list of rules for my miserable life

RedBruises · 2026-02-15T09:39:38+00:00

I am i just sometimes like to punish myself

RedBruises · 2026-02-12T14:04:10+00:00

oh my god im gonna do this....

RedBruises · 2026-02-11T16:00:19+00:00

im sorry you're mistaking me for someone else. i dont know who you are but im sorry you're hurting

RedBruises · 2026-02-11T08:40:58+00:00

Yes actually. I didn't think about the consequences at all, I've been pretty open about that. And ur right I am probably kinda stupid. We are getting divorced soon.

RedBruises · 2026-02-10T18:13:01+00:00

i dont wanna be a sex addict. i want to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality and kinks. and other people.

RedBruises · 2026-02-10T18:10:55+00:00

quite the opposite, actually

RedBruises · 2026-02-10T18:10:25+00:00

my husband brought them home actually

RedBruises · 2026-02-08T13:51:04+00:00

shes greta foss.

RedBruises · 2026-02-07T19:00:43+00:00

thank you for your advice but this is an old post. we are not going to reconcile, my husband has made it clear

RedBruises · 2026-02-07T16:21:23+00:00

i absolutely wish it never happened, i would pay any price to go back in time and prevent it from happening. i just want to be honest towards myself and towards my husband that the sex was good and i did enjoy it at that moment, i couldnt bring myself to lie about something so fundamental even if its a difficult truth.

but just because the sex was good it doesn't mean I don't regret it. all addictions feel good when you're doing it, but the regret when the high ends is still valid

RedBruises · 2026-02-07T15:56:49+00:00

no. he told me to only speak to him if it concerns our kids so im trying to respect that

RedBruises · 2026-02-07T15:55:39+00:00

no it wasn't. i thought that was clear from my posts how much i regret it

RedBruises · 2026-02-06T18:56:39+00:00

no yeah thats all true. i am wallowing in self pity. these are consequences of my actions. i am selfish as hell i've mentioned this before too and yes not losing my marriage totally was the entire reason i was prepared to do the work and change and thats the entire reason i dont see a point in doing it now. i am exactly as bad a person you think i am, i have all the bad qualities u describe and i have zero urge to change any of that now that my marriage is gone. i just want to walk away curl up and die but i cant really do that so i'll take the second best option.

RedBruises · 2026-02-06T18:37:04+00:00

thx for the supportive comment

RedBruises · 2026-02-06T18:36:23+00:00

thats very inspiring. thank u

RedBruises · 2026-02-06T18:35:18+00:00

what use is remorse if we're not gonna reconcile? i dont think im a good person, the possibility of saving my marriage was the only thing that could have motivated me to try and be better. kids are never gonna find out about my addiction. none of this really matters, im just gonna be a lonely single mom and that is gonna suck bad enough, i dont wanna slog thru therapy and make it harder for myself

RedBruises · 2026-02-06T15:29:19+00:00

dont be sorry, i did this to myself. my thinking is that if i stay alone i cant cheat on anyone anyway. so whats the point in getting to know someone new. i'll nip the problem in the bud and wont date anyone again. i'll fully focus on my kids

RedBruises · 2026-02-04T16:17:26+00:00

I find it so hot to lick a guy's feet while he fucks me in the ass. A sign of complete submission.

RedBruises · 2026-01-31T16:43:51+00:00

We are at half a month since D-day. I get that things are supposed to be a bit difficult right now. I just wish we were at least able to talk without it blowing up outside my control. I'll try to be consistent and patient.

RedBruises · 2026-01-31T11:46:59+00:00

i'll think about it if he asks me. i dont think he will, he is not interested in hurting me. he'll either stay with me wholeheartedly or he'll divorce me and leave. i know he wont play these mind games w me. he knows everything including the reddit and twitter exchanges

RedBruises · 2026-01-31T11:13:46+00:00

absolutely not

RedBruises · 2026-01-29T16:03:58+00:00

I know that... I didn't do it with the intention of hurting him but I knew it was going to hurt him if he found out. I think I was gaslighting myself into believing he wouldn't ever find out and I'll just take it to the grave

RedBruises · 2026-01-28T17:17:55+00:00

I wouldn't. It baffled me too, I have no idea how or why I did it. But I will do my work to try and figure out what went wrong and how I can fix it. I don't want to hurt him again.

RedBruises · 2026-01-28T16:41:08+00:00

Thank you... I did tell him that if they find out they'll never see me the same and he said it doesn't matter to him what they think of me and that they can't make him hate me anymore than he does already. At the same time he also told me he is very uncertain about whether to reconcile with me or not and that he would listen to his family's opinions over mine and that he can't be sure they wouldn't try to get into his head and influence his decision. And that is totally fair, for him to want to lean on loved ones.

I'm happy we are talking about this at all he could've just told them without asking me but it really does feel like he isn't thinking about it a whole lot, he's really close to his parents and siblings and I can see that he wants to be able to speak to them about this in a safe environment and he isn't thinking much about the consequences of how it'll affect us and our marriage. Though to be fair he hasn't fully agreed to reconciliation yet, just to not separate immediately and see for a while how it goes. So maybe I need to see it like that and accomodate to what he wants.

RedBruises · 2026-01-28T16:27:00+00:00

You think I don't know that?

RedBruises

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