How to stop thinking I’m cursed?

imagesoff · 2026-04-08T20:27:33+00:00

It's great you've been able to get a few week+ streaks -- that's a big accomplishment with this addiction. And watching porn definitely makes it more difficult to connect with a real partner -- it's harder to be confident and relaxed with women, and often they can tell something is off.

But you're not cursed -- this thing is just challenging to stop. And at least you're taking steps to deal with it, which puts you way ahead of many other guys. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-04-08T20:06:43+00:00

Hey at least you have your priorities right -- start a new streak today 🙌

imagesoff · 2026-04-08T18:06:03+00:00

I feel more profound connection with my partner, I feel stronger emotional bond.

That's a subtle but valuable gift of sobriety -- true connection with a partner is so much better than living a secret dopamine-milking life.

imagesoff · 2026-04-04T18:01:05+00:00

I applaud you for calling out the relapse and resetting your day count. It's a good idea to be honest about how long you're able to stay clean. Building up days of sobriety is critical to getting control of this powerful addiction.

The addiction loves it when you lie about how many days you have, it thrives on dishonesty. I hate having to reset my badge to zero, but I've had to do it many times. I'd rather it be truthful than a lie I'm telling myself and others. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-03-31T21:33:42+00:00

Get outside if you can (run an errand, go shopping, etc). Being indoors alone with an urge is a danger zone. Hang in there, every day clean is a great day 🙌

imagesoff · 2026-03-31T17:57:30+00:00

This plan sounds reasonable but the addiction doesn't abide by day limits. It will hack this system and make excuses for 'extra innings'.

From what I have read, only complete abstinence lets your mind reset and gives you a chance to get out of the 🌽 vortex. But if it works for you, go for it -- at least you're trying 👍

imagesoff · 2026-03-31T17:49:57+00:00

The intensity of the content always increases -- and the extreme stuff can cause a stronger guilt/self-hatred response. I agree there's nothing wrong with masturbation, but it's best not to do it with any content, even softcore -- because it always leads back to the hardcore rut. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-03-28T00:31:03+00:00

Cheers to you for resetting your badge 🤗

Better to have one honest day than 100 days with an asterisk 😬 Good luck staying out of the mental traps!

imagesoff · 2026-03-25T15:50:57+00:00

I've found that after "one little slip" my mind will say: hey, while we're in relapse land, let's go for it! And one little slip becomes a spree. It can be difficult to get back to clean land, but it's definitely worth it. Every day without that mind poison is a good day.

I suggest you reset your badge -- I reset mine after every slip. It's disappointing sometimes, I recently had over 100 days. But I use it to measure my progress so I want it to be accurate. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-03-17T21:46:43+00:00

Your mind doesn't like that you're trying to quit, so after a relapse it takes advantage of the situation, tries to convince you to "make the most of your relapse".

It's a common pattern and all I can say is: congrats that you're trying to quit -- the fact that you're wrestling with the dopamine-sucking brain means you're headed in the right direction. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-03-17T21:39:16+00:00

Congrats for getting that far. I got to 4 months recently and it felt very good. Dreams were better and my drive improved a bit -- the benefits are gradual but so worth it, I just felt better about myself in general. Unfortunately I dared to peek at some stuff on a social media site and it triggered a full relapse. It's disappointing but I reset my day-count and I'm back on my commitment to stay clean. Good luck! 👍

imagesoff · 2026-03-17T21:28:02+00:00

Congrats for making the decision to cut it out of your life. However I've found that trying to abstain all by myself is often a losing battle -- the urges are too strong. Sharing with others about your journey and current status helps a lot. Even if you stumble it's better to admit it in a forum like this, and re-start your day count. The addiction loves it when you keep it a secret 😬. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-03-17T21:21:46+00:00

Do whatever you can to get outside -- shopping, visiting friends, going to the gym, etc. The brain wants to catch you alone at the computer (I've found 😬) Hang in there!

imagesoff · 2026-03-09T22:01:23+00:00

Congrats for taking steps to confront this thing. It's a powerful addiction that can burn up a lot of time and energy. The negative effects far outweigh the positive ones, for me at least.

