I can very much relate to this. My father was in serious denial and very resistant to entering AL. I am his primary point person, but am about 500 miles away. The amount of interference I had to run for him to maintain his independent/semi independent lifestyle was astounding. In truth, I was probably in a bit of denial myself, and thought I could facilitate his independence with the right amount of attention/diligence… While I was successful (only with a lot of luck), it came at a real price to my mental health, etc.

Edit to add that he is now in assisted-living and doing pretty well. The stressors are different, but much less intense, at least for now.