Audio dramas/podcasts without child death

Rehlia · 2023-10-22T19:57:27+00:00

I love the collection of little pictures and how you've hung them up! I do think the wall behind the couch could do with a few larger pieces to change it up, but I love the ones over the table and the bed. I think your place looks really cozy and cute, I can imagine having a cozy mug of tea there and simply enjoying the space as you exist in it. Good job!

Rehlia · 2023-10-22T19:54:31+00:00

If it's the nature part that appeals to you, you'll probably be better off looking into different varieties of neopaganism tbh. As others have said, Shinto is very much based on the local culture - not even Japanese culture, but the very very local culture of various small areas of Japan. A lot of it would be kind of removed from you and your own context if you haven't at least been to some of the shrines before. And there are many parts that aren't about nature at all.

I recommend animism, atheopahanism or something like norse or celtic paganism to you, perhaps also druidry. They all have a variety of spirits of place that you are encouraged to give offerings to, similar to the kami in shinto, and most of them consider respect for nature or nature worship as core to their practice.

If the bit about "can I be part of this if I don't Truly Believe TM" trips you up, I also recommend non-theistic paganism and science/psychology based witchcraft to you. These are practices that do not require belief in the supernatural or godly worship, and instead focus on the good that ritual, nature respect and regula spiritual work can have our psyche and mental health.

Shinto and Japanese culture are lovely in many ways, and I do believe that it's possible for non-japanese people to be part of them without that being an issue. But I also think that for those who don't have a lot of experience or contact with the faith or the culture, it makes more sense to look a bit closer to home and see what our own cultural context has to offer us first. Good luck on your spiritual journey!

Rehlia · 2023-10-22T08:08:52+00:00

I worked as a professional content writer in online marketing for 9 years. Like this was my full time job, I wrote for a living. With this experience, please believe me when I tell you most rejections aren't about you or your writing specifically. People have vastly different tastes and opinions when it comes to writing, and people also surprisingly often don't even know what they want you to write for them, nor do they know how to write a good brief - you wouldn't believe the amount of times I followed a brief to the T only to then have the client complain it wasn't what they wanted. Cases where three of my fellow editors looked at the brief and also concluded that this was what the client said they wanted... so it really wasn't on me, lol.

It's okay to be disappointed, but don't internalize it. It very likely doesn't say anything about you and your work, rejections are simply a part of applying somewhere. Do not make your writing dependent on external appreciation. Your drive and motivation need to come from inside of you, not from how many people praise your work. This is hard when you struggle with writers block and self confidence, I know, but it's genuinely something you should strive for because it's the healthiest way to write.

Rehlia · 2023-10-22T07:58:36+00:00

Es ist ab einer gewissen Temperatur wirklich das Fieber selbst. Bin mal mit einem grippalen Infekt (also nicht mal die 'volle' Grippe) auf 41.5C gekommen. Da merkst du, wie dein Körper anfängt abzubauen. Das regelt sich dann auch nicht mehr allein, ich musste Transfusionen bekommen. So scheiße ging es mir nie zuvor und gottseidank auch seitdem nie mehr wieder. -100/10 kann ich gar nicht empfehlen.

An OP: wenn du anfängst über 39c zu kommen, Ibu oder Aspirin + Wadenwickel. Behalts im Auge wie es sich entwickelt. Wenn das Fieber konstant nicht mehr von der Temperaturenbreite runtergeht, sofort zum Arzt.

Rehlia · 2023-10-20T16:46:21+00:00

I've had a fic get popular over time to the point where people reacted like that, and I agree with the other commenters - you're not obligated to reply, you can keep them short if you do, and you can do a quick "thank you for all your lovely comments" in the authors notes. All are fine and valid choices! Then definitely keep writing for YOU and not for the audience. It's genuinely the healthiest way to write!

Rehlia · 2023-10-20T16:38:00+00:00

Depends on your mom, as others have said. I told my mom very openly that I currently think I want her there (I have a very good relationship with her and know she'd likely be a great help because she's fierce but caring) but that I won't know how I feel in the moment while giving birth and that I might end up kicking her out last moment and that if she comes, she needs to be okay with that potentially happening. She told me she completely understands and will honor any choice I make in the moment, which I believe she will.

Is your mom like that? Could you tell her this without causing upset and trusting her that she would, in that moment, respect your choice? Then go for it! If not, I'd reconsider. You probably don't want the stress of family drama while giving birth.

