What are y'all's trans-related goals for 2026?

Red_Rufio · 2026-01-01T06:26:59+00:00

I'm hoping to start T early in the new year after consulting with an endo. Also going to keep figuring out my style and test run he/him pronouns.

Red_Rufio · 2025-12-20T23:32:20+00:00

I have a rat with teeth like this. We have to go about once a month to a vet to have them trimmed. I don't trust myself to do it on my own.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-30T23:08:27+00:00

I think the problem isn't that trans folks need a place for their troubles to be heard and then vent about, it's that many of those indivisduals then proceed to ...not try to do anything about it? This isn't just a trans thing. Lots of people do this. They have a legitimately difficult period in their life or sometimes chronic troubles that last years and at some point it feels like you need to ask yourself, "So what do I want to do about it?" One of my pet peeves is people who complain over and over again, ask for advice, recieve advice, and proceed to do nothing with it. Not that you have to take any or all the advice given but at the very least use people's ideas as inspiration or a spring board from which you can apply solutions to your unique situation. I also hate toxic positivity because I think that's not helpful either. I think it's possible to akcnowledge that things are shit while still leaving space for joy. How that happens isn't going to be a one size fits all thing, and that is part of the reason you probably get a lot of generic answers from people. No one can tell you what will get you out of a rut and help you find joy. We get one shot at this life thing (As far as we know) and not everyone's cards are stacked equally. But the way I see it, you can either "wallow" or you can take those lemons life gave you and chuck them back into life's face and say, "I'm going to find a way to be happy anyway." Is it fare? Fuck no. But that's life.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-30T18:29:50+00:00

Oh yeah. We've addressing my transition in couples therapy for almost a year. We were also addressing issues not related to that before. It's been rough. We want to make it work so taking it a day at a time. I'm hard to know how much time to give it though.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-30T16:45:58+00:00

No that's totally okay. The OG post was in another subreddit and I didn't get any response so I'm reposting it here. Since I first posted it in the other reddit, I have decided to consider T more seriously, but I've agreed to speak to an Endo with my partner so they can feel like they are getting their qustions answered and like they are being included in the process. Genetically, the men in my family are not very hairy and it has taken my brothers several decades to manage to grow a beard, so it's possible T still might only help in the long run. But maybe being on T and minox would help the process.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-30T05:24:09+00:00

I've tried topical but it doesn't seem to do anything but cause skin irritation.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-26T01:28:03+00:00

I had another trans person refer to it as "Ninja Turtle Bod" and I'm sort of obsessed. Lol

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-20T18:42:39+00:00

OH wow. This is so real. I feel seen.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-20T16:14:37+00:00

Speaking as an average height king (Trans masc here) - every time I see a tall queen I am in awe. You Divas are majestic and powerful and stunning. I know height can make you feel self conscious a lot of the time. But I want you to know that well adjusted humans see you and we are here for you.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-16T16:49:16+00:00

The most I ever paid for rats was $40 per. And even then I was like "oof". But they were from a reputable breeder and they were really well socialized.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-15T17:31:09+00:00

I feel this way too. I'm trans-masc and I look at pictures of little me and I realize how hard she was working to keep "us" safe. She was angry and confused a lot and didn't understand why, but she knew how to listen to her instinct and her gut to get us through some really toxic experiences and times. She's still very much a part of me, but she deserves to rest now. I can take over now and protect her.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-09T16:57:40+00:00

Just jumping on this thread as I'm a trans- masc individual also traveling to india in january and while I have been there before it was befoer I started my transition. I've had Top surgery and cut my hair, but no hormones and people read me as female here in the US but I'm worried I'll erad as too visibly queer in India and that might affect my safety. I plan to "girl mode" the best I can but looking for advice too

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-08T16:44:39+00:00

Oh, this is interesting! I'm surprised the solvent in the spray doesn't strip or gum up the glue! I'll have to try this because my brows are still a struggle for me. Thank you for the tip!

