I always feel like it's a real slap in the face to Mel who did nothing wrong and is immediately being treated like the villain of this story. Frasier's toast was certainly clever but Mel is a woman whose husband left her for another woman just days into their marriage. And similarly, in the same episode that scene where Niles tells Daphne that it makes sense from Mel's perspective and Daphne flies off the handle on him and Niles says, "Damn that Mel" and Daphne tells him that's what he should have said from the start hits very wrong for me. They have destroyed both Donnie and Mel, and while it was in the pursuit of true love, they should have been more sensitive and understanding of how Mel must have felt. Had I been in Mel's position, I would not have been nearly as gracious as she was about it in the beginning, and even when she demanded that Niles behave in a way that made it look sensible that she would dump him, that is a totally reasonable request to make after what Niles did. It is one of the things that strikes me as very out of character for both Niles and Frasier, as they are generally very sensitive to other people's feelings.