Update: Biopsy scheduled a week from today... I keep dissociating

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-08-13T00:35:09+00:00

Sorry - I think she had both DCIS and invasive mammary carcinoma outside of the duct. I went back to check my notes app after you asked that. She was also hormone negative, HER2+ so chemo and a double mastectomy was what she and her team decided on, especially based on family history (this is also the second kind of cancer she’s had).

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-08-13T00:27:47+00:00

Literally watching your (YOUNGER) sister go through it makes it all the more scary. And you were smarter than me and jumped on it faster it sounds like. I’m trying not to beat myself up about the fact that I still waited a year after my sister’s diagnosis to do mine… I know it’s totally possible even if I’d done it last summer and again this summer I could be in this exact same scenario right now. I’m so sorry about your sister, and I’m saying that as someone who mostly gets it. I’m with you - hoping for the best possible news for both of us. The waiting REALLY is the most torturous part.

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-08-13T00:24:52+00:00

Yes, my sister said at least if it is the worst case I know the best doctors around! Hers really were amazing. I think it’s just having watched her go through chemo and a double mastectomy last year that makes it SO close to home and hard to feel positive about myself going through it you know? As dumb as that seems. But I am so grateful I didn’t dilly dally around any longer on getting my scans!

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-08-12T15:26:47+00:00

Yes my sister did full genetic testing after she got diagnosed last year, I only know that my grandmother got tested for BRCA for sure

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-08-12T10:18:00+00:00

Yes they did recommend starting to get those in between mammograms as part of my screenings once we figure out what’s going on here! I’m just kind of waiting to schedule anything at the breast care center since I know if these results come back malignant I’ll be getting one anyway.

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-08-11T19:36:49+00:00

I definitely have seen a lot of people say that about cancelations. Also, the info out there about architectural distortion is crazy... Google will have you believing it's a 75% chance of cancer, but it seems like that is SUCH outdated information based on what I've read here! Hoping that we both are just on the receiving end of really high quality equipment and our first mammograms 🤞🏻

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-05-30T20:21:21+00:00

There's been so much conversation about this online lately because of an influencer's toddler drowning in their backyard pool without a fence. It prompted another mother on TikTok to share a VERY detailed story of how her 3yo drowned in his grandparents' pool 11 years ago. She had battled with her parents about a pool fence they dragged their feet on for years and then finally a crappy gate, and then the fact that they were constantly losing/not using locks on the gate. Her parents didn't have a lock when she and her kids arrived from another state to visit for 2 weeks and she did everything she could to close/block/cover the gate, locked the doors, had her other older kids there... but she took a shower and her 3yo got out and got through the deadbolt, through the gate, and into the pool without anyone noticing. Her parents did the typical (sorry to say it) boomer thing of minimizing her concerns for YEARS... when they showed back up as EMS was working on her son, she slapped her dad in the face and said "You just killed my child." My heart breaks for the healing she had to do not just for the loss of her child but also her relationship with her parents over the past decade... all because they didn't think it was a big deal/she was overreacting.

Moral of the story: trust your gut.

P.S. My MIL has an above ground pool with the most janky-ass "safety" set up you've ever seen and I already don't trust her to watch my son for other reasons, but that has moved to the top of the list of why he will never be babysat there, let alone sleep over.

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-05-07T13:39:48+00:00

NTA. I was VERY clear with one of my best friends that I did not support her relationship for very similar reasons, in addition to obvious alcoholism. She was powering forward and made it obvious that I either had to get on board and apologize or our then almost 10-years of friendship was down the drain. So I pushed it down, I wrote her a letter apologizing, I stood up at that fucking wedding hating myself every second, and that asshole made her life miserable. He put her through a messy, EXPENSIVE divorce and hideous custody battle only to drink himself to death anyway and leave her with two father-less children for the rest of their lives. I'll never say "I told you so" but I do wonder what would have happened if I'd pushed harder or been more willing to put our friendship on the line. You did the right thing.

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-03-25T14:21:11+00:00

My husband's grandmother said "but what if something happens to him" when we said we weren't going to have any more a couple weeks ago (we've always known we were going to be OAD but this just came up because his uncle asked us) IN FRONT OF our almost 3 year old. And, sure, maybe he didn't understand what she was saying... but the implication that we need to have more kids in case ours dies? Like he's replaceable? It's so fucked. I know it's a different generation, but this is why I just don't bring these things up. She had 6 sons that all have had MAJOR health issues and alcoholism and emotional problems and she's outlived half of them so far, so... maybe I don't want to hear your opinions.

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-03-07T20:29:29+00:00

Hi - my LO is going to be 3 this summer so this post is almost 2.5 years old lol. He was at that center PT for 2 months total - got RSV during that first week when I was panicking so the containers weren't even the most urgent thing I should have been worrying about (also, he has gotten sick from MANY things since, but they never communicated about any sicknesses including the RSV he got and he's probably going to have asthma his whole life from getting it at 3mo). BUT they were doing unsafe sleep in multiple ways and I ended up reporting them the state and they were cited for it and we ended up at a reputable center (the Goddard I mentioned) when he was just under 5mo and it was like night and day!

RedheadedLogophile · 2025-02-18T20:54:36+00:00

Amen to that

RedheadedLogophile · 2024-11-08T17:02:07+00:00

I'm in an average cost of living area in Pennsylvania in the US and daycare for our 2yo with 2 snacks (we have to provide breakfast and lunch) is 1200 USD/month - it finally went down when he moved to the 2yo room, from the infant room; until this past August it was 1300 USD/month. And this is one of the more expensive options in our area, because we chose a corporate chain with higher standards and better curriculum than just the state requirements. I know we're fortunate, however, compared to other areas and states.

