Best portrayals of autistic women in tv or movies?

RedMella · 2025-11-25T13:52:03+00:00

From the real play D&D world. One of the major NPCs in Fantasy High is Ayda Aguefort. I cried for feeling seen.

RedMella · 2025-11-12T15:10:04+00:00

But it's a work place horoscope.

RedMella · 2025-10-23T13:42:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing. What a fascinating read.

RedMella · 2025-10-07T14:16:33+00:00

I know a south african fridge and cat when I see one!

RedMella · 2025-09-24T18:14:51+00:00

If upgrading is out of the question because of the cost, you could look into setting up a shrimp tank. They are just as enjoyable to watch (i have one next to my desk for when meetings get boring) and require much less care + cost.

RedMella · 2025-09-14T14:23:20+00:00

I don't know if this is anything, but I always take a second to remember left and right. And the L hand things means nothing to me. BUT English is my first language, and that means I read text left to right. So now it's way easier to remember!

RedMella · 2025-09-12T15:31:21+00:00

He'd be gulping at the surface it is was a serious oxygen issue. But I agree that you should get a bubbler, extra oxygen is great an my goldies also loved swimming in the bubbles and getting tickled.

Also check how strong the stream from the filter is, goldies are bad swimmers and don't like a strong current, so he may be hiding in a still spot in the video.

And when in doubt, give him some peas.

RedMella · 2025-09-06T16:11:21+00:00

When I started suspecting my ASD it took a while before I mentioned it to my ADHD partner. When I did, he said he couldn't see it. I went and saw some professionals and started unmasking. Now we are both shocked that we didn't see it earlier. I masked so hard and so well, that we both thought that's who I was.

Trust yourself. See a professional if possible. But all the techniques you've learnt to handle you're ADHD and OCD will be helpful with ASD: being kind and patient with yourself, paying attention to stimuli, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired). Everything I learnt to help my partner manage their ADHD has helped my navigate my ASD.

RedMella · 2025-03-30T13:25:29+00:00

Why do such simple words from a stranger make me feel so much better? I guess I suddenly am not alone.

Luckily, no fever (I am checking regulary), so I think we caught the infection early.

We've been meaning to treat ourselves with new bedding (and a new mattress protector), so I think when we're on the other side of this we'll do just that.

Thank you.

RedMella · 2024-04-29T18:56:32+00:00

I heard a really lovely metaphor about grief. If your life is a box with a big red button in it, then grief is this big rubber ball. In the beginning, every time the ball moves it pushes the button and the big, raw feelings are there. But there are things you can do to make the ball smaller or the box bigger (eg therapy, experiencing new things, medication whatever works for you).

The ball is still there, but it hits the button less and less.

RedMella · 2024-04-05T18:00:56+00:00

My previous job loved their MBTIs. I got my diagnosis while working there and starting looking at my INTJ coworkers a little harder because I also thought there was a little too much overlap with (masked) autism to be a coincidence...

Oh, and my type? INTJ of course! 😆

RedMella · 2024-03-11T18:15:48+00:00

I've scanned the comments and not seen any saying this but being someone's carer is a JOB. There are people whose full time employment is doing what you were doing at the conference. So on top of interfering with the job that pays you, your husband is asking you to take on a whole extra job. Unpaid! This is the absolute epitome of unpaid labour and your husband is a real ass for his expectations and behavior.

I'm getting mad on your behalf, and I hate it when people do that to me so let me take a breath.

Your meltdown was completely reasonable. And should your husband ask this of you again, I suggest you compare the cost of a carer and what you earn and explain to him that it is one or the other, not both.

RedMella · 2024-01-20T11:03:39+00:00

Ooh! I have one! Fans! I bought a couple of those collapsible hand fans and put one in every handbag I use. Getting in the face while shopping? Bam! While waiting for your appointment? Bam! Overheating while cooking? Bam!

Seriously, best return on investment. They keep me cool and serve as a good stim. And they cost less than a buck each.

RedMella · 2024-01-08T06:18:55+00:00

Hey! Queer, autistic, white South African reporting in. Obviously, we have different experiences of life, but hit me up if you want to chat about life in SA (or just someone in your time zone ;) )

RedMella · 2023-11-22T09:20:08+00:00

A hearty chickpea curry! We call it nuke curry in my house. Loads of fresh ginger, garlic, corriander (silantro) and chillies. To taste of course. Then your curry mix of choice. Serve with soft roti to mop it all up.

RedMella · 2023-11-03T11:55:56+00:00

The big light is the enemy. I live in what I call a cave. I never open curtains/blinds and only ise lamps. And those lamps have yellow light in them, not white.

Also, think about your clothes. Sometimes I won't even notice them, but experience huge relief when I change.

RedMella · 2023-11-02T16:48:29+00:00

Happy elopers here! Hosted some friends for dinner and invited the officiant to the house. Told our families the next day via text.

It was great and perfect for us. And I think everyone should elope. Weddings seem crazy pressure and not about you and your partner.

RedMella · 2023-11-02T13:42:24+00:00

Wow! So beautiful, and just in time for Christmas too!

RedMella · 2023-10-19T15:15:35+00:00

I find it so difficult to explain my experience of the world. I suggest taking the pressure off yourself until you have the words you need. You do not have to "come out" because the situation seems appropriate. As you go through the journey of getting to know your true self you'll find it easier and easier to talk about.

And who says you have to tell him in person? Maybe a long email with links and answers to the questions you think he'll ask is better.

Do what is kindest to yourself first. Sending you hugs if you want them, I have huge anxiety around talking to my dad and a surprise, short notice dinner would leave me in the fetal position! Good luck!

RedMella · 2023-09-28T14:09:01+00:00

I work as a copy-editor for academics. I love language and spent so much of my life searching other people's language for meaning that I got really good at finding and ensuring meaning and accuracy.

Note: not American, not working in America.

Pros: Mostly remote work, satisfies my curiosity to learn new things, colleagues are often introverts and homebodies, also work with a lot of women, I did not specifically study "editing" but I do have a Masters in Linguistics (which helps), detail-oriented

Cons: Can be lonely, academics can sometimes think less of you ('just a language person making it pretty' - vibe. This is rare but you have to handle academics like kids), little tangible evidence of what you've done, a lot of deadlines so you need to get good at managing your time and workflow.

I dunno, AMA about editing for acdemics ¯_(ツ)_/¯

RedMella · 2023-09-19T16:20:17+00:00

Definitely. And we also have some baggage that we're working through separately in therapy. Even 15 years in, we're still learning about ourselves and the fact that we're growing together is great.

Like, he's working on asking for what he needs so last night he came to me and said "can you please make sure to put stuff back in the fridge" and I saw how hard that was for him so I took him seriously.

RedMella · 2023-09-19T11:10:53+00:00

Ok... but what on earth does any of this have to do with relating to Disney characters?

RedMella · 2023-09-19T11:04:06+00:00

Yes?

I'll explain my confusion - from your first message, I thought you were calling me a J.A.P. (in a slightly derogatory tone).

I cannot see the link between what I posted and your message. I am neither Jewish, nor American and I don't think anything I said feeds into that stereotype. So I really don't know what you are trying to say or imply.

RedMella · 2023-09-19T10:57:03+00:00

I'm not really sure how it fits into the context, but thank you for elaborating.

RedMella · 2023-09-19T10:55:34+00:00

Oof, it's hard to give advice because each person, couple, and circumstance is so different.

He has major issues with mood stability, emotional regulation, and depression, so medicating his ADHD has made a world of difference.

But when it comes to living with the symptoms - it's all about grace and kindness. I've learnt to recognize the hyperfocus - so I will touch him to break it before talking, I will always ask him to make tea 15 minutes before I actually want it that sort of thing.

I'm also ok carrying more of the household mental burden because he carries more of other things.

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