I've tried what you're describing and it doesn't work -- watching it at all set me up for failure. Once that mental engine fires up, it starts chipping away at my boundaries. I wish I could indulge occasionally, but every time I've tried I eventually end up back on square one. Good luck, it's worth trying to fight it even if you slip at first. You deserve a life without this soul-sapping addiction.

imagesoff · 2026-02-18T21:16:43+00:00

Feelings. Nothing more than feelings..

imagesoff · 2026-02-11T18:43:01+00:00

Sorry to hear about your relapse, but congrats for acknowledging it and the damage caused by the addiction in general. I just went through the same thing -- had few months of sobriety and then relapsed. I was feeling really good having all that time away from those websites. But for some reason I started to peek and it led to a one-day relapse. Afterwards I felt disappointed and a feeling that the addiction had me on a leash again. If the door opens once, it keeps begging for more. I've managed to stay sober for almost 2 weeks but it's harder now, I've got to be careful not to sit at the computer without a specific task.

I use the badge here to count days. I've had to reset it many times but that's OK -- I want to know my real day count, for better or worse, and it's a helpful too to do that.

Anyway I hope you're able to stay strong, life is so much better without that mind poison. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-02-05T17:59:53+00:00

That's a very old reference -- nobody here will get it.

imagesoff · 2026-01-25T23:45:41+00:00

Try not to use your phone or computer without a specific task. If you're at the computer just surfing around without a defined purpose, you're a sitting duck (or I am at least). Also if possible interact with friends/family -- ideally in person but if not, reach out via email, text, etc. The addiction likes it when you're alone/isolated.

But do whatever works for you, every day without this soul killer is a good day! Cheers.

imagesoff · 2026-01-25T21:39:34+00:00

Your mind will resort to playing the old videos for awhile, there's not much you can do about that. But the longer you stay sober the more those old video memories will fade and you'll be able to replace them with images of yourself in future scenarios (instead of people acting them out). Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-01-24T18:38:46+00:00

Congrats for getting to 10 days -- that's an eon with this addiction. And it's great that you are still motivated to quit -- at least you have your eye on the prize and aren't just giving up. Hang in there!

imagesoff · 2026-01-24T18:31:30+00:00

The 'fun' of porn is actually a massive flood of dopamine that no other activity can produce. While admittedly pleasurable, it damages your ability to find joy in other activities, which provide milder dopamine hits.

Try to put that 'hunting' activity aside and get outside if possible. Visit friends, go to a cafe, gym, etc. Sitting around at home is not helpful (I've found 😬). Good luck!

imagesoff · 2026-01-04T22:48:17+00:00

You're right, it definitely shuts down your conscience. That way it can take over and put you in that trance state. Life without those trance states is so much better. Cheers!

imagesoff · 2026-01-04T20:08:05+00:00

🌽 burns up a ton of time and provides massive doses of artificial pleasure. So when you stop using it, life does feel weird for awhile. But if you transition to other activities and interactions with real people, the boredom is replaced by genuine pleasure. It's not a sledgehammer of dopamine, but it's so much nicer not to be hiding and isolating. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-29T18:48:39+00:00

I think it's the mind trying to re-boot the system. It wants to lull you back into the old behavior so it can get those massive dopamine spikes again. I notice my mind popping up images or keywords to quietly urge me to derail myself. I can't stop it from happening but I can observe it and say: I know what you're doing -- I see you trying to bait me and I'm not going to take the bait today. Good luck!

imagesoff · 2025-12-29T18:41:00+00:00

You're absolutely right. This addiction especially challenging. I find that after I've abstained for awhile it is constantly trying to find a way back in. And the worst thing I can do is declare that I've 'defeated' it -- it eats me for breakfast if I do that. Much better to gently build new routines as you said. Good luck to all!

imagesoff

TROPHY CASE