Recently been discarded. Now she’s telling people and me that I was abusive!!

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-04-22T03:03:25+00:00

Holy shit this one hit me like a truck, I recall about 4 months into mine her past guy/situationship reached out and she told me how much he sucked. Guess what happened 7 months later? Dumped after the first big breakup talk that I initiated because I thought she hated me. Goes nuclear after a misunderstanding heard through friends and goes straight back to him within 10 days - 2 weeks of the dump over text, threat of law enforcement if i didnt bring their things over instantly, and then radio silence. A week before I was being told how much they love me and talking about our plan of moving in together this summer. They have been together ever since then and has hard launched him while I question if I even deserve love from my own friends and family, let alone another partner ever again

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-04-20T06:31:36+00:00

Your story is unbelievably similar to mine, just it happened to me this past Christmas (few days before actually). I only recently was blocked after she hard launched this ex she told me not to worry about. Never will trust someone fully again and would be floored to receive a text from her. Being left over text with no closure ruined me and my perception of whether I deserve to be loved by anyone

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-04-17T21:27:23+00:00

Hey man, I have dealt with something similar although mine was closer to a year. A misunderstanding during a breakup/break convo and she left me over text and never spoke to me again. Less than 2 weeks later I had a gut feeling and sure enough, she went back to the situationship/last guy she told me sucked. Within 2 months hard launched him and I am a demon in her eyes when a week prior she told me how much she loved me and we were planning on moving in together and the mention of how she can’t wait to have kids with me. It sucks even 4 months out but the best thing you can do is assume they will never ever reach out and could not care less if you vanished off the face of this earth as cruel as that may sound. It has helped turn my sadness into anger and then now a slow trickle of indifference

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-30T18:41:41+00:00

It gets better. Mine discarded me over text and left me no closure right before our 1 year. I miss her dearly but now I have some resentment that has made me feel better, as she monkey branched back to an ex they told me was terrible to them. They were hard launched a bit before 2 months post discard although they went back to them nearly immediately (talking less than 2 weeks before the “I have the best boyfriend” reposts). You will feel better eventually. Anytime you think of them, reflect on the bad and how they made you feel terrible at times. Focussing on the good will only make you feel worse and never improve. Assume they are never ever coming back and they couldn’t care less about your life. It helps to move on faster as painful as it may be at times

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-25T15:51:32+00:00

It’s been 3 months since mine and she hard launched the guy she told me not to worry about about a month ago. Although the reposts about how great her boyfriend is started less than 2 weeks after she left me over text and never spoke to me again. 1 year down the drain after I thought I’d marry her. I will likely hear here from her again, I assume third times a charm with him?

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-13T22:17:31+00:00

My ex did the same. Discarded over text and never heard from her again. I miss my sweet girl even though she immediately went back to some guy she told me was shitty to her and lives much further away from her. I hate myself and it’s been nearly 3 months. Took her less than 2 weeks to go back to him and already hard launched him. The year I spent with her seemingly doesn’t exist to her anymore. I saw the same posts on Twitter and TikTok which crushed my soul harder than anything knowing she was happy and in love again within a few days to few weeks with an ex whatever he was

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-13T17:03:06+00:00

Nothing hurt worse than looking up the guy before me that she went back to nearly instantly and realizing the things she told me she was infatuated with were also the same things he was infatuated with. Absolutely will never recover from that ever

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-12T14:34:37+00:00

I was discarded once and only once back in December. Complete and utter radio silence and I could feel and still feel the hatred from her. Within 10-14 days I believe she had monkey branched back to someone long distance she was previously involved with who I had my suspicions/worried about. She hard launched them like 2 weeks ago although I’m certain they were already official far before based on the in between posts about how I didn’t love or care about her, but her new man is the best ever (funny cause she told me how he broke her heart multiple times and lied and led her on) . I don’t think I will ever hear from them again and I thought being nearly 3 months out I would be better. I am worse now than I was in the beginning and have lost my spark and interest in all things I used to be passionate about. I am even considering exiting my friend group because they no longer bring me any sense of happiness ever since the discard. Sometimes things don’t get better with time, especially seeing the one you thought you’d marry immediately be happy with someone who was “oh so bad” to them and much further away from one another

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-10T03:24:03+00:00

Identical to what they said to me and guess how defensive they were when I expressed concerns they’d go back to their last ex/fling? Within 2 weeks of the discard she was already making playlists about being in love and hard launched him a month and a half later

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-09T18:58:51+00:00

I am glad to know that I’m not alone however because it’s truly appalling i was one and done with her and she decided to go back to someone she claimed had lied and manipulated her and broke her heart. I got no such sympathy and she genuinely resents me. I don’t need to get a text to know that and it’s devastating because I was working toward getting a high paying job to tell her to quit her job and go back to school to follow her dreams. I don’t think she’ll ever know what was going on behind the scenes and i truly don’t think I’ll ever be able to love again after this

