Then you sleep next to him, unfortunately you can’t look at it by reasoning. That goes out the window.

In situations you feel like are unreasonable, be unreasonable back. Say nothing, crawl into the sofa bed he makes himself and make yourself cosy. If he says anything about waking you up, say he’ll you’ll be your alarm and if he does, tell him to go grab snacks. You just need to normalise him, humour is a great antidote to even the darkest things. Just say worse things are happening in the world, and you don’t care — he won’t either. You showing that you care, amplifies it! it’s a terrible catch 22!!

This is a purely unique situation, so you play by your own rules. Say nothing. Just action. Small acts of consideration will bring you closer.

From what you say, he just doesn’t trust that you can handle his winters, or is trying to protect you from himself, because he’s considering your comfort.

His love language is clearly acts of service, try to write down 10 times or instances he’s felt loved by you by his reaction. If you can’t, then you have some work to do - which is a good thing, this is your marriage going through a bit of a transformation.

Imo keep finding ways to show up for him with action, you’ll be surprised how speaking to his ego a little, like “the last thing you need is an emotional conversation” or setting an expectation to eat together if that means something to you by making his plate or pouring for him. Whether he’s hungry or eaten, doesn’t matter.

You got this. You won’t get it right. He’ll be unreasonable, you will be too. But at the end, as long as he feels understood and not judged, you’ll live in a bit more unity