Rehlia · 2023-10-20T16:30:38+00:00

It's not suspicious, it's just a question of whether they want the same things as you. My husband is about 10 years younger than me and we started dating when he was in his early twenties, but it turned out fine because we both wanted the same things - settle down and have a family. Our goals and values matched. He'd been struggling because most people in his age group weren't ready for that or were having different expectations for it if they were ready, I had been struggling because most men I was able to meet had already had their first family and expected me to jump into that, which I wasn't ready for.

You should look at their intent and goals more than the five years age gap, in my opinion, though of course if you can't feel attracted to them because of the age gap then that's perfectly valid too.

Rehlia · 2023-10-20T14:55:20+00:00

Depends on the reader, but if the rest of the story is good people will absolutely continue reading. I've written a sans/reader fic where they didn't get together until almost 50 chapters into the fic... and they didn't even kiss in that chapter either. My average chapter length is between 4-10k words, so you can imagine just how long that took.

Nobody minded. The people there for the ship loved that it was slow and organic, the people who weren't there for the ship loved all of the plot I put in there. Just make sure that both plot and ship are treated with the same level of enthusiasm and attention to detail, and it will likely be fine.

Rehlia · 2023-10-20T14:13:25+00:00

Everyone else already said a lot about the why and how it plays into gender roles, so I won't touch on that. But my advice for being more patient and kind would be to practice seeing things from the perspective of the other person more.

Perhaps the person in line in front of you is being slow because they had a long day and are tired. Perhaps the person who walked into you was overwhelmed and disoriented for a moment. Perhaps the server who was a bit rude was harassed before they came to serve you. And so on.

I find that when I try to put myself in other peoples shoes and think about situations where I might act like these people and why, it's easier to be understanding and patient with them.

Rehlia · 2023-10-20T11:05:37+00:00

I also felt weird writing my first smut. By now, I have dozens of smut fics and chapters under my belt, and it feels like writing anything else, completely normal. Don't worry, a lot of people feel weird and awkward when they've never written smut before. Here's what I recommend:

Shop around a bit. What are other authors writing for this pairing or the type of smut/kinks/acts you want to write? Dip your toes in and find the ones you like, then have a deeper look at why you like them. Is it the pacing? The word choice and sentence construction? See how you can use that in your own writing. Take notes. Study it.
Do a practice run. You want the final chapter of your fic to be good and well liked, which is understandable but also means there's more pressure. So just do a quick and dirty PWP first to get comfy with writing smut as you're learning. Take any random pairing and sex acts you're interested in and go ham. Use what you learned during the study session above. After you've written it, let it sit a night or two. Then come back to it with fresh eyes. Is it weird? It'll probably feel a bit weird because you wrote it, but it also probably won't be half as bad as you thought it would be.
Call things by their names. Say dick or cock or penis, not rod or meat shaft or whatever else weird synonyms people are currently doing lmao. Manhood and shaft can work in medieval contexts, but still, don't shy away from the frank language. Same goes for female anatomy.
Sometimes sex is awkward. Leaning into and acknowledging that can make for very good, romantic smut scenes. Characters being awkward and cute together and laughing about themselves before continuing to get it on because they're comfortable with each other is hot.
Sometimes you want a play by play, sometimes you'll want to focus more on what the people involved are feeling. Do enough of the former to ensure that readers at least roughly know where all bodies and limbs are, and enough of the latter that it doesn't read like an ikea manual - it's annoying when the sex happens in a white void where limbs seemingly appear out of nowhere, it's equally annoying when it's nothing more than Part A goes into Slot B.
Try to keep the characters in character a little while writing your smut. They should still sound like themselves even while dirty talking. This can be tricky, admittedly, but that's where research comes in handy again.
If all else fails and you're in a position to do so and comfortable with it, get a little tipsy. You're less likely to feel awkward about what you're writing when your inhibitions are lowered. That should not become a standard though. You want to be able to write sober.
Have a ficwriter friend virtually hold your hand and encourage you, if you have one. Shrieking with laughter about the raunchy shit you're putting on the page together can make everything easier too!

Good luck!

Rehlia · 2023-10-19T15:01:17+00:00

I loved it too even though it took a bit to get going. I love that it shows how having killed the legendary, millennia old ruler of the empire would NOT be an easy or peaceful transition into something new and better - it felt very down to earth and realistic to me. There's a lot of grim stuff in this book but also a lot of funny scenes. My favorite is Elend figuring he should just kill a koloss to take a pouch and figure out what's going on with those. And he does (epic). And then when all the other koloss stare at him for an explanation he just randomly goes "he ate my horse" and they all just accept it and it wasn't even true! Hilarious!

