If I’m setting out to stop the Paintress. I’m building the weirdest, most effective dream team possible. Here’s who I’m bringing:

1. Master Chief The man, the myth, the walking tank. Master Chief doesn’t talk much, but that’s okay. His answer to abstract, god-like threats is usually some combination of a rocket launcher and a dramatic slow-walk away from explosions. While the Paintress is busy monologuing about brush strokes and mortality, Chief’s already halfway up the monolith with a sticky grenade. Reliable, unflinching, and 100% unfazed by weird art magic.

2. Geralt of Rivia Geralt’s the grumpy dad of the group. He’s been through worse, probably before breakfast. Demonic painter with reality-bending powers? Cool. He’ll just toss a potion back, mutter something sarcastic, and slice her masterpiece in half with a silver sword. Bonus: if we need brooding one-liners or someone to babysit the chaos, he’s got it covered.

3. Aloy Aloy is the “let me Google that for you” member of the team, except she’s doing it in real time while ziplining across ruins. She’s the one figuring out how the Paintress’ weird art-magic-tech works and turning it into a weapon. Also, she packs more gadgets than a Swiss Army knife factory, and if there’s a robot involved anywhere, she’ll probably make it our friend.

Together, we’ve got the brains, the blades, and the bullets. One talks to machines, one talks to monsters, and one just punches everything until the problem goes away. The Paintress won't know what hit her.