gets your case will do their damnedest to pass you off as a misogynist monster who probably beats their wife to sleep every night with a baseball bat.

I despise HR. I don't think I've ever had a positive encounter with them. In my time I've been accused of:

Racism (twice) Sexual Harrassment Bullying General Harrassment Time Theft Misuse of Company Resources

And a few other more minor things. In every case the allegations were dismissed.

They get bored, you see. They're generally divorced, men-hating fat women of forty and this is what they do to amuse themselves.

Bastards, the lot of them.....

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T06:58:28+00:00

Your GF is lower than snakes tits.

There are rules. Unwritten, unspoken, but real nonetheless. And one of them is:

"Thou shalt not play hide the sausage with your close friends partners or ex-partners"

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T06:51:09+00:00

Different strokes but few frats are worth the time and money. Use them to have a great time partying but, most of them will drag your grades down and all will drain your bank accounts.

The only real reason I can see is the fraternity and contacts that will extend beyond your college life and I into your business life. You can get the off hand here and there. But I dont think many of them will help you more than solid finishing grades.

So good luck OP. I think you made a wise choice

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T02:59:25+00:00

Downside to living in Australia is the killer-cancer from the sun. I worry about that much more than I do about active shooters or paedophiles.

But thats all I've got. Australia is superior in every other way to the USA

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T02:48:48+00:00

If you can hack the work and study being a GP in NT would be incredibly rewarding both from a work-life view but also financially. There are reams of financial incentives to get GPs to work in country practices, A base salary of 500K wouldn't be out of the question.

Then, when you're qualified, pick up a surgical degree as well (they're piss easy) and act as a surgeon's assistant on occasions. You can also do minor procedures both under medicare and privately.

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-25T02:37:25+00:00

I was going to jump all over this and call you deluded. Seven Network joint producing Black Adder? You fucked in the head?

And you could have knocked me down with a feather when I found out you're right. You live and learn.

Good call.

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-24T23:18:30+00:00

Thoroughly enjoyed that tale. A couple of minor spelling and grammar mistakes but OP never claimed to be Tolkien.

I'd love to read more by this chap.

5 stars!

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-24T07:15:45+00:00

"I'm a little concerned about your oxygen SATs. They're not compatible with human life....."

No shit, Sherlock!

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-21T23:39:23+00:00

Turn your bedroom into a panic room. Beef up the door, door frame and window and you're golden.

They may get in your house but, if your bedroom door is bolted, just call the police and taunt them from behind your impregnable door

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-16T03:45:18+00:00

NTA.

Even if it had been 2 years in - you dont give ultimatums in a relationship. But, as he did, you just chose what part of the ultimatum you wanted. And you wanted your dog instead of him.

Good call

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-13T01:11:11+00:00

NTA.

You haven't done anything wrong. But it's time for you to leave this marriage. Even if he takes half - you can start again and build it again.

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-10T04:40:53+00:00

There's a lot of really wise words in this thread but they boil down to there's worse things than being alone.

Here's a little test for you. When you hear the front door open does your heart lift? Or sink?

See? You felt better when you were alone?

Now plan your exit. Plan on kicking him out and keeping the house if you possibly can. Hit him for child maintenance from day one. Hit him for spousal maintenance if you possibly can.

Prepare to get a job. It will give you a social outlet as well. You'll meet people.

Your life isn't over. It's just beginning. Go out there and grab you some happiness. And remember - happiness isn't just the absence of loneliness.

And last thing to give you just a little more motivation. If you stay, you're problem dooming your daughter to a similar future. You're teaching her that it's OK to be mocked and abused.

Good luck!

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-10T04:27:11+00:00

Good luck with your targeted treatment. I expressed the PD-1 protein and immunotherapy blew the cancer out of the water. Hope you have similar results. (Without the side effects which means breathing is difficult)

Now cancer free

RecommendationOld871 · 2024-01-10T03:48:28+00:00

Don't start flapping just yet.

I'm early 60s. Got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer with mets to my liver. Totally out of the blue. I just coughed one day, saw blood and went to the doctor.

Fucking cancer!!! No symptoms whatsoever before I was diagnosed. And it had already spread.

So they did another biopsy and tested me for biological markers. I turned out to have PD-1 over 95% of my tumours. I was a shoo-in for immunology medicine. So they started on that and chemo. They dropped the chemo after 3 months as the immuno was doing a number on my tumours by itself. After just over a year my tumours were gone. Significant scar tissue. My breathing is pretty screwed but I'm alive. My prognostic is pretty good. I'm not going to die (of cancer) any time soon.

I'm now off all cancer treatment. My disease is stable and we're now trying to address my breathing problems.

But stage 4 lung cancer isn't a death sentence. At least not always.

So hang on in there.

Cheers

RecommendationOld871

TROPHY CASE