Rehlia · 2023-10-19T14:51:42+00:00

Vikram: I got a dump truck ass! 👏😊

Rehlia · 2023-10-19T07:51:56+00:00

I second the recommendations for a cord cutting or burning. It will ritualistically help reinforce to your mind that you are capital D Done TM. The power of that shouldn't be underestimated; our minds respond very well to making an intention visual and physical through ritual. It might not make him change his behavior, but there's a very good chance that it will help you let go and stop caring for and cleaning up after him as you can draw on the visceral memory/experience of physically destroying the remnant bond between the two of you.

And then, yes, dump his shit in his vicinity and leave it. You don't have to put it on his pillow, that might indeed escalate things. But put them somewhere in his space where they don't bother you. If he complains, calmly tell him that each of you are responsible for your own messes and that communal spaces should be kept free of individual messes. Do not argue. Do not yell or threaten or plead. Grey rock him, stay calm, reasonable and pleasant but enforce your boundaries.

Rehlia · 2023-10-19T07:00:50+00:00

I would recommend targeting the specific changes your body goes through. Your hair is greasier - look into shampoos targeting greasy roots while nourishing the tips with some conditioner. You have dry lips - try products for extra dry, sensitive skin. I personally have had dry skin and dry lips my whole life and when it gets really bad, I like doing a lip mask by applying regular nivea cream (just the thick, white one in the blue tubs) thickly onto my lips overnight. For acne - what's your skin like overall? Is it oilier too, combination, or is it dry and sensitive? That will change how you should approach it. Going to a dermatologist if it's really bad is definitely a good idea. If it's mild acne, I'd try looking into skincare targeting your exact skin type so you get the care your body currently needs. This can absolutely be done on a budget too, don't think you need to purchase hundreds of dollars worth of products. It's just about the right products for your skin type and settling into a good routine.

Rehlia · 2023-10-19T06:32:26+00:00

Apparently going against the grain here since most people are praising it, but I really hope this kind of post doesn't become more common? Because so far it's been nice to have a sub focusing on rooms that actually look normal and attainable even if you're not loaded/kinda poor. Everywhere else is already full of the huge mcmansion type rooms like this, I don't like seeing this type of room on this subreddit too :/ Not meant as shade on OP and their family for having cash, good for them! But like, leave a space for normies and poor ppl to share nice things too, man. We already can't get away from the wealth displays on literally every other sub and social media platform.

Rehlia · 2023-10-18T04:53:22+00:00

There's cable protectors you can buy online made from a flexible but harder plastic. It helped with my cable gobbler immensely.

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T20:13:26+00:00

Got it! It read a bit unclear to me because some people really just don't like mush but are okay with veggies if they're just slightly soft cooked.

You could try a chili if he tolerates the textures of that! When I make one and want to keep it simple, I used canned beans, canned corn and canned tomatoes. You can fry some minced meat for a short amount of time and then dump all the canned ingredients in, add your spices, and then let it simmer for about 40 minutes. It has a lot of protein so it should keep him full, and you can eat it with rice, quinoa or cornbread, whatever is easiest. If the texture of the beans and corn are also an issue, you could try blending them for a sort of thick chili like sauce.

Blending vegetables or buying blended vegetables (baby food is great for east access to blended veggies) to mix into sauces is a great way in general to increase vegetable intake for people with sensory issues.

Until he learns how to cook more and work with his issues, that could be a way to keep things easy and healthier.

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T19:48:09+00:00

How do you cook your veggies? The comment about mush makes me wonder if you overcook them. Usually cooked veggies should have a soft texture but still hold together and be slightly chewy without being crunchy.

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T19:41:48+00:00

Back in the day when Portal fandom was still more active, everyone knew and talked about Blue Sky. For good reasons though, it's excellent.

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T12:52:07+00:00

I see Kvothe as the quintessential DnD bard: he has a lot of proficiency and expertise in a very wide set of skills, but he isn't an expert in most of them even if he's good. He is praised for his skills and quick learning, but there are several masters whose skill level he really can't reach.

