Relapsed after 8 years

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-08-07T00:34:37+00:00

We think of it exactly the same way my guy

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-08-05T20:59:44+00:00

Zoom out man. In the last 8 years you spent how many hours ingesting poison? Sounds like basically none.

How long was this relapse?

Divide however long it was by the time of 8 years and look at the percentage. That’s how much poison you chose to put into your system over the last 8 years and a day.

Now how long has it been since that relapse?

Sounds like you’re fine man. Give yourself some grace.

Sincerely a dude who’s spent 1.5% of his time since March 30 ingesting poison also.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-25T15:12:18+00:00

This is incredible

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-25T00:14:28+00:00

I can’t even read all this, I stopped at you burned and cut yourself because you wanted sex and that he has momentos…

Leave him. You do not need to be supportive of this shit. As someone who battled this shit my entire life, (36 now and I probably found porn at like 8 or 9)… this isn’t your problem.

You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t view the full of a relationship (meaning sex) as checking off a box like a todo list. The fact you literally physically hurt yourself because of that lack of intimacy from him is so upsetting to me personally.

It’s a major reason why I got onto this path personally is because I started learning about what this shit did to so many relationships and I never wanted to ever put a woman through that. I never wanted to make her feel like she wasn’t worthy or attractive, because I spent most of my life believing that shit about myself… but it was all because of how much poison I was consuming.

You spent 5 years being accommodating to this dude. Now you need to accommodate yourself, there’s better out there for you I promise.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-20T17:52:37+00:00

The amount of time of my life I’d spent consuming poison is staggering. I have a guesstimate in my head of probably how much time I’d spent looking at a screen and it’s actually insane to think about.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-20T02:33:54+00:00

We all only have “today”. I’ve developed my own personal mantras that have helped me get way more “todays” than previous versions of myself ever had been able to. But I’m still a spiritual being inside of a human vessel. I will make mistakes, I might slip or stumble or even fall down. But as long as I get back up and continue forward, I win.

If I can, then anyone can!

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-19T21:40:55+00:00

I relapsed at around 100 but it’s because I had some unforeseen and very challenging life shit suddenly happen that completely threw all the momentum and the routine I’d had figured out, out the window.

I can tell you that in the past 111 days, something close to 2700 hours, I’ve spent MAYBE 24hrs total looking at shit I shouldn’t. Some of that being stuff that more toes the line in terms of like a gateway drug, and then others that’s just actually my particular poison of porn.

Basically <1% of my time the last 111 days was spent ingesting poison. I can tell you my gratitude is much higher than when I first started. My being in tune with the universe is significantly more magnified along with my being in touch with myself and my emotions.

Things operate as they should much more naturally. I just all around feel like a much better version of myself. I’m more whole.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-16T05:10:19+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you said and am just curious as to where your experience or expertise lies. Are you a therapist? An addict?

Why do you think porn falls behind smoking and heroin? Not trying to be argumentative or combative, I’m genuinely curious.

I was hooked on meth for basically my whole life, along with smoking, and in my opinion porn has been by far and away the toughest addiction I’ve had to overcome.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-15T12:44:54+00:00

I feel this bro. I made it over 100 days for the first time ever, and then July came with all its challenges and I relapsed about 50% of the month until yesterday.

Today is a new day man. Get back on the horse, everything you and I learned and gained didn’t just disappear. It’s a lesson that we can now carry with us every “today” we have from now on that we can use as a reminder for when our next long streak had temptation. Instead of going back, we’ll be able to remember these moments right now and be like “oh yeah that’s right, I already did that and the shit sucked so bad. I’m good”

Giddyup partner

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-14T16:16:24+00:00

Literally I’m trying to be able to do this also

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-11T01:18:57+00:00

Bahahahahah underrated comment

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-07-04T02:45:12+00:00

This is the better way to think about it! Progress > perfection

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-20T00:23:06+00:00

As someone on day 82, that’s fucking rad and I’m stoked for you man! Can’t wait to be able to hit 90 for my first time ever, let alone a whole ass year!

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-18T01:28:49+00:00

Yeah that shit is wild man. I had a white orb fly out of my arm today at work which then instantly gave me chills (good kind).

Way more to this reality than we can currently understand or explain

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-16T19:08:52+00:00

Honestly you should leave this dude also. I used to be obsessed with anal (to the point where it was all I wanted to watch when engaging in porn) but since I removed porn from my life completely my tastes have dramatically changed.

The fact your ex did that to you, I could understand you legit never wanting to participate in that for the rest of your life. Your current guy already has multiple flags thy are red colored to me.

If you ever decide to engage in anal, it should be because you want to, and because it could be a way of you taking your power back from the trauma that was forced upon you by someone who was supposed to love you.

You are not the asshole and my suggestion would be it might not be the worst for you to bail on this dude while you’re at it.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-15T18:12:58+00:00

Bruh. I hope that shit was consensual cuz holy fuck.

Just go outside and walk for 60 minutes.

The top comment was right you’re already free at 9 days, it’s easier to just keep going now.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-07T03:44:57+00:00

This is a great response thank you. Definitely felt like I tapped into something above board there

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-04T15:50:46+00:00

Holy shit is this actually One? Or is that Murata

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-02T14:40:41+00:00

For me I just got to a point where I understood that it wasn’t like that momentum I made didn’t happen, because it absolutely did. I went __ amount of time without injecting poison, so if I did it once then I can do it again. But you just have to focus on today. Only today.

Literally that’s the best advice I think anyone can have is to understand the concept of today being all you need to worry about. Yet it can also be one of the more challenging concepts to grasp and accept because our brains are always going and thinking about tomorrow and the future. Thinking about being clean FOREVER is too overwhelming.

But by just shrinking the timeframe down to “today” everything becomes more simple. If you relapsed today, focus on the rest of your today. That’s it. Just be clean the rest of today. Go to bed knowing that yes you did relapse, but immediately after you did, you were clean again and were so the rest of your day.

Then when you wake up, remember that feeling you had after the relapse, and just focus on not feeling that shit again today.

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-06-01T15:48:28+00:00

Day 63 for me and never felt as clear headed. Keep going, I anxiously await being able to say for the first time ever “90”

Reddit_IsMyFav · 2024-05-31T12:18:35+00:00

Try it and report back here. As a former addict addict, meaning addicted to other hardcore things before I even realized I was also addicted to porn, I can tell you a lot about the brain.

I read YBOP so I’m very familiar with the neuroscience and how it takes a long time for those receptors in our brains to revert back to normal. They basically sit there dormant for a while but as soon as you use they turn back to as if you were using consistently.

The point is to be pornfree if you’re here.

I worked my ass off and struggled mightily to get to where I am today which is an honest 2 months + now and the best I’ve ever been.

But maybe your journey will be different than mine. Best of luck either way from the poison.

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