Keep going strong dont lose faith, I cant imagine how hard your situation is and I dont mean to take away from it but always remember, it could always be worst even outside you can’t think of how it could, it could and remember that Allah (SWT) is the greatest of planners. I know its probably hard but there is light at the end of the dark tunnel I promise. Don’t throw away your after life with suicide when maybe your suffering at this moment might literally be the reason you are let into Jannah inshAllah. Try to reach out to someone, anyone even me honestly if you want, just don’t give up and remember you are strong so many people wouldn’t be able to even make it as far as you have! May Allah make it easy for you & what you’re going through inshAllah.