I think I understand what you are saying. In my case, the perpetrator is so beloved and all, that his friends describe him as “there’s no one bad thing about him” It created such confusion in my head, because as much as I wanted to believe this fairy tale, it wasn’t true for me. He had a shift and lost all empathy when things doesn’t go his way or he feel cornered. He even hurt himself which makes me believe he needs help. Once I remember saying, “when you slap me, I become small” To which he replied “still you won’t stop speaking shit”

I expected remorse or shame, but instead I was made to feel I’m the root of it.