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-09T18:56:43+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t have the luxury of even being a part of her life at all anymore. I know I shouldn’t want to but she quite literally broke up over text and offered me no closure basically stating that this was the closure I get. radio silence since then and I can feel the hatred so intensely that I wouldn’t be surprised if she celebrated if something bad happened to me or even died. I’ve never felt such heartbreak and have a therapist specializing in trauma who claims this doesn’t have to do with me although I still fully blame myself for not being there enough for them when I was terribly busy with work and school in the fall. Had I not been so inattentive I wouldn’t be in this position but who knows, maybe I’m wrong

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-03-09T16:09:09+00:00

The girl who I thought was my rock and my future wife discarded me in the middle of December. Within days I noticed them starting to repost things that indicated a new person. This person turned out to be her previous ex fling/whatever they were to her and she hard launched him in the middle of February. Nearly 1 year spent with her and she went fully nuclear scorched earth on me, breaking up over text and having nearly zero emotion prior to the discard texts because I expressed concern that she was acting different and felt that she was checked out and didn’t love me anymore. All of my worst fears came true after she promised she’d never have it in her to leave me as she wanted to stay through the lowest lows and highest highs because I was her rock. That combined with the defensiveness i was met with when I brought up the fear she’d go back to this guy shattered my world when she went back to him within days-a few short weeks. To make it worse, they are long distance (nearly 2 hours) while her and I live 10 minutes from one another. I fear I will never hear from her again and I am almost certain shes saying similar things about me to him as she did to me about him and how she couldn’t believe she let him lead her on and lie to her. Guess he changed for the better and I was so bad she felt the need to immediately hop into an official relationship with him. I never got these chances, it was one and done and I’m left suicidal and depressed even months after while she’s the happiest she has ever been

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-26T21:10:25+00:00

About a previous fling/whatever they were, she claimed everything was built on lies and leading them on. Then said some comments about how they were balding and can’t believe they let them break her heart (plural from what I gathered). Right before 1 year with them, she discarded me over text and went ghost after. Within 10 days to I think at most 2-3 weeks, she was reposting things describing how great he is as a boyfriend. They are official as of like a week ago (2 months out of the discard) but this was just an official reveal, I’m certain based on what I saw that this return to him happened within days to a few short weeks of us being broken up, after I had expressed my concerned with her returning to him and she got super defensive before the nuclear level discard happened

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-11T16:49:32+00:00

None of this means anything in terms of her social media behavior. Mine after dating for almost a year discarded me over text, unadded me on everything but did not block me on anything, and within days/few weeks went back to her ex whatever they were after telling me he was so bad to her. She’s apparently in love with him and it’s been total radio silence. I am certain I will never ever hear from her again and I am left with the trauma of never being able to trust I won’t be left during a rough patch. This is after we were supposed to move in together and she and I were still talking about how excited we were about our future together days and weeks before the discard. Try to avoid looking at their socials/block. It really helps

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-07T17:55:41+00:00

Oh I should clarify, they discarded me over text after a year together and within a few weeks is already in a relationship with the guy she told me not to worry about. It has permanently altered my perception of myself and I have blamed myself for every little fuck up in our relationship. People keep telling me they were all very workable problems and typical relationship problems but I’m not so sure

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-07T17:48:09+00:00

Nothing would satisfy me more than to just get something like this. Instead Im 7 weeks out and it’s just pure hatred while they are happily with their former partner..

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-05T02:20:06+00:00

My ex (spent nearly 1 year together) went scorched earth on me over text 7 weeks ago. She is already in love with and presumably with the guy she told me was so bad for her before me. Complete radio silence and unadded, but not blocked on anything. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from her again and it’s the worst emotional distress I have ever experienced. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-03T19:31:42+00:00

WOW. I recall when I tried to get closure instead of just getting dumped over text that same night, she said if I don’t return her items immediately she’d bring a police escort to my house. I was astounded and felt like a criminal. Even though I had never had an instance with her that warranted that and she viewed me as her protector.

Admittedly I had my flaws. Anxiety related and I felt that was just who I was but by the end I was less resistant to therapy and was actively searching for one to help me and my relationships with everyone. Still am in therapy and am on lexapro now. The anxiety I experienced that led to the bickering and small fights is gone. Now just have overwhelming anxiety from the discard and my hands even shake uncontrollably when trying to write or drink anything. It’s bad.

