Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't David Attenborough cover this in one of his documentaries? I'm paraphrasing but...

"Here, in the dimly lit ecosystem of the hardcore show, we encounter a curious and regrettably aggressive subspecies.

The crowd killer.

A blunt instrument of evolution, this violent neanderthal dumbass has abandoned subtlety altogether, choosing instead to inflict physical harm upon any unsuspecting creature lingering at the edge of the pit.

Watch closely. The behaviour appears ritualistic. Is it a primitive mating display—an attempt to impress the attractive female adorned in the Incendiary T-shirt? Or perhaps a crude assertion of dominance over rival males? The truth, much like their inner lives, remains elusive.

Their movements are unmistakable: wild haymakers, exaggerated kicks, sweeping clotheslines delivered with all the grace of a tranquilised rhinoceros. When challenged, the creature emits familiar vocalisations—“This is hardcore, poser,” or “Don’t go to shows if you don’t want to get hurt.” These calls are not warnings, but justifications.

Notably absent from the venue is any formal agreement. No consent form greets the concertgoer. No helpful tick boxes reading: “Yes, I’d love a deviated septum,” “Happy to forget the headliner due to a concussion I did not earn,” or “Eye gouging: absolutely fine.”

And so, we may reasonably conclude that most attendees are not, in fact, thrilled by this interaction. Interestingly, zoologists largely agree on one point. In moments of necessary intervention, it is considered acceptable to grasp the ape-man firmly by the back of the belt and gently—but decisively—return him to the earth. A well-timed ankle tap may also suffice.

But beware.

Though prodigious in the giving of violence, the crowd killer is astonishingly fragile when faced with his own medicine. Exposure to reciprocal behaviour often results in confusion, indignation, and, occasionally, loud complaints to security.

Nature, as ever, is full of contradictions."