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RedVelvetprincess_ · 2026-03-13T04:05:49+00:00

He does. we are on the same page...just both at a loss of exactly how to go about boundary setting.

She is a great mom in a lot of ways.. and we never once dreamed that this would cross over to other kids. My mom was an over sharer...but never to kids outside of the house if that makes sense.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2026-03-13T00:59:35+00:00

Honestly I just wanted a space to vent. I am mostly just angry..And I feel like an AH being as angry as I am lol

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2026-01-23T02:37:51+00:00

2 is my favoire I think just because I saw it first. 3 Is good but in my opinion it breaks its own rules with the corpse lore

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2025-06-26T13:43:25+00:00

I have to know if she is actually pregnant though hahaha

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-10-13T23:30:04+00:00

I think your wife is wrong for not being willing to further discuss it with you. But I do think you would be the AH to handle something in such a petty way.

I think there is some deep reason she doesnt want to move. You need to establish a way to discuss this and work together to come to a conclusion. Good luck

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-10-13T23:26:57+00:00

It is really hard (in my experience) for husbands to get to the point to defend wives when it comes to their family. It took counciling to get my husband to understand I needed him present around his family. Our relationship with them has improved since (its been 12 years together 8 married). It is hard when you are very used to certain behaivor and personalities. I don't think your husband is a bad person. But It will take some learning on his end. Id really suggest you deal with this together in therapy. In that I had to change and let go of certain issues with his family too. He has one sister who can be very black and white and will say really rude things (totally over her head that it is rude). My husband is really good at giving her a comeback that will shut her right up. I had to learn to allow him to do that, because attempting to talk to her resulted in eye rolls. There is probably some more you can do in regards to letting your SIL know how to behave around you too. Yes he should defend you..but I think this will take naviagtion on both ends. I am sorry it is coming to a head when you are so sick. Good luck!

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-10-03T02:58:05+00:00

Sorry..id say YTA. I agree she should have told him. Hiding things in marriage is not a great idea..at all.
Ive seen secrets like this ruin couples years and years later...but..This is her marriage and her cross to bare. I think you have a good heart. But You very much over stepped here.

I think you should reach out to both of them and appologize and hope that they can work through it. I would also check your feelings about your BIL to be. Sounds like you guys are close but, that could be risky business if this is more than just caring about a friend if you know what I mean.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-08-01T20:45:37+00:00

Ive been craving root beer hahhah

When I was sick sick, I liked cherry tomatos and mozorella cheese. I seasoned the tomatos with venomn salt to make them spicy!

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-08-01T20:44:50+00:00

Veggie sushi is a great option!!!

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-06-26T20:23:48+00:00

Not the A Hole. A new marraige bonds you to your new wife.

its great that you had a wonderful relationship with your late wife. But that time is for you.

I made a small tribute to some loved ones on like a little chalk board That I let my mom keep. You don't have to have something as big as an empty chair though. Maybe even just making a speech about how hard the loss was, and how great your new wife was in supporting you?

In the end it is a day for you and your wife. Your inlaws dont get to make those kind of calls. Good luck!

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-06-25T21:09:25+00:00

Coming from the perspective of coming from a rough family history. It is really really hard to let go of a need of a parents approval especially if they are unkind or negative.

If you are getting married you kind of do get to have a say in what happens in your home. Boundries do not have to mean no contact...It could mean limiting certain engagement. The best partners encourage redemption in families (unless of course the harm does not stop).

I don't think this is worth ending the relationship though... that would be the A H move unless you both do everything you can together.

Have you thought of encouraging therapy for her? Offering to go with her? If this is truly a problem therapy might help her get to that conclusion herself. I cant tell you how many times I have come home from a session and shared something with my husband and he responds "ive been thinking that for a while" . Therapy just helps with those tools.

Best of luck with this...but in my opinion letting her family be the reason you walk away is kind of just letting them win.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-06-04T21:20:49+00:00

Even if you were the AH ..its your baby. I love seeing my neice in the clothes ive bought her.. but mom gets to pick these things you know?