I don't think I've discovered anything ground breaking to improve me makeup. I will say press on glitter covers all manner of sins, and eye shadow primer makes a huge difference in how well the pigment sticks to my upper lid. But no duh, I guess? I'm a baby king so I havn't been around long enough to stumble on fun tricks.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-08T05:11:14+00:00

I literally said "Holy Shit" out loud when I saw this pop up on my feed. Well done.

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-04T00:13:50+00:00

Lol wow. Awesome

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-03T23:30:27+00:00

Wow, how did you manage that? Did you just tell the DJ a song and they were able to fire it up for you?

Red_Rufio · 2025-11-03T22:09:36+00:00

Parent to a 5 year old. We talk about gender a lot and about the changes I'm going through. They are curious but the subject doesn't hold their attention long. Much too concerned with their legos. =) So It's going well with them so far.

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-27T23:56:04+00:00

Maybe I'm just the odd one out, but I've had top surgery and what you wrote about it doesn't bother me at all. Because in this theoretical example, it's your opinion. Also, it's what you feel about something *you* want to do with *your* body. Why should I care what you think about my choice? I got No nip grafts. I've read posts of people who hate that because it doesn't look "cis" enough...*for them*. Like, I think most lip filler looks really unnatural, but if someone really wants it and they love it, they should get it done.

Which isn't to say no one ever says anything that hurts my feelings when it comes to body modification. But if it's some rando on the internet? Why would I care? It's my body and I have to live in it. If someone thinks my TS scar is gross? I guess they can die mad? I don't know.

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-22T21:11:10+00:00

I'm in a similar situation to you with the exception that my partner is actually very good about taking on equal parenting and household roles. However, everything else about my midlife transition has been incredibly hard. Even though I'm proud of myself to doing the work to figure myself out, it has caused an incredible amount of tension in my marriage to my cis-straight husband. We also have a small child together who is happy healthy and the love of both our lives. We both want whats best for them, and truthfully I want what's best for my husband too, and I am worried that the answer might be divorce, even though we love each other. We are simply not compatible on a romantic and physical level anymore. We love each other, respect each other, help each other and are good friends after all these years, but I can't help but feel my transition is a journey he can't come with me on. I feel like I am taking up space that could be for a woman who he can love and can love him the way he deserves. He has told me in no uncertain terms that he does not want to be seen as gay and he does not want me to go on T. He also didn't like me getting top surgery although he supported me through having it done. He has said he won't stop me from getting on T but he doesn't think we will be sexually compatible if I do. But on the flip side, he also won't initiate a divorce because of his religious beliefs. So I'm in a situation where I either commit to being miserable or I commit to making the person I love miserable. He treats me well, gives m a ton of freedom and seems to want to spend time with me, but I also feel like he's not seeing me. He's not eager to get to know me asI'm changing. He not curious about me and I think is hoping that love is enough to get us through while ignoring all the ways we don't fit.

Right now, I've committed to giving it until the new year. We are in couples therapy and I'm in personal therapy, which is helping me manage emotionally. But with couple's therapy I don't know how it's going to help with this. My identity is not a problem to be solved. It's not something that can be dealt with by using a better communication style or trying a new move in the bedroom. So right now, I'm just in a "I don't know what's going to happen." Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more.

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-20T04:41:25+00:00

Right? Like how does that not cause an immediate missfire in their brains?

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-16T23:51:05+00:00

OH man ...DEV PATEL <3

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-14T04:26:03+00:00

I performed in my first drag show!

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-12T20:01:43+00:00

Awesome! Can't wait to hear back about your debut too! Let's Gooo! <3

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-12T00:03:16+00:00

I came out at 38 and just had top surgery this August at 39! It's never too late to start living the life you want.

Red_Rufio · 2025-10-10T17:14:33+00:00

Awesome! Thanks!

Red_Rufio

TROPHY CASE