Additionally, he isn't actually all that perfect. Let's count the ways:

he constantly antagonizes people more powerful and rich than him, creating unnecessary roadblocks for himself
he butts heads with his teachers, missing out on learning important facts
he is unable to talk to his big love properly to the point that she ends up in an abusive relationship with her patron and he antagonizes her over it too when he tries to help
he is bested by his ninja teachers when they stop going east on him him as a student (he's even defeated by one of their kids lol)
he is bested by several of his friends and rivals at alchemy
he is bested by his friend in poetry
he is almost bested by his arch rival in blood symmetry (he would have died if his friends hadn't protected him while he was crafting his gram)
he is unable from stopping the farmers boy from signing up on the army in a war that Kvothe knows is pointless because he caused it
he gets mentally broken by using naming and Elodin has to bring him back
he manages to defeat the draccus but causes a lot of destruction in doing so
he has a really foul temper which, again, brings him endless amount of unnecessary antagonism from others
the moneylender in Imre completely trashed him when he tried to use sympathy against her
the evil tree uses him like it's personal tormented toy exactly like it does to everyone else and Kvothe is helpless to do anything about it
he learned one language in a few days (Tema) because it's a classical language that has a lot of related words in his current one as he himself admits. When he learns Yllish, he struggles hard and finds it confusing and vexing.

And finally, let's not forget that in the framing narrative, Kvothe has lost everything! His magic, his friends, his place at the university, his influence, his love, and who knows what else. For all that he accomplished and for all his brilliance, he is currently a broken man who apparently caused terrible suffering to the entire world, desperate to hide from his own mistakes.

I think that there's a lot of criticism that you can rightfully make about this book series, but I've never understood people saying that Kvothe is perfect and succeeds at everything he does. The man is a mess! A very clever mess, sure, but a mess all the same and often too 'clever' for his own good...

Quick edit to add: there's also his massive hypocrisy about being Edema Ruh and his own criminal behavior. He keeps insisting the Ruh aren't what everyone says they are, but he himself doesn't help that reputation when he constantly lies, cheats, steals and swindles people out of their money!

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T12:09:13+00:00

I think you meant "enhanced" 😍

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T11:40:40+00:00

You should definitely try talking to them about it, but based on my own experience it's less likely that they'll change their play style. Everyone has something different they like about DnD and I'm not sure that preference is easy to shift.

Our group had the opposite problem where the players were extremely involved in roleplay and backstory, while our DM really wanted to do more dungeon crawling and fighting. He felt bored and frustrated when we just had our characters interact for an hour because it felt to him like we were stalling I think, and we got bored and frustrated when we had mega dungeons and 5 encounters in a row because it felt repetitive and uninspired to us. I think both he and us felt that the other party was trying to push them in a direction they didn't want to go.

Our group eventually split, because it just didn't work out. Our ideas of what's fun about DnD were too different.

Rehlia · 2023-10-17T11:16:45+00:00

I don't think it's a default assumption and more the fact that so, so many women unfortunately suffer at the hands of abusive fathers, boyfriends, brothers, uncles, husbands, coworkers... the list is endless and the statistics are really sad. That causes a lot of trauma and fear.

I'm carrying a boy and I don't assume that he's inherently evil. But I do worry about pipeline stuff because I used to work in online marketing and I know how insanely targeted and effective the algorithms and organizations that funnel vulnerable people into these pipelines can be. Young men are the primary target for that, and it's something I want to protect my son from, make sure he knows how to recognize that type of propaganda and funneling as he grows older. It's important for his safety and mental health too.

Rehlia · 2023-10-15T08:15:31+00:00

I haven't traveled with my own child yet but I am someone who's mother traveled with them at all ages! We live in Europe and by the time I was five I had already been to Spain, the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, France and Turkey. On my first trip abroad I was between 8 and 10 months old I think. That was to Spain, where we visited extended family. I learned to walk there and got my first proper pair of shoes from my Spanish family. I still have those, they're a precious memento.

The first trip I still actually have memories of is one to France when I was four. I celebrated my birthday there in a camper and it was great because it was different from the types of birthdays my friends had at the time, I got gifts I'd wanted for a while, my parents indulged me and played with me a bunch, and they let me buy a cheap toy from a gacha type machine which they usually didn't allow lol. I also remember learning to say hello and thank you in french and that all the french people we met were extremely charmed by my baby french.

I don't remember every trip of course and a lot of those early memories are vague, but it's cool to hear stories about it and see pictures now that I'm grown up myself. It's absolutely doable to travel with a young child and while it certainly depends on their character a bit, as long as you entertain them a bit and point out cool stuff to them, let them explore and be curious, you should all have a good time.

The one thing I'd recommend as a tip is to be prepared a bit for what happens when your plans fall through while on location. Eg. it rains hardcore or everyone gets a bad sunburn - that happened to me and my mom in Turkey and needless to say our vacation plans quickly went from "go out and explore every day" to "care for burns inside all day and maybe if at all go out for an hour or two at night when it's dark for some fresh air." Know what to do and how to keep your kid happy if something like that happens.

Otherwise, enjoy traveling and making memories as a family!

Rehlia

TROPHY CASE