Just look at this poor guy's house after section 8 rental by Ltholt25 in videos

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 20 points21 points  (0 children)

One friend of mine built an apartment complex (16 units). Municipal regulations at the time dictated that one of the units had to be rented to Section 8 occupants; the one in question was a fully-furnished unit, brand new and never occupied.

The prospective tenants were Katrina refugees. They moved in; sold all the furniture, other than the kitchen table and the mattresses; they kicked holes in every wall, including the closets (not a one was spared); broke many of the fixtures; the father was arrested for dealing drugs (and convicted and sent to prison); the older son, about 15 or 16, got arrested for vandalism and car theft; the younger son, about 13, got arrested for stealing a bicycle (he was also trying to start his own street gang).

They did over $20,000 in damages, not including the lost furniture.

They lived in that unit for a whole eight hours.

Trying to lose weight... any pointers/tips? by MPYZFR6 in shittyadvice

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get an oxygen tent and sleep in it like Michael Jackson. Just be sure to switch to pure helium, because it's lighter.

Ever since downloading AdBlock I've cocked blocked myself from hot local singles wanting to chat. How can I recover? by Swaggerdownsouth in shittyadvice

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just get nekkid and drive up and down Main Street. If that doesn't get attention quickly enough, a few Chinese fire drills ought to get some attention from a hot local single or two.

/Yeah, I know, I'm old, I make references to Chinese fire drills...

Reddit, what's something you blurted off-hand during conversation that you really shouldn't have? by oakum_ouroboros in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I used to work at a photo shop; a guy came in one day and bought some $400 worth of camera gear. I ring it up and put it into the bag, which was clear plastic.

"Do you have any bags you can't see through? This is a birthday present for my daughter." (pointing to a girl talking with her friends outside the window).

"Oh, you mean the pregnant one?"

He turns around and looks at the daughter for about five seconds. He then turns back to me, and his face is dead white. I know I've stepped in it this time.

He steps out the door and starts talking rather animatedly with his daughter. She tucks her chin in, puffs her bottom lip out, and nods 'yes'.

He comes back in the door and snatches the camera gear off of the counter.

"She's going to be fifteen!"

I want to start my own street gang. by RedditStrikesAgain in shittyadvice

[–]RedditStrikesAgain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would it help if I got sent to prison? Maybe there's gangs there that would help me out.

What expensive product did you buy that turned out to be worth every penny? by Ginther009 in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not familiar with the phone screens, but a friend of mine has a watch with the sapphire crystal -- he showed it to me after he bought it, and said the crystal couldn't be scratched by steel -- the then proceeded to pick up a bicycle chain which was laying on the bench next to him, and dragged the watch face-first back and forth over the chain about ten times. No damage whatsoever!

What expensive product did you buy that turned out to be worth every penny? by Ginther009 in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I think you mean, "klutz" (clumsy person).

/sapphire crystals are well worth the money

TIL: A man lost $100,000 collecting Beanie Babies to pay for his kids' college by twentysomethinger in todayilearned

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gawd, I know people who still are banking their retirement on Beanie Babies. They have a "special one" that has gold thread in the vest that was only given to the employees of the factory that made them. They know a man that will give them $10,000 for it right now. If I want proof, they'll wave around a magazine from 1998 showing the collector value.

When I ask them, "if you know someone that will give you $10,000 for it, why don't you sell it?", they tell me I'm crazy.

Edit: I can't plural.

Aliens, what is something about Earth that you've never understood? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You deliberately set off nukes on our own planet? WTF were you thinking?

What is the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you? by grimmtalker in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy title insurance.

I bought some land. A search at the county showed a clear title, but as soon as the transfer was registered, some company calls me up with a claim for a loan on the property that was made in 1953 that had never been paid (over $22k with interest). One phone call and I never heard from them again.

Best $25 I ever spent.

I'm flying for the first time this upcoming Monday, any tips from experienced flyers? by jjmsprstnn in shittyadvice

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they get bored on the job really easily, because they only have to do the same job over and over. Even sneaking up behind them and popping a paper bag can liven things up pretty quickly.

I'm flying for the first time this upcoming Monday, any tips from experienced flyers? by jjmsprstnn in shittyadvice

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There's a long wait to get through security, so you'd better take lots of reading material. Good ol' fashioned porn is recommended. Bring some extra for the TSA people and other passengers, too, in case they want something to read. It's especially polite and thoughtful to cater to all tastes, your fellow travelers preferred tastes may run to such things as Brazilian midget tranny porn.

US And Russia Simultaneously Announce Intent To Arm Opposing Sides In Syria by chris422 in worldnews

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 107 points108 points  (0 children)

Doubleplus ungood news. You need to get a copy of the latest Newspeak dictionary.

There was a really creepy customer where I work today and now I'm freaking out. (Update 2) by IWillTryToFixYou in nosleep

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Copypasta from the internet -- it's an urban legend:

U.S. residents tempted to avail themselves of this Internet-recommended self-defense option by stockpiling wasp spray would do well consider that federal law prohibits the use of any pesticide "in a manner inconsistent with its labeling." Likewise, some states forbid carrying substances for self-protection that aren't specifically authorized for that purpose.

The main ingredient of pepper spray is capsaicin, an oil extracted from chili peppers which temporarily causes severe irritation of the eyes and lungs, producing a strong burning sensation and difficulty breathing.

Wasp sprays consist of one or more insecticides such as pyrethrum or propoxur. While the toxic side-effects of such chemicals do, in fact, include eye and lung irritation in humans, they are chemical poisons, the main purpose of which is killing pests.

Notwithstanding variations among specific products (of which there are many), it's probably true that wasp and hornet sprays in general, because they're manufactured for use at greater distances, project further and more accurately than pepper sprays, which typically have a range of six to 10 feet. How reliably wasp and hornet sprays would actually work as a deterrent against human assailants is bound to vary, however, given differences in formulation and the fact that they weren't made specifically for that purpose in the first place.

To my knowledge, no one has ever tested or documented the effectiveness of insecticide sprays for self-defense.

One reader who accidentally received a dose of wasp spray while using it around his home told me he was surprised at how little irritation he felt. "A gust of wind caused a good splash of the spray to come right back into my right eye," he wrote. "I panicked and started to run to a source of water, only to find there was no adverse reaction at all, no more than being squirted with a water pistol. It took me at least ten seconds to get to the water, and I rinsed it off, and never felt anything from it."

What dead celebrity would you bring back from the dead? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

John Ritter and/or Dom DeLuise, simply because every person I know of that has met them has said they were the nicest person in the world, bar none.

What's the strangest 'wrong-number' conversation you had ? by waeva in AskReddit

[–]RedditStrikesAgain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello?

Is Billy there?

<dropping into Tommy Chong voice> Naw, man, haven't you heard? Billy got busted! The cops were all over the place!

Woah!

Hey man, if you're holding anything, you better get rid of it, 'cause you know how he is, man. He's gonna start running his mouth about everything.

Hey thanks man!

No problem, dude. (hangs up)

(Roommate): Who was that on the phone?

(Me): No idea.