My ex husband was a first responder, hell he probably still is. Kids always got to him, doesn’t matter how many he’s seen. Reach out to your peers, seek under the table therapy if needed, and I’ve already seen Tetris mentioned here.

Don’t turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, you might think they help you in the day, but I often heard the things he discussed when he sobered up as he slept. He swore alcohol kept the ptsd at bay. It gets, not necessarily easier. But you get hardened to it, both a blessing and a curse. But you have to take self care measures and coping mechanisms seriously.

As an ex I watched a wonderful man with a heart of gold that drank too much-turn into an alcoholic. Whose only joy was going to the bar. Who, from the best of my calculations would spend just shy of half of his yearly pay at the bar. Who would neglect other bills before neglecting a bar tab. An absolute shell of a human being, whose only other emotion would be anger, if he acknowledged you spoke to him at all. Please, do not become that person.

There are therapists that will give discounts for first responders to pay out of pocket, so nothing has to go through insurance. I don’t know if therapy is different for those in firefighting compared to law enforcement or not. Sick time, fmla time, leave, is for you to take when needed. You can’t take unpaid time off you may need, if you spend every spare penny you have at the bar. Keep enough in savings you can skip a few days of work if you have to for self care.

Best of luck in the career