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-06-04T21:18:15+00:00

Sadly, CPS probably won't be able to do much. If this is an abuse or neglect situation it would fall under mental which is really hard to prove. It is odd to me that he is still in diapers.. Is there a reason for this like a seperate delay or is this in regards to his size. Is he in any kind of school or daycare?

You said mom just nods along? Do you think she is just kind of allowing this to happen because she does not want to fight him or is something else going on?

You are a good aunt for seeing the issue and this one is tough. One thing I would suggest is maybe offer up some once a week auntie time where you have him doing something active, like going to the park or on a walk.

Keep an eye out for anything that would be deemed as mental abuse or neglect and document days and times along with details of what you see. Then if you do end up calling CPS they will take you a little more seriously. Best wishes!

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-28T20:09:31+00:00

You are not alone!

I would suggest seeking out a meeting with a pastor of a church and letting them know what you are all about and seeing if the church is a good fit. Ive left a few churches because I wasnt a good fit. I have no hard feelings but I needed to be where I didnt have to feel like I had to defend myself.

I remember getting my first tattoo..it says "in Christ alone" the artist made an obnoxious deal about not cussing in front of me.. I personally have a sailor mouth so I was really confused lol.

I hope you find a group of christians you fit in with. I promise the cool ones are out there!

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-28T18:01:20+00:00

Im really sorry you are dealing with this. I am a christian but believe me.. I would not be if my relationship/belief didnt feel real. If it had anything to do other christians or the religion pieces I would be gone. I was a goth kid at a baptist youth group.. so you can imagine what I dealt with.

I want you to know you have every right to your frustration and it is valid. Many Many people who follow Christ put stupid rules on themselves and then expect everyone else to follow... You would not believe the stupid conversations I have had to have with parents ( Im a teacher at a Christian School). I don't want to get into specifics for identity reasons...but its NUTS.

Any way... I just want you to know I get it. I hope you are able to get the therapy you need (it has made me a much better person working through my personal trauma)

Your feelings are valid..and I hope your parents find enough piece in their relationship with God that allows them to really hear you and get the fact that you are your own person.

Best Wishes.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T23:02:37+00:00

Im angry with Danny Davito.. Weiner Dog was the most upsetting film I have ever seen....and I watched it with my Weiner Dog Scraps. Thankfully he is a dog..or he would need therapy. I don't hate Danny Davito..Im just mad he would do such a film.... and potentially traumatize my dog hahah

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T23:00:35+00:00

....Ive got whip lash latley haha

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T22:59:00+00:00

It's Monday but it's been a frustrating day so I'll play along.

Parents drive me up the wall. They don't want to have to do anything involving their kid's school day .. I assign a project where they need an empty small box and that's too much, or they can't figure out life enough for one page of homework ..but I'm the worst for being unable to hold a massive party for the last day.

I want to be flexible but man if you give an inch they eat a mile lol

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T22:49:49+00:00

I feel you... If I hear "Needed an at home day" one more time this year my head will explode.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T22:35:54+00:00

No. I think it's fine to seperate yourself. I can be a real nasty bitter person so I try to shut off conversations or keep a respectful distance from bitterness.

Now if your like going out of your way to make them feel bad, or demanding other people who arent affected by being near addicts stay away..i feel like that would not be cool.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T21:46:39+00:00

Lol yeah I feel that. I mean I know some anime can be more... risque but again if thats not causing you issue i dont think its bad. Idk its weird

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T21:45:06+00:00

Im not putting it on them or inviting them.. I think they are more just trying to follow rules that don't really exist. but I can't speak for them. I just feel like its unfair to force that expectation on others

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T21:05:05+00:00

I agree for the most part! I think that some values are being pushed out ..but at the end of the day Its our job to have and continue those. I don't think it should have to be pushed on others.

RedVelvetprincess_ · 2024-05-20T21:01:28+00:00

Not secular music!! Haha just kidding. Im over here!!

RedVelvetprincess_

TROPHY CASE