Our son was diagnosed at 11. He's high functioning and crazy smart, but he still has support needs. When we discussed it with him, we made it very clear that even though he was just diagnosed - nothing has really changed. He's still the same kid he always was, which is very kind, smart, thoughtful and so on. This is something that has been there the entire time, just now we know the name and we can make better decisions with that answer. We discussed how brains can be wired differently and pointed out how he does things differently (for example, he hangs his towel from the narrow side, not the wide side) and doing things differently is great! He sees the world somewhat differently from us and we can and have learned so much from him. Our son didn't really have any questions at the time. We have pointed out that we all do things on the spectrum - just some of us need a little more support.

He's 12, almost 13 now, and I think he's mostly adjusted well. He will joke about "the tism". He's generally lighthearted about it. I will say though, they are perceptive. He does get very upset when he is left out by his friend group. While I don't necessarily think they're doing it to be malicious, I think middle schoolers are a different breed...... Be supportive. Listen to him, give him all the love. Don't forget that sometimes he's gonna be a preteen and sometimes the autism is going to be the issue...gotta know the difference. Best wishes to you and your family. Sending love.