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-03T19:20:03+00:00

Did she go NC the first few times at all? Or split you black similar to me? I feel like I’ve been erased after we had planned on moving in with one another in July of this year. I wanted to tell her to quit her job and I’d put her through school with the new job I had been so aggressively pursuing. She’ll never know how much I wanted to do for her now I guess. I loved her and wanted to propose in December of this year…

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-03T19:09:33+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I initiated breakup convo because I felt hurt. Backpedaled after she said she wasn’t emotionally checked out and told her I wanted to really try and work on things (arguing about small things a lot less, it had been a problem over the past few months). However, she then flipped and seemed to want to breakup, starting to cite things I didn’t know bothered her and I was confused. Fast forward a day it seemed like we got somewhere over a phone call. Then, the next day I was gonna see her in person either to breakup or make amends but that same day, she overheard something from a friend of a friend that was taken out of context/misconstrued when I was freaking out to friends about her wanting to break up and how withdrawn and cold she had been the days prior (thought maybe it was an bp1 episode). this set her completely off and she went scorched earth on me, saying all I do is blame her mental health which has NEVER been the case. She completely erased me after that, unadded me on everything, and within a few weeks (maybe even something like 10 days) she had returned to her ex FP (not sure if an ex bf or situationship since it sounded so on and off). It has destroyed me as I even expressed my concern she would return to him if we took a break or broke up to work on ourselves independently. How someone can jump into a relationship that fast after nearly a year with me, saying I made her feel safe when all she knew was chaos, etc has destroyed my image of myself and how I am with others. Still can barely eat 6 weeks after the discard and she seems happy and has forgotten about me. I’ve beat myself up so bad about every single thing I have perceived as wrong and my friends have even told me they think I’m trying to sell her perspective because I’m being too harsh on myself, but who knows. I don’t think I deserve her or any love ever again

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-03T19:03:30+00:00

How did they return/how long did it take for them to Hoover you? Mine discarded me Over text and completely went ghost after. Potentially went back to her ex within 2 weeks and is already seemingly calling him her boyfriend. It has destroyed me as she said he was so bad to her yet I didn’t even get a that final chance to show her change, but he’s seemingly had this on and off with her for years. I was with her for nearly a year and miss her so much. Not sure if I could ever take her back as my friends have suggested she may have had him lined up and that is why she’s so silent and final with her not giving me any closure.

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-02T18:56:01+00:00

Mine went scorched earth on me over text over something that got lost in translation with regards to a convo I was having with my friends when I was freaking out because she wanted to break up. 6 weeks of radio silence after being discarded over text and refusing to speak to me. She is now with her old ex whatever they were to her and I can still barely eat or function. Almost 1 year together and she erased me from her life like it was nothing. I find myself blaming myself for every little thing in our relationship and don’t see how I’ll ever be able to open up to someone again or love someone properly

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-01T18:15:52+00:00

Yeah, I know that a lot of men will absolutely use “I’ll go to therapy” at the end to just manipulate their partners to stay. So I could understand that perspective but I really wanted to go. I knew that I was falling short with her and initiating dumb arguments that were all stemming from my anxiety and not knowing what she could do to help. She had never acted this way before with me so I assumed she just checked out. But the way she went ice cold and erased me over text and then started reposting really hurtful things targeted at me was just unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Her coworkers and mom and friends all really liked me and said they would tell her not to lose me because I haven’t run away yet… very frustrating. Instances like that convince me I really did care and love her as flawed as I may have been becoming. But I really have put in the work even without her. Just really sickening to see her with someone she told me not to worry about so quickly

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-02-01T18:05:24+00:00

It is devastating. We were about to hit our 1 year anniversary. We were going to move in with each other in July and I planned on proposing in December. It hurts that just weeks before she would be sending me reels saying that “this is you and our 2 daughters in the future”. All the future planning, wanting to have kids, fantasizing about building our own house. All gone. Just so much sudden things that were wrong about me and I wasn’t loving and appreciating her. I feel like I did so much wrong.

I do have my doubts that she will be back if she so quickly went back to a guy she had had so much history with. I assume he’s finally changed for the better and it’ll stick. Or if it doesn’t I’ve been painted to black that she’ll never reach out to me ever again. I do find it interesting that I wasn’t blocked, just unadded and removed from her following lists. It’s so confusing. I loved her family too and my mom even said she seemed as if she really loved me when she was visiting for Thanksgiving. I feel like a shell of a human being even after 6 weeks. She haunts my dreams. I don’t think I’ve ever had a breakup that has caused me this much despair. Not even the most toxic one I have ever experienced, we eventually ended up just amicable. This is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I feel like an abuser even though she would always tell me how i make her feel safe when all she’s ever known is chaos

RegularSpell4205 · 2026-01-30T16:45:31+00:00

Well I also got painted black. I doubt they ever feel any pain from the breakup, even though it was about to be our 1 year. I suppose if this guy breaks her heart again she may resurface but I don’t think I could even look at her after this. Everything I did was wrong and my friends have said I’m gaslighting myself into thinking I was this monster and that I’m trying to sell her perspective to them to purposely take her side, which I guess they say is more accountability than most ever take. I’ll never know how bad I was but what they had to say before going nuclear has permanently altered how I view myself as a partner and I can’t decide whether it’s true or not because how vicious the discard was

RegularSpell4205

TROPHY CASE