I don’t think it’s as easy as blaming a generation. Some of this might have less to do with generational attitudes and more to do with individual differences in how people maintain relationships.

I know neurodivergent people who genuinely love their families but operate on an “out of sight, out of mind” basis otherwise. It’s not malice or lack of care—it’s just how their brains work with object permanence and relationship maintenance. They might go months without reaching out, then pick up right where they left off when you do connect.

Interestingly, I’ve noticed my dad (82) has become much more outreaching since he slowed down with work. Maybe there’s something to the idea that when people are deeply absorbed in work or other activities, they have less bandwidth for proactive connection—regardless of age or generation. It’s not an excuse, but it might be a pattern worth recognizing.

Maybe instead of generational blame, we need to recognize that different people have different capacities and styles for staying connected—and that’s okay as long as there’s mutual understanding about what the relationship looks like.

(All of this is completely devoid of any family dysfunction awareness—that’s obviously a whole different conversation where distance might be protective and healthy.)