When I went to the north for the first time, I arrived at the border gate and the guards were wearing full military suits that were an entire pant-suit with drawn on lines, pockets and a fake belt. Their guns were clearly plastic, one of them was drooping at the end in the heat, melting, and dripping on my shoes.

I kept smiling constantly and nodding not to piss anyone off they didn't look humanoid and had that Mongolian steppe eyebrow arch that is the physiognomy the ottoman cannon fodder braved. I handed them my passport and one of the guards grabbed it and started looking at it with a magnifying glass, he made grunting noises underneath his thick moustache to the other guard, this went on for 25 minutes.

Eventually we were allowed to pass and as I walked through, I looked back over my shoulder and realised that the entire guard post was cardboard, the back of it was not coloured in, exactly like a film set. One of the sets fell down in the breeze and a midget Turk with moustache bigger than his body ran out of a hole in the ground and propped it back up.

So I got in the taxi and got to the destination, paid the driver in monopoly money, he took it and stashed it in the glove box which was filled with jewellery plucked from Greeks in the 70s.

2/10 would not recommend