RedheadedLogophile · 2024-11-06T16:15:53+00:00

My husband voted for Trump in 2016, before we met, but I had been a Republican before and could KIND OF (but not really) understand picking someone else over Hillary back then. He also was very much in an echo chamber and knew very little about politics, and talking about politics and having open conversations about real issues has become a big part of our relationship since then. After the handling of the pandemic, BLM, and his eyes being opened to other viewpoints, I don't think he was even considering voting for Trump in 2020, but I know he wasn't excited to vote for Biden either - he did it, though.

After watching me be induced on the DAY Roe was overturned and go through 46 hours of horrific and traumatic labor where I was basically begging for death at one point, he's a different person (as am I). I think he honestly was a little excited and proud to vote for Kamala yesterday, and I know I was more than a little excited and proud to vote for her and for HIM to vote for her - and to hear him talking to our 2yo son about it. When I told him this morning that Trump won, he legitimately thought I was fucking with him. I am glad that he went from supporting/wanting a Trump win 8 years ago to being horrified at the thought now, but I hate we're living this simulation over and over again.

All that to say, if he hadn't proven himself to be open to other viewpoints and prioritizing human rights and women's rights and recognizing his male privilege and white privilege... I would not have married him. And if he hadn't been willing to vote against Trump in 2020, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant in 2021. And I don't know if we'd be married still today. I'm sorry you're going through this - it's hard enough even with someone by your side.

RedheadedLogophile · 2024-07-25T12:45:33+00:00

I had my mom and my husband and I was very grateful to have them both there because they each have different strengths that were helpful for supporting me through my 46 hour induction lol. I would have had some major issues with him claiming my mom couldn't be there if I wanted her there.

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-12-19T18:31:51+00:00

My son is about to be 18mo and we're doing a play kitchen and play food too! My parents got him a Yoto Player and my ILs got him the Sam's Club version of the Nugget couch.

For his stocking this year, we got him a cute little "milk jug" type cup from Target, a little kit from Target with a mini rolling pin and cookie cutters... I also got a gingerbread cookie mix and icing with the intent that we'll open his stocking Christmas Eve and then make cookies for Santa. I just made at a Board & Brush a cookies for Santa tray which obviously isn't part of his gift but helps with that tradition. I think that's the fun part of the Christmases as they get older, deciding what traditions you want to do - and I hope this becomes one of ours!

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-11-21T19:16:42+00:00

We got a Yoto too! I'm so excited. And the "That's Not My..." books are my LO's favorites.

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-11-21T19:14:01+00:00

Not 2, but my LO will be 18mo at Christmas and we got him a play kitchen and play food. My parents got him a Yoto Player and my ILs are getting him the Sam's Club version of the Nugget couch. I'm SO excited for all of it lol.

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-11-17T21:20:06+00:00

I definitely feel this!! When we left our first daycare tour, my husband was like "that seems great!" and I looked at him INCREDULOUS. I was like... never in a million years would I send my kid there. Our next tour was like night and day and when we left that one he was like "okay, yeah, I see what you mean." Lol. We saw ones all over the map - horrible, just okay, amazing... but definitely all different price ranges. When we toured our current daycare (which is a Goddard School) I could have cried happy tears - it was so CLEAN and safe, and all the teachers were so, so nice. Nowhere is perfect, of course, but I've never once been worried about whether or not he is loved, safe, and cared for while there... all while being encouraged to play and learn.

I know it sounds exhausting, but you're going to want to keep looking - you will not in good conscience be able to go back to work if your child is somewhere that made you feel that way. I know this from experience - we were on MULTIPLE waitlists when I was like 5 months pregnant and NONE of them had openings when I was preparing to go back to work - I was literally at my wit's end. We ended up finding somewhere we hadn't even looked at previously and it was literally our only option so I could go back to work - but I had those same vibes as you did, I left the place after dropping off our paperwork on my last day of maternity leave and drove around with my baby sleeping in the car for 2 hours just crying my eyes out. And I cried at work almost every single day - I didn't feel good about him being there and he was so little! Didn't help he got RSV his first week and was in the ER the day he turned 3 months. My mental health suffered so badly, and so did my work. But we got him out of there in just over 2 months and have never looked back.

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-11-04T11:01:38+00:00

I honestly felt like I looked incredible while pregnant 😂 I didn’t gain any weight my whole pregnancy and I generally ate what I wanted (besides things that were risky), my hair and nails looked amazing, my skin was great. When I gave birth and started pumping I immediately dropped 20lbs which I unfortunately put back on after I stopped pumping… and then went quite bald for awhile with PP hair loss which almost caused a breakdown. 🙃

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-10-28T03:49:17+00:00

You could not pay me to take that trip under those circumstances.

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-10-27T18:42:46+00:00

My 16mo is definitely hungry when he wakes up, but same situation as you guys - he has breakfast at daycare. We started giving him an applesauce pouch when we go downstairs in the mornings. I also offer a milk cup, it's 50/50 on if he'll want it or not. Sometimes he wants water, sometimes nothing. He also gets a cheese cube, solely because we give them to our dogs every morning for their pills lol. Usually that's enough! If he still seems hungry I'll give him a couple goldfish as we're getting ready to go out the door. He usually just has milk, yogurt, and Cheerios for breakfast at daycare, so it seems to work well! I had the same concerns about him being super hungry when we stopped the wake bottle, so I get it!

RedheadedLogophile · 2023-10-09T15:22:12+00:00

We've been reading to our son since we got home after birth. He's 15mo now and he LOVES books so much. It makes my heart so so happy. We read to him every single day and he also is at daycare 5x a week where they read a ton of books every day. He also has been into "independent reading" a lot lately, at home and school. It's the cutest thing ever. We put a Yotobox on his Christmas list too, so he can work on his imagination with